As I tossed and turned, I reminded myself that he already knew about the drinking and some of my other choices. I’d confessed that much in Vegas, right before he walked out the door.
Soon he’ll know it all. Then he’ll change his mind.
I glanced at the clock next to my bed. It was just past two in the morning. The omnipresent weight over my heart had grown heavier. I rubbed my chest.
By the time my alarm sounded at 4:30 AM, I’d decided a few things:
1. I would not marry Dan until I felt confident I’d provided enough information for him to make a fully informed decision. He needed to understand what kind of person he was helping. He needed to know about my family. He needed to know what he could expect from Caleb. After going to the Clerk’s office this morning, I would suggest lunch so we could talk. During lunch, I would spell it all out. That would give him enough time to halt the backdating of the marriage certificate if he changed his mind.
2. Also during lunch, I would insist that I pay him for his time and trouble. But I was not going to bring up the prenup. How could I? He was putting himself on the line for me. Having him sign a prenup would be like taking out an advertisement in the Chicago Tribune and announcing that I didn’t trust him.
3. I needed to call my therapist. Whenever I began thinking in circles, I knew it was time for a check-in.
Therefore, I called my therapist first thing and left a message. Next, I messaged Eugene and informed him I would need access to a large quantity of liquid assets as soon as possible. On autopilot, I showered, applied makeup, and did my hair. And then I texted Steven and told him the news.
He responded almost immediately.
Steven: OOOHHHHHHHHHHHH MMMMMYYYYYYYYYYY GGGGOOOOOOOOODDDDDDD!!!!
I laughed at his antics, but he wasn’t finished.
Steven: I want all the details. Call me. And pics or it didn’t happen.
While sitting on the L, I composed a list on my phone of my most egregious sins, along with important events, dates, and people from my past. Typing the list required the entire thirty-minute train ride. When I arrived at my building, I re-read the items on the elevator, surprised when I found I’d also typed, I eat too much cheese without realizing it.
I didn’t delete the entry. If we were going to marry, he should know about my queso obsession. It was a problem.
I sent an email to the executive team, the administrative staff, and the senior architects right away, letting everyone know I would be taking my lunch from 10:30 AM until 1:30 PM, but would be working two hours early and staying late to make up the time.
My boss, the CEO, was out of town for the next two weeks, on a business trip in Helsinki, so I knew she wouldn’t care. When Ms. Opal arrived, she didn’t bring up my strange behavior from the prior day or my modified schedule, instead settling into her desk promptly at 7:20 AM and getting down to business.
Work was uneventful, but I was distracted. I must’ve checked the clock on my computer seven hundred times and almost jumped out of my chair when my cell phone rang at 9:34 AM. It was Eugene. I didn’t answer, opting to text him instead.
Me: I’m at work. What’s going on?
Eugene: He needs to sign the prenup.
Me: I don’t think that’s appropriate.
Eugene: Have him sign the prenup.
Me: I’m already asking a lot of him. It’s not appropriate.
Eugene: I’m serious.
Me: He’s very trustworthy.
Eugene: I don’t care if he’s Moses, he will sign that prenup.
Eugene: Kathleen. Assure me you will have him sign it.
Eugene: YOU MUST NOT GET MARRIED UNTIL HE SIGNS IT
Reading his last text, I couldn’t quite swallow. I’d never known Eugene to be a shouty-caps texter. Before I could respond, my phone buzzed. He was calling me again.
Flustered, and therefore handling my phone like it was a hot potato, I turned it off and tucked it into my backpack. Returning my attention to the pivot charts on my computer screen, I endeavored to decipher what I’d been trying to accomplish before his interruption.
I couldn’t. I was basically useless for the next forty-five minutes, sorting and resorting data, waiting for ten thirty to arrive. Thank goodness it was Thursday and I’d have a chance to catch up on work tomorrow and over the weekend.
Finally, finally it was time. Locking my computer, I was in the elevator by 10:31 AM. Lost to my thoughts, I didn’t see or hear the man in the lobby calling my name until just before he caught me by the elbow.
“Kat. Kat—hey, wait.”
Startled, I tugged my arm from his grip and turned on him. I’m not going to lie, my first panicked thought was that Caleb had arrived and I was too late, that his goons had come to collect me and lock me up.