Marriage Without Love & More Than a Convenient Marriage(100)
At the same time, she was caught by the single word that didn’t seem to fit with a mother he’d described as “maternal.”
“Why were you scared?” she asked gently.
Gideon sighed. “I really don’t like talking about it, Adara.”
“Mmm,” she murmured in old acquiescence, then said into his chest, “But I told you about my childhood, unhappy as it was, and we’re closer for it. Aren’t we?”
He sighed and rolled onto his back, arms loosening from his hold on her. “My story’s a hell of a lot uglier than yours. I don’t know much about my mother except what I told you before. I give her credit for somehow getting us into a rented room by the time she died, but before that, I can remember her leaving me in, literally, holes in the wall. Telling me to stay there until she came back. Can you imagine a woman—a child—trying to keep a baby alive while living on the street? I never felt safe.”
“Oh, Gideon,” she whispered, reaching her hand onto his chest.
He clasped her hand in his, taking care not to crush her fine bones, but was torn between rejecting her caress of comfort and clinging to it. He was sorry he’d started this, but part of him wanted to lay the groundwork. If his past ever came out, he wanted Adara to understand why he’d become who he was.
“I hate remembering how powerless I felt. So when you ask me why I go after what I want however I have to, that’s why.”
“How did she die?”
The unforgettable image of his mother’s weary eyes staring lifelessly from her battered face flashed behind his closed eyes. He opened them to the streaks of moonlight on the bedroom ceiling, trying to dispel the memory.
“She was beaten to death.” By a john, if he’d pieced things together in his mind correctly.
“Oh, my God! What happened? Did the police find who did it? Where were you? Did you go into foster care after, or...?”
“I didn’t stick around for police reports. I was so terrified, I just ran.” All the way onto a ship bound for America, barely old enough to be in school.
“You saw her?”
“I told you it was ugly.”
Her breath came in on a shaken sob. “I’m so sorry, Gideon. And you saw that other man, too. Your mentor.”
“Kristor,” he provided. Kristor Vozaras, but now wasn’t the time to explain how they’d come to have the same name. “I knew I couldn’t live like that, on the docks where crime is a career and a human life worth nothing. No matter what, I had to climb higher than carrying everything I owned in a bag on my shoulder. Whatever it took, I had to amass some wealth and take control of my destiny.”
She moved her head on his chest, nodding in understanding perhaps. Her warm fingers stroked across his rib cage and she hugged herself tighter into him, the action warmly comforting despite his frozen core.
“I’m glad you didn’t limit yourself,” she said. “I’ve always admired you for being a risk-taker. I’ve never had the nerve to step beyond my comfort zone.”
“Oh, Adara,” he groaned, heart aching in his chest as he weaved his fingers into hers. “You’re the most courageous woman I know.” How else could she stare down the probability of another heartbreak with fierce love for their child brimming in her heart?
Maybe he couldn’t control whether or not she kept this baby, but he was going to fight like hell to keep her. No matter what.
* * *
Adara woke in her old bed and thought for a second it was all a dream. She hadn’t gone to Greece, hadn’t found closeness with her husband...
Then he padded into her room, half-naked, hair rumpled, expression sober as he indicated the phone in his hand. “Karen wants to know if we can get to her office before the rest of her patients start arriving.”
It all came rushing back. Pregnant. Fear clutched her heart, but she ignored the familiar angst and sat up, nodding. “Of course. I’ll get dressed and we can leave right away.”
“Um.” Gideon’s mouth twitched. “You might want to wash your face.”
Adara went to the mirror and saw a goth nightmare staring back at her. “Right,” she said with appalled understatement.
Gideon confirmed with Karen and left for his own room to dress.
Their lighthearted start became somber as Gideon drove them to the clinic, neither of them speaking while he concentrated on the thickening traffic and the reality of their history with pregnancy closed in on them.
Nevertheless, as urgently as Adara wanted to self-protect right now, she also really, really appreciated Gideon’s solid presence beside her. He warmed her with a strong arm across her back as they walked up to Karen’s office and kept a supportive hold on her as they stood numbly waiting for the receptionist, still in her street jacket, to escort them into an exam room.