Had to.
I finally settled on a pair of leggings and a black tunic top. The thin material would keep me cool. I slipped into my flat, silver sandals when Marco called to say he was outside, and after grabbing my dish from the fridge, I headed out.
A sleek, silver two-seater sat in my driveway and I met Marco's gaze from where he sat behind the steering wheel. I stepped off the porch and he hopped out, crossing the pavement to take the dessert from my hands and to offer me his arm. I smiled at his thoughtfulness and let him assist me even though I didn't really need it.
"You look beautiful," he said with a smile as his eyes slipped over me. "Beautiful and nervous."
I laughed and didn't bother denying that. "Thank you," I said first. "And maybe a little," I added.
He shook his head, assuring me I had nothing to worry about, but that was easy for him to say. At the most, he'd maybe have a phone conversation with my brother, which was nothing compared to this.
"You'll be fine," he insisted. "Nobody's gonna mess with you."
I smiled again, but didn't respond, trying to prepare my mind for this.
I glanced over, noticing his fresh trim and lineup. The dark shadow of hair that remained was crisp as well, which meant he'd gone for a haircut this weekend. The black button-down and dark denim jeans he wore made it look like we coordinated our outfits on purpose. A large diamond stud twinkled in his ear when the sun hit it and I looked him over discreetly while we walked toward his car, not bothering to deny my attraction to him.
It was useless to fight.
On several occasions, I had to tone down my stare when he was around. There was just always this strong pull toward him that was likely what had gotten us in trouble months ago. He watched me often, too, usually when he didn't think I was paying attention. Like now, I noticed his eyes on my breasts as he helped me into my seat. He was so distracted by them he didn't remember to make eye contact until it was time to pass me my dish to hold while he drove.
I felt my cheeks warm when I thanked him and then watched his trim, sexy frame from the rearview mirror as he rounded the back of the car. He climbed in and sat beside me just before the powerful engine revved beneath the hood, sending a gentle vibration up my legs and back. The dark, leather interior still smelled and looked new.
"Did you just buy this?" I asked, looking around. I also remembered there being a black truck parked in my driveway when he stopped by to check on me the week before.
He shook his head. "No, I've had it about a year," he answered. "I just don't drive it all that often. I'm usually in my Yukon."
I nodded and found myself wondering just how well his tattoo business was paying. But then again, he did mention having income property, so it made sense that he wasn't hurting for cash.
My phone buzzed inside my purse and I reached to grab it. A text from Naseem read: ‘Can we talk?'
I stared at his message for a moment. It'd been weeks since the conversation we had outside my house and all I heard ringing inside my head was his statement about how I let Marco make a fool of me. I still hadn't gotten over the way he came at me and I couldn't promise I wouldn't say the wrong thing if we talked while I still wasn't over it. I didn't plan to be mad forever, but, for now, I was definitely upset. I'd give him a call when I was sure I could do so with a level head.
All I said back was, ‘I'm busy. Maybe I'll call later,' and that seemed sufficient to me. After that, I placed my cell back inside my handbag. It went off back to back several times as Naseem flooded it with messages. If I had to guess, he was stating how silly it was that we hadn't spoken in so long, but I didn't agree. The distance felt necessary. Who knows? Maybe it would help define our boundaries a little more clearly.
Marco let out a soft chuckle, one that made me glance his way as he changed lanes. "Somebody's blowing you up," he said casually, not implying anything.
None of our daily conversations had ever led us down a road where we ended up discussing our personal lives, but it wasn't because either of us had anything to hide. I'd told him about Naseem briefly in the beginning, but Naseem and I had mostly settled back into the groove of platonic friendship-although, things were a bit rocky at the moment. Still, if Marco was seeing someone, that'd be perfectly fine. I had no rights to speak on it.
So, in the spirit of keeping things with us open and honest, I responded to his statement. "It's the friend I told you about. His name's Naseem," I added for clarity.
He gave a nod, knowing exactly who I meant.
"The one you started kicking it with, right?" he inquired in an even, unassuming tone.
I nodded, but then elaborated on that. "Yeah, but that's over. We're just doing the friend thing again."
Marco didn't respond right away, just watched the road.
The more I thought about it, the decision to pump the brakes with Naseem was wise. I had too much going on to devote time to building a new relationship. It was best like this.
"Can I uh … can I ask you a question?"
I turned toward Marco and nodded, hoping I wouldn't regret this like the last time someone wanted to poke around with questions.
"Sure."
He only hesitated for a second before finishing his thought. "Is it because you're expecting? Was that what made you all just go back to being friends?"
The state of me and Naseem's relationship was definitely the result of my pregnancy, but I didn't have resentful feelings about it. For whatever reason, maybe it was the physical manifestations of my daughter soon coming into the world-feeling her move, the ultrasound images, seeing my own body grow and change as she did the same inside-but anything that didn't revolve around her was second to me. Including Naseem. I deeply valued his friendship, but with each passing day, I became more okay with him maintaining the role he'd always played in my life. Friend.
"Yes," I replied, answering Marco's question, "but I'm fine with that." And I honestly was now.
Marco nodded and I wondered if there was something behind that question, so I did some poking around myself. "Why do you ask?"
He took a breath and shrugged, hanging a right at a stop sign. "It's just something I've been thinking about lately-wondering how either of us is supposed to navigate the dating scene now. There's not exactly any easy way to explain to someone that you have a kid on the way, but you're still technically available."
I laughed, which I don't think he expected. A smile came my way. "That's funny?" he asked.
"No, but I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it'd be much easier for you to have that conversation than it would be for me." I pointed at my stomach right after. "This is kind of hard to hide."
Marco chuckled. "I didn't mean to imply that we're in the same boat. You're right; your position is definitely a little rougher than mine."
I nodded and laughed again. "Yes. Thank you," I gloated, as if I'd won some sort of contest between us. "Have you tried dating at all since you found out?" I asked, hoping that wasn't too personal. I didn't think it would be seeing as how he hadn't hesitated to ask something similar.
A sharp breath escaped his lungs and he shrugged. "Not really. A girl I used to have a thing for back in the day popped up and wanted to start hanging out when she moves back in a few weeks."
My stomach twisted and I ignored the feeling. "Oh! Well … that sounds promising," I replied, hoping it didn't sound like I was being disingenuous.
Marco shrugged again, though. "Sounded promising," he corrected. "I'm pretty sure I blew my chances."
I hate to admit this, but I felt a sense of relief when those words left his mouth. Still, I had to pretend to be concerned. "Really? What happened?"
We stopped at a light and his hand slipped down the steering wheel a few inches. "I ran into her last weekend," he explained, "and … she came at me, but I pulled away."
I assumed by ‘came at him' he meant she tried to kiss him. That uneasy feeling returned to my stomach, even though he said he turned her down.
"Why'd you pull away?" I asked absentmindedly, glancing out the window as I pictured him with some random chick.
Several seconds passed and I turned his way again, only to find him contemplating, trying to sort things out. "Honestly? It was just a reaction. She kissed me and I backed off." He paused again. "I don't know. I think I was just preoccupied."
I asked the question, "With what?" not expecting the answer that came, but then it did.
"You."
My eyes blinked several times. When I met Marco's gaze, it shifted away quickly, but only because he was driving.
"I was worried when you didn't pick up. That was all I could think about last week-the night you wouldn't pick up your phone," he clarified. "So, when she made her move, I just … I don't know … I guess I wasn't in the mood."