Marriage Without Love & More Than a Convenient Marriage(37)

‘I’m not going away with you,’ she announced instantly. ‘Go on your own, or take Gail with you.’

To her chagrin he shook with laughter.

‘Oh, I don’t think I could do that. You see, we’re going to stay with my godmother, and I’ve already told her that my wife’s a redhead. Of course, Nicky and I can always go alone.’

‘You can’t!’

‘Try me,’ he invited softly. ‘Nicky and I are going whether you go or not. All the arrangements are made. I’ve booked the ferry. We leave next Wednesday.’

‘The ferry? Where does your godmother live?’

‘Oh, didn’t I tell you? I must have had other things on my mind,’ he taunted smoothly. ‘She lives in France near St Jean Cap Ferrat. She has a small villa there with its own private beach. Nicky will love it.’ There was a world of meaning in those last few words, and Briony knew that he intended to take Nicky to France whether she went with them or not.

‘Well, are you coming with us?’

‘I’m certainly not letting you take Nicky on your own!’

‘How gracefully you give in!’ he mocked. ‘Will you need to buy anything? I was going to suggest I arranged for Mrs Johnson to look after Nicky on Monday.’

‘You think of everything, don’t you?’ Briony said savagely. There seemed to be no part of her life he hadn’t taken over and she resented it bitterly. Not content with taking her son, he seemed to want to dominate her life as well.

‘I try,’ he agreed. ‘Although I have been known to be defeated, if it brings you any comfort.’

With that enigmatic comment he strolled out into the garden, unbuttoning his shirt and dropping it carelessly on the lawn before stretching himself out in the sun. His torso was powerfully built and muscular, his stomach flat and taut. As she watched him awareness crept gradually over her and she had to turn away, trembling with fear at the discovery she had just made. She still loved him! Her body had known it long before her mind, hence its immediate reaction to him. But whatever happened he must never find out. That would be the crowning humiliation. She stuffed a fist in her mouth to prevent herself from screaming. Dear God, how was she to endure the rest of her life as his wife and yet still maintain the fiction that she hated him, especially if he continued in his present vein? She could never endure his full possession without betraying herself. Merely the thought of it turned her bones weak to the marrow with intense longing. What she must do was to maintain as great a distance between then as possible. She must never, never again allow a repetition of this afternoon’s events. If Nicky had not cried when he did there could have been only one outcome, and her cheeks burned with shame as she recalled Kieron’s mocking accusations to the same effect.

She went upstairs to wake Nicky, dressing him in a tee-shirt and shorts, his chubby brown limbs melting her heart with tenderness. When they got downstairs she sent him outside to Kieron, trying not to feel racked with envy and shut out as Kieron reached out a hand to encircle his son and pull him down beside him, the two dark heads achingly similar as Nicky curled up trustingly within the protection of his father’s arm.





CHAPTER SEVEN


‘WE’LL stop soon and have something to eat.’

Briony nodded. They were driving through Northern France, along a straight, fast road bordered with poplar trees, which seemed to go on for ever. Nicky had fallen asleep in his car seat and after the little boy’s chatter had faded away a deep silence had filled the car.

Briony hadn’t wanted to come away on this holiday. She could see no good coming out of it—and potentially a lot of danger. Since she had made the discovery that she was still in love with Kieron she had been filled with a terrible fear that somehow he might find out, and the effort of trying to appear cool and unaware of him had already seriously depleted her small reserves of self-control. It was as though after years of being subordinate to her mind, her body had finally thrown off its yoke, making its own needs and desires all too plain.

They had been driving since early morning and Briony was glad of the opportunity to stretch her legs when they eventually stopped for lunch in a small French town. Although she didn’t want to admit it, it was a relief to let Kieron take charge, finding them somewhere to eat, and informing the waiter in crisp French that they would need something plain and simple for Nicky.

They were shown to a patio shaded by wisteria, its grey gnarled trunk and branches spread flat against the whitewashed wall of the restaurant, a small river flowing placidly on its way to the sea several yards away.