Marriage of Inconvenience(Knitting in the City Book #7)(166)

—FDA.gov





**Kat**





A slanted sunbeam spilled across the carpet and the corner of the bed. Sounds from the city were faraway, only permeating the quiet when I held my breath and strained to listen. Cuddled beneath fluffy, warm covers that smelled like soap and clean cotton, I watched Dan sleep while I swallowed past a lump of rising self-recrimination.

We’d made love in the shower. After, we’d touched and kissed in the dark, learning each other’s bodies by heart. I’d fallen asleep content, happy, feeling hopeful. In the light of day, as I relived our frenzied moments, remorse replaced contentment.

I’d completely forgotten about birth control.

I’d been irresponsible.

I’d been thoughtless.

That’s not true. I hadn’t been thoughtless. I’d been thinking, but only about myself. Only about how great he felt, and how much I wanted him, and how loving him felt like freedom from fear and anxiety, and that freedom was just as inebriating as alcohol and drugs.

I’d been fortunate enough to escape my days of substance abuse without the encumbrance of addiction. I knew I was lucky. Some scientists believe, though as far as I knew it hadn’t yet been conclusively proven, a combination of genes are responsible for addiction vulnerability. If I’d been born with those genes—a luck of the draw, a roll of the dice—perhaps I wouldn’t have had the strength to change my life.

Or maybe I did have those genes. But instead of drugs and alcohol, my addiction was right in front of me.

Dan slept like a stone, strong even in his stillness. He lay facing me, his back to the window. The sunbeam touched the crown of his head and shoulders, giving the illusion that he, and not the sun, was the source of the light.

My gaze glanced over his crooked nose, the fringe of dark lashes against his cheeks, the grainy stubble of his jaw, the line of his lips at once luscious and stubborn.

He’s so beautiful.

My heart swelled and a quiet battle persisted within me.

Abruptly, Dan frowned, his body quaking, and he sucked in a short breath. He opened his eyes and I tucked my hands beneath my chin to keep from touching him.

“Hey,” he said, squinting at me, then the room, then the bed. “We’re at the hotel.”

I nodded, saying nothing as I studied the way his body moved as he turned, the stretch and pull of his muscles, the details of the ink on the plateau of his chest, the slope of his sides.

“Kat?”

My eyes darted to his. “Yes?”

Dan studied me for a second before he lifted an eyebrow, a mischievous smirk on his wonderful mouth. “Like anything you see?”

“Everything. Too much,” I lamented, and perhaps that was the problem.

“What time is it?” He propped himself up on his elbow, the side of his face resting in his hand.

“Just past nine. We need to be at your mom’s house by ten thirty.” I searched his face, finding a light bruise at his jaw I hadn’t noticed before, his stubble had mostly hidden it. “Your jaw—” I reached out, not touching the spot but tracing around it. “They did hurt you.”

Dan made a sound like pshaw, catching my fingers and bringing them to his lips. “Nah. Ricky pulled his punch. No biggie.” Dan yawned, his eyes sobering as they moved between mine. “There’s something I want to talk to you about.”

“Go ahead. But there’s something I want to discuss with you, too.”

“You wanna go first?”

I shook my head; I was still gathering my thoughts. “No. You go first.”

“Okay.” He inspected me, but then eventually said, “We need to talk about security.”

“Security?”

“Yeah. Seeing how easily Seamus’s crew could get in and out of here made me realize we can’t stay.”

He had a good point. “What are you thinking?”

“You’re not going to like it.”

“Go ahead.” I braced myself.

“What about your family’s place in Duxbury?”

Staring at him, I felt myself frown. “You’re right, I don’t like it.”

“When we were at Eugene’s office, going over the properties, it’s the one that makes the most sense. It’s nearby, gated, secluded on several acres, you got those guard dogs, the helicopter. You’d be skipping Boston traffic. Any security upgrades should be easy to handle, and it has a panic room on every floor.”

“Panic room,” I scoffed, laughing without humor. “Great.”

“Just think about it. We’ll stay here for another week, increase the security, but after that we’ve got to go.” Dan placed a kiss on my hand again, looking equal parts sympathetic and matter-of-fact. “Now you. What did you want to talk about?”