Marriage Without Love & More Than a Convenient Marriage(106)

At least you’re not in love with your husband. I’ve always been proud of you for having that much sense, but children are a mistake, Adara. You have no idea how much power a man has over you once babies enter the picture.

Adara had recoiled from her mother’s words, finding it distasteful to be accused of having no feelings for Gideon even though that had been her goal for most of her marriage.

“I wanted her to be happy for us and she just took off on a bitter rant about my father.” Hearing her mother refer to her grandchild as a “mistake” had been the greatest blow of all. Her entire childhood, void as it had been of parental pride and joy, had crawled out from under the bed, grim and dark and ready to swallow her.

“She’s sick,” Gideon reminded her.

“I know, but—” But you lied to him, she had wanted to say. Maybe her father wouldn’t have twisted into such a cruel man if his wife had been honest from the start.

There was no use trying to change her mother at this point though. Challenging her, arguing and judging, were incredibly misplaced. Her mother wasn’t just sick, she was dying.

“We’ll do better by our child,” Gideon vowed, pausing to turn her into him. He lifted her hand to graze his lips across the backs of her fingers. The ring he’d given her yesterday winked at her.

At the same time, his eyes held a somber rebuke. Gideon was a patient man, but this time he wasn’t going to let her avoid his silent question. Even as she absorbed his earnest statement, her mother’s voice whispered again, You have no idea how much power a man has over you once babies enter the picture.

But she wasn’t her mother. There weren’t any lies between her and Gideon. The secrets and recriminations that had surrounded her growing up, forcing her to close off her heart out of self-protection, were old news. Their child, unpolluted by any of that, gave her a chance to love cleanly and openly.

This fresh start with this man, who already stirred her so deeply, was a chance to build a truly happy life. If she dared believe she was entitled to it and opened herself to letting it happen. It was a huge leap of faith, but she’d taken one in marrying him at all. Maybe she was putting her heart at deep risk, but again and again he’d proven himself to be a man she could trust.

“We will, won’t we?” she said in quiet promise.

Relief and a flicker of deeper emotion was quickly transformed into his predominant mask of arrogant confidence. For a second, he’d seemed moved, which made her heart trip, but now he was his typical conqueror self, nearly smug with triumph—which was familiar and oddly endearing, making her want to laugh and ignore her old self trying to warn her that she might be giving up too much too quickly.

But if she had a soupy, awed look on her face, he wore one of fierce tenderness.

“You’re so beautiful.” The kiss he bent to steal was as reverent and sweet as it was hard and possessive.

Her lips clung to his as he drew away.

“Don’t get ideas,” he chided, breaking contact from her look of invitation. “We’re cut off until you deliver.”

“That’s you being overcautious. Karen didn’t say we couldn’t.” She was still aggravated that they’d shared a bed last night but hadn’t made love. She was nervous about doing anything to jeopardize her pregnancy, but they’d been making love without consequence until now.

“Karen doesn’t know how insatiable we are once we get started. Just do me a favor and don’t make this harder than it is.”

“Pun intended?” She drifted her gaze down his front to the bulge behind his fly.

“This is going to be a very long pregnancy.” He gritted his teeth, making her laugh as he guided her inside for an early dinner before driving home.





CHAPTER TEN

AFTER YEARS OF being the one who micromanaged to ensure everything met her father’s impossible standards, Adara was forced to let go and trust others to pull off top-notch work with minimal input. It wasn’t easy, but she eased up and was pleasantly surprised by her very efficient teams. Despite her working from home for months, only checking in electronically, they were managing great things without her.

Staying away from the office had a drawback, however. Moving through the ballroom decorated in fall colors of gold, crimson and burnt umber, she couldn’t help congratulating people on putting together a brilliant event to celebrate the Makricosta chain’s thirty-fifth anniversary. They all reacted with great surprise and when Adara met up with Connie, a woman she’d worked closely with for years, she realized why.

Connie rocked back on her four-inch heels. “Wow, I’ve never seen a woman as pregnant as you act so happy and outgoing. When I got that big, I was a complete cow.”