Marriage Without Love & More Than a Convenient Marriage(56)

Without another word he turned and left her lying on the sand, her mind in turmoil, while her body ached in bitter frustration and to her everlasting shame she knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that if he were to come back now and take her in his arms she would be powerless to resist him.

Somehow she managed to make her way to their room. There was no sign of Kieron, but then she had not expected that there would be. Her body throbbed with a deep hunger, which she tried to suppress. She had been so wrapped up in her own dreams, so exalted by what she had learned from Marian, that she had failed to appreciate the full effect of what, to Kieron, was her rejection, of both him and his love.

Of course he had wanted revenge. Hadn’t she felt exactly the same? And forcing the ‘woman’ in her to respond to him was all part of that revenge. She knew enough about rejection to appreciate the bitterness and thirst for revenge which were its hydra-headed offspring. She should have talked to him, she thought drearily, explained that she had never had his letters, never known what had happened to him. But would it do any good? Wasn’t his bitterness too deeply ingrained? If he had had the slightest shred of feeling left for her, surely tonight must have overcome the barriers.

A terrible weariness swept over her. She could go on no more. Tonight had drained every last drop of her courage. How could she even face Kieron again knowing how she had betrayed herself to him? No lovemaking without love, he had claimed, and yet he must have known how she felt, she had betrayed it so blatantly, wantonly encouraging him to make love to her. She groaned, turning over in the huge empty bed, beyond tears. Beyond anything but a need for total and absolute oblivion.





CHAPTER TEN


‘I SEE you and Kieron were on the beach last night,’ Louise announced acidly over breakfast.

Briony flushed but resolutely refused to look up from her croissants. Let Kieron answer her. Where had he been all night? To the best of her knowledge he had not returned to their room.

‘You were on the beach, weren’t you?’ Louise pressed Kieron.

‘Briony felt like a swim,’ was all Kieron would say, but Briony’s face flamed to think that Louise might have observed their lovemaking—or what had happened after.

During the morning Louise had a phone call from Paris, and returned to the patio with more animation in her face than Briony had previously observed.

‘An old friend of mine from Paris,’ she announced, flopping on to a sunlounger. ‘Jean-Paul wants me to return home. What do you think, chéri?’ she asked Kieron provocatively. ‘Ought I to go?’

‘That decision must surely rest only with you,’ Marian said firmly. ‘Jean-Paul has been very patient with you, Louise, but no man waits for ever, and from what your mother tells me he’s a very successful and personable young man.’

Her words had obviously hit the right note, for after several minutes Louise excused herself and hurried into the salon, returning several minutes later to explain that she had booked herself on to the next Paris flight from Nice airport.

‘Will you take me to the airport, chéri?’ she pleaded to Kieron.

Briony excused herself, unwilling to witness the sight of the French girl openly attempting to seduce her husband. The pleasant breeze of the previous evening had turned into a spiteful wind, and her claim to have a headache was no lie. Even Nicky seemed querulous, and the temperature had dropped several degrees.

It was Héloise who explained what had happened when she brought Briony a soothing tisane.

‘It is the mistral,’ she said, shrugging her shoulders. ‘It is the snake in what would otherwise be paradise,’ she added fatalistically.

The tisane made Briony feel sleepy, her mind floating free of her body. She had no idea whether Kieron had taken Louise to the airport and neither did she care, or so she told herself. Had she learned nothing from the past? she asked herself resentfully. Once before she had hoped for love from Kieron Blake and not received it, so why had she thought it might be different a second time?

Her thoughts were too confusing and painful to be borne. She closed her eyes and let sleep take her in its protective embrace.

The silence awoke her, something in its empty quality alerting her to danger. Where was Nicky? It was long past the time for his rest, and surely Héloise would have woken her if she had put him to bed? Shivering with sudden inexplicable fear, Briony hurried into the small dressing room. One of Nicky’s baby shoes lay discarded on the floor, his much beloved and chewed teddy-bear lying on the bed.

Telling herself that she was over-reacting, Briony hurried into the kitchen. There was no sign of Héloise, and biting her lip she remembered Marian telling her that she usually gave Héloise and François the same afternoon off.