Marriage of Inconvenience(Knitting in the City Book #7)(14)

I chuckled, mostly because it was all I could do in the face of crushing anxiety about my future. “I need to get married. I have to find someone to marry. Eugene said I need to make this happen as soon as possible, which means I need to find someone today, go to the courthouse this afternoon, so I can get married tomorrow.”

Steven regarded me, tapping his chin with his index finger. “Hmm . . .”

“Hmm what?”

“Do you think—and this is purely hypothetical so don’t freak out—if you explained the situation to Dan, asked him to marry you, he would?”

I didn’t answer, because I didn’t want to lie. It would probably be horribly embarrassing, but he’d probably say yes if I explained how dire the situation was. My nausea returned just thinking about it.

“You’re not helping.” I glared at my friend.

“Oh, but I am. You said yourself he’s not interested in you, and didn’t your uncle Eugene say he wanted you to marry someone trustworthy? Someone you’ve known for years? Someone who wouldn’t complicate things with icky feelings? If you’re so sure Dan doesn’t think of you ‘in that way,’ then why not?”

“Steven.”

“Kat. Think about it. He’s actually perfect for the job.” My friend gave me the impression he was talking himself into this idea in real-time, as we sat on the couch. “Dan won’t care about Caleb’s threats, and Pharma Bro won’t scare him one iota.”

I stayed silent because Steven was absolutely right. Just the thought of Caleb trying to intimidate Dan was laughable. The stocky security executive’s reaction to Caleb’s threats would almost be worth the abject humiliation of asking Dan for help.

Almost.

But not quite.

Steven was still speaking, “. . . hilarious. And deserved. Have you ever seen Road to Perdition? It would be just like that, but with less trench coats and hats. Also, Dan will be impervious to bribery. He has enough money already. He’ll be impervious to it all—”

“Yes, but I’m not impervious to him.” My face crumpled and I covered it with a hand.

“Oh, lamb chop.” He placed his fingers lightly on my shoulder and I shrugged them off.

Taking three deep breaths, I stood from the couch, moving out of Steven’s reach. Wally followed, standing from where he’d been curled next to my feet.

I spoke when I was sure I had myself under control. “I’m sorry. I still like him. A lot. Even after he left me in Vegas. Even while he dated Tonya. I avoided him because I like him so much. Do you really think it’s a good idea for me to ask the guy I haven’t been able to move past in two years to fake-marry me?”

“Yes. I do.” Steven also stood, reaching for and holding my shoulders, forcing me to meet his eyes. “Honey, you’re out of options. And even if you weren’t, I think it’s the best idea I’ve had all month. And that’s saying a lot because I just bought a gorgeous new rug.”

I shook my head, but before I could offer new objections, he cut me off. “You said it yourself, you haven’t been able to move on from Dan. Honey, that’s nuts. It’s not normal, as an adult, to be hung up on a guy for over two years and never do anything about it.”

“What do you want me to do about it?”

“Stop avoiding him. Marry him. Confront the situation. Think of this as killing two birds with one stone. He’ll be impossible to avoid. Once you actually know him, then you’ll let go of this super unhealthy fascination with a man who, yes, is very hot, and nice, and funny, yada, yada, yada, but who isn’t worth your unrequited affection. You can move into the safe and neuter-feeling friend zone.”

“You realize this suggestion makes absolutely no sense.”

“You realize this suggestion is genius.”

I groaned, moving farther away, wanting to pull my hair out. Wally again followed, shadowing my movements and wagging his tail. “I don’t have time to debate this with you. I need to—”

“Then I have a proposition. You ask Dan, today. Wait for him here. When he gets home, ask him. Tell him the minimal amount of information required to get the importance of the situation across. If he doesn’t immediately say yes, if he hesitates at all, then I’ll marry you.”

“Of course he’s going to hesitate.”

Steven held his hands up. “Then I’ll marry you.”

“And what about your boyfriend?”

“I’ll talk to him tonight. He’ll understand, or I’ll make him understand. I hope. Don’t worry about it.”

“No. No. That’s not fair—”