She shrugged. "I feel fine. I think a good night's rest was all I needed."
I shook my head. "That wasn't exactly what I meant," I clarified. "I was asking if you've cooled off from the argument with your friend, Naseem. Are you gonna call him?"
Her expression changed immediately and she looked up again. "Not sure."
There was an unsettled look in her eyes, enough that I knew she wasn't comfortable with the conflict between them.
"Have you all ever fallen out like this before?"
A deep breath left her mouth as she answered. "Never. We've always been tight."
And I believed that. From what she told me from the beginning, I knew they had to have been close, even aside from them briefly seeing one another for a while. Because of that, I knew this hurt her more than she was letting on. If I had to guess, she was only holding that back because she was talking to me.
"You probably should-call him, I mean. I think you'll feel better once you do," I eventually added, encouraging her to smooth things out. No, I didn't particularly like dude's vibe at the hospital, nor was I in any way suggesting she give him another shot on a romantic level, but I wasn't trying to stop their friendship. I'd never do that.
As long as he didn't lose his cool again, he and I wouldn't have a problem. When and if Brynn and I became more than what we are now, which I believed we would, I wouldn't be that guy who's so insecure his girl can't keep her friends. From what I gathered, Naseem was just having a hard time accepting that I'm in Brynn's life now-in any capacity. As long as he could get on board with that, he and I wouldn't have any beef.
She shrugged her shoulders and aimlessly stroked the back of my hand with her thumb while unspoken thoughts passed through her head. "I don't know," she said, finally responding. "Maybe the distance between he and I is best for right now."
Yeah, she was definitely hurt. I could hear it in her voice, see it on her face. Whatever was said cut deeper than I realized.
My instincts told me she needed a hug, so I didn't hesitate to pull her close using the hand she already held. She came willingly and nuzzled her face against the front of my neck. My chin rested gently on top of her head and I kept telling myself not to get too attached, not to enjoy this feeling as much as I did, but it didn't work. Not even when I reminded myself that this could all be temporary now that she knew more about me. It was too late, though. She'd already gotten under my skin.
I loosened my grip when I realized how late it was getting.
"We should probably get ready. I have to get you to your appointment with Dr. Rubino in a few."
"Oh, shoot!" she said to herself, sitting up immediately. "I almost forgot."
I'd already texted Pete to let him know I wouldn't be at the shop today so I could take Brynn in for a follow up like the doctor at the hospital mentioned yesterday. If she's given a clean bill of health, I wouldn't bother suggesting that she let me keep an eye on her here again. I knew she wouldn't be comfortable with more than one night, but I worry about her being alone. It comforted me knowing she was having a houseguest coming to stay with her in a couple weeks-her sister-in-law, Mona. She mentioned it during the lighter part of our conversation right before we dozed last night and knowing she'd have someone there under the same roof to watch over her for a few days gave me peace of mind.
I watched as she left my bedroom, completely unaware of the fact that I was even remotely concerned about where we stood now. She disappeared down the hallway toward the spare room where her things were.
As I lie there staring at the ceiling, my father's words came back to mind. He said that the desire of a good man's heart was always his family. That resonated with me from the second he spoke them. Being real with myself, I wasn't exactly sure how good of a man I was, but I was sure of what I wanted. While I initially convinced myself that I didn't need anything other than a relationship with my daughter once she got here, I was slowly but surely starting to realize that I wanted one with her mother, too. I wanted more than to get along with Brynn, more than just an opportunity to co-parent with her. I wanted to be with her, although I hadn't had the courage to fully admit that yet.
At first, I didn't entertain the thought because I wasn't sure of my place in her life with Naseem in the picture. However, now that I had a clearer understanding of how he and I had switched roles, a new dilemma crept in and possibly stole whatever chance I might've had.
And this time it was on me.
I didn't dance because I loved it. I danced because the money I earned allowed me to do for others. In years past, I tossed around the idea of quitting, but then someone's car would break down, or someone would get behind on a bill, or any number of other things. For that reason, I felt like I had to keep going, but before now it never affected me personally. Before I didn't care a whole lot about what anyone thought or how they looked at me.
Now, there was a chance that what I do for a living might actually stand in the way of me moving forward and … well … living. It came down to my priorities. On the one hand, I couldn't be responsible for my family falling on hard times simply because I wasn't able to provide. That didn't sit well with me. But I also didn't see the sense in not giving Brynn and I a fighting chance when, technically, she's family, too.
With my little girl on the way, I'd been feeling this strong urge to change, this deep seated need to be better than I'd ever been before. I owed it to her, to Brynn, to my family, to myself, to do the right thing.
It's just that, with everything I had to consider, I think I lost sight of what that ‘right thing' was a long time ago.
Chapter Nineteen
Brynn
The sound of my doorbell had me hopping up off my couch and readjusting the towel wrapped around my freshly-washed hair. Mona didn't even get a word in before I had my arms around her neck, squeezing her like I hadn't seen her in years, although it'd only been months. She dropped her bags and then took my hands in hers, looking me over with wide eyes.
I imagined the reality of me actually being pregnant was just hitting her now, seeing me with her own eyes. I was six months on the nose and there was absolutely no hiding it now.
"Oh my gosh, Brynn, you're like … for real having a baby!" she screeched. I laughed and let her touch my stomach when she asked permission, although she really didn't need to. I wasn't surprised to see her getting teary eyed. "It looks good on you, girl," she added.
I flashed her a cheeky grin. "Thank you."
She nodded as her gaze slipped down to my belly again and then she came in for another big hug.
"I'm so happy you're here!" I squealed.
"So am I," she said back. "I can't wait for Ced to see you, too, though."
At the mention of my brother's name, my heart broke a little. It would've been nice to have him here this weekend, but he'd been in litigation hell with one client in particular for months. The case was huge, demanded all his time and attention. However, he sent Mona here with his blessing, wanting her to celebrate her birthday with me and a few of her cousins who live in the area-the same who'd gone out to The Alibi with us for Mona's bachelorette party, the night everything changed.
To say that I was less than excited about the plans was an understatement, but this wasn't about me. Since first having to endure her in high school, I'd never been too fond of one of the three cousin's Mona invited-Tasha. However, Mona had no idea I felt this way, nor would she, because I didn't want to spoil her night. Tasha definitely rubbed me the wrong way with her bad attitude and snobbery, but I could tolerate her for a few hours.
Apparently, we were club hopping, which I wasn't looking forward to for obvious reasons. Worst case scenario, I'd get stuck babysitting their drinks and purses all night. The thought of it bored me to tears, which reminded me not to leave here without charging my phone. I'd probably be relying on it to keep me entertained.
"Okay, so come on and put your things in your room, rest for a bit, and then I'm ready for you to get this hair together," I said, smiling as I pointed to the towel I was currently sporting.
The plan was for Mona to redo my sew-in while she was in town, which would save me from having to pay someone to do it this month. I was much more mindful of my budget these days.
She waved me off. "I don't need to rest. That's all I did on the plane ride here. We can start now."
Sounded good to me.
I'd always been particular about my hair so I picked up a trick or two to make it last longer in between appointments, but it was definitely time for a redo. Mona took her things to the spare room and then met me in the living room where I already had everything set up-hair, scissors, needle, thread, and everything else I anticipated she'd need. We didn't talk while she blow dried me, but after that, all she wanted to discuss was Marco.