Marriage of Inconvenience(Knitting in the City Book #7)(66)
“You mean when we—uh—after we were married and the ki—”
“No, no. Not that thing.” He lifted an eyebrow, his mischievous little smile making an appearance. “I’m pretty clear on that thing.”
I pressed my lips together, twisting them to the side so I wouldn’t grin.
He did grin. But then it fell away, and a more thoughtful expression took its place. “I have an aunt—Becks, on my dad’s side—she has lots of relationships, with lots of people. It’s all consensual, out in the open. Told me when I was old enough to ask about it that she’s never been good at monogamy.”
“Ah. I see.” His assumption about me being polyamorous now made a lot more sense. “I’ve never been in a relationship, let alone several at the same time.”
Dan scratched his chin, his eyes narrowing just a hint. “You’re in one now.”
“It was supposed to be a fake one.”
Dan bit his lip, staring at me, but said nothing.
So I asked, “All this time, you thought I was polyamorous? In Vegas?”
“Yes.”
“And that’s why you left? That morning? Is that why you left the room so suddenly?”
“Yes.”
“Because—”
“I wanted monogamy.” He shrugged, not looking repentant. “And the woman I was way into heavily implied she wasn’t into that.”
“You were ‘way into’ me?” My voice was squeaky and my heart beat excitedly. Now I was smiling and I didn’t care, nor could I help it.
“Yep.” He seemed to be amused by the size of my grin, or maybe it was the squeak in my voice.
“You were?” I didn’t know why, but I needed to hear him confirm it again.
“Yes.”
“In Vegas?”
“In Las fucking Vegas. And before that, too.” He grinned, shaking his head.
“So you didn’t leave because I—”
“Because you what?”
“Because you were disappointed?”
“Fuck yeah, I was disappointed. I didn’t want to share. Maybe more importantly, I don’t want someone who’s willing to share me.”
“But you weren’t disappointed in—in—”
“In what?”
I became aware that I was twisting my fingers, so I curled them into fists. “That I’d . . . I had . . . I was—” Darn it! I just needed to spit it out.
Abruptly, Dan’s expression cleared, his eyes suddenly wide, dawning comprehension. “You thought I left because you’d slept with other guys?”
“A lot of other guys.”
He recoiled an inch. “Why would I have an opinion about that? As long as you’re cool with it, why is it my business? That would make me a judgmental assclown.”
My gaze fell to the ground.
“Kat?”
I swallowed, unable to meet his eye.
“Holy shit, Kat. That’s what you thought?”
I nodded, still not able to lift my gaze.
This was exactly the reason why I’d gone into therapy. I’d assumed the worst—about myself and therefore about him—and now two years later, here we were. If I’d just given myself a little credit, if I’d been kinder, if I’d had more self-confidence, maybe today, instead of a fake wedding, it would have been a real one.
Okay, that’s one heck of a jump. Slow down there, Miss Havisham.
“This is unbelievable.” Dan turned from me, throwing his hands in the air, rubbing his face as he turned back. He leaned against the door, shaking his head, his gaze distracted.
I huffed a laugh.
“That’s a lot of time wasted because of a stupid misunderstanding. If you’d just asked me—”
“Me? I’m not the one who thought you were polyamorous. Why didn’t you ask me about that?”
He glared, continuing to shake his head. “Two fucking years. No wonder you avoided me. I would have avoided me, too. This is the dumbest fucking thing I’ve ever heard.”
I agreed with him on this point. It was dumb. Jumping to conclusions, misunderstandings, pride and avoidance—it all felt incredibly trite in retrospect. Trite and idiotic.
And yet, a part of me was glad for it. As I’d confessed to Quinn, I’d needed the time. Not only had I made assumptions about Dan, I’d made assumptions about myself.
Dan’s features showcased a mixture of intense confusion and frustration, and a small little voice in my head wondered if it was too late. If our chance had passed.
I glared at that voice and shut a door in its face. What a stupid voice. You can’t sit here, voice. NEVER COME BACK!
While I was berating my doubt, the cloud of confusion hovering over Dan’s features abruptly cleared and his stare cut to mine. It startled me because—lo and behold—the sexy eyes were back.