I plopped down on the couch when I got tired of pacing.
"Uh oh," came my brother's voice. "What'd you do?"
The question reminded me of when we were kids and I'd come into the room sniffing back tears, a sure sign I'd gotten in trouble by one of our parents for cutting up. I burst out laughing at the memory and so did Cedric.
"Nothing," I answered, grinning. A moment passed and he stayed quiet, I'm guessing because he knew that wasn't the whole truth.
‘Stop stalling and just spit it out!' I thought to myself.
"Okay," I blurted. "There's something I need to tell you, so just … let me get it all out before you say anything."
Cedric stayed silent on the other end of the line and I imagined the stoic expression he wore while listening.
"You're gonna be an uncle!" I forced out and then bit my nails while waiting for him to say something.
"As in … you adopted a puppy?" he asked.
I huffed and felt my shoulders slump. "No, as in … I'm having a baby."
My brother and I were both raised to be responsible, productive human beings. As the children of a prominent lawyer and a respected college professor, we were taught to be mindful of our actions and their consequences. For that reason, Ced and I rarely did anything even remotely reckless, so it didn't surprise me that my brother was at a loss for words right now.
"If this is a joke, it's not funny," was his response.
"I wouldn't play like that."
He fell silent again and I wondered what he must be thinking.
"Wow … I … Brynn … "
I didn't say a word as I held the phone.
"You're … Does Mona know yet?"
I sank back into the couch. "I told her when I first found out. The only reason I waited to tell you is because I … I couldn't figure out how to say it."
"When you first found out?" he asked, sounding concerned now. "Exactly how long have you been keeping this from me?"
Ugh … he spoke as if he was grilling a witness on the stand and I hated the sound of it.
"A couple months ago."
"A couple … " He paused to calm himself. "Brynn, how far along are you?" His voice was still raised a little, in true big brother-fashion.
I chewed the side of my lip and braced myself for his response. "Far enough along to know I'm having a girl."
A door or something slammed in the background and my heart raced as I pictured him closing himself inside his home office for privacy, apparently not wanting Mona to hear him rip into me.
"It's Naseem's?" he asked curtly, assuming he was the father seeing as how the chemistry between us was common knowledge.
I shook my head. "No … not Naseem. You don't know the guy."
Ced sighed into the phone. "How long have you been seeing him?"
And now the fun began …
"Well, here's the thing," I explained, letting a nervous laugh slip. "I'm … not … seeing him. We just-"
"This was just some random hookup?"
I made a face Ced dubbed ‘the oops face', one I'd been making since I was a kid when I'd mess up. "Kinda."
Another heavy sigh meant he was upset. Really upset. I fully expected the initial shock to throw him for a loop, so I just sat there and let him have his moment. With only two years between us, my brother and I were close, so I knew him like the back of my hand. For instance, I pictured him sitting in his high-back, brown, leather chair, massaging his temples as he wondered how I'd gotten myself into this.
"I'm fine, Ced. Seriously."
"You're not fine," he countered.
I didn't say anything back.
"You're not even with this guy. How are you … " he paused again and I heard him mumbling, talking himself down before going on. "You don't know this guy. How're you supposed to do this alone? No help. No family." I was just getting ready to interrupt to let Ced know that while, no, Marco and I weren't together, I was confident I wouldn't be doing this alone. However, he cut in again before I had the chance to speak. "Come to Atlanta. Stay with Mona and I. We can help you."
I made a face, remembering when my sister-in-law and best friend had made the same suggestion. "Ced, I'm a grown woman. I can handle this on my own. Trust me," I insisted. "The only reason I was hesitant to tell you was because I didn't feel like explaining my connection to the father, but I don't need to move. He's not some deadbeat." I thought of the positive interaction Marco and I have had lately and honestly felt at peace. "He's a good guy."
"A good guy," Ced repeated with a huff. "I need to meet him, or at least talk to him-see what he's about."
I nodded again. "He already said he'd like to do that," I replied, hoping Ced would realize Marco wasn't some coward. He had every intention to gain my brother's trust and respect.
My brother had fought several of my battles, emotionally and physically. As each other's only blood relative, we were inexplicably protective of one another. He'd roughed up a few guys in the past who broke my heart. The suit and tie he wore Monday through Friday came off quickly if someone crossed me. However, this wasn't one of those cases. I didn't need my big brother to come to my rescue.
"I hear you," he finally muttered.
I smiled a little. "Good."
My eyes lifted to the ceiling when I leaned my head against the back cushion, feeling relieved for having gotten this over with.
"So … a girl, huh?" Cedric reiterated. If I didn't know any better, I'd say he was calming down a bit.
My smile broadened. "Yup."
He thought quietly on the other end. "Wow … the first baby of the family."
With it only being the two of us and no cousins to speak of, Cedric was right. My daughter would be the first little one since Ced and I. I tried to imagine what she'd look like, blending Marco's attractive features with mine, smiling to myself.
"Well, just prepare yourself for some hardcore smothering when Mona and I meet her," he said, making me laugh a little.
"I welcome it."
He laughed, too, and all felt right again.
There was a brief pause and then Ced came back with his offer. "I need you to make me a promise, though." His voice was somber, but not angry.
"What's that?" I asked.
"Promise me you'll keep Atlanta in mind. If things get too hard; if this guy doesn't come through for you. I know he's talking a good game for now, but no one will take care of you like family, Brynn. Don't forget that."
When I didn't answer, he called my name and made me promise I wouldn't rule it out as a possibility. The situation with St. Ann's and my contract popped into my head and so did Mona's previous invitation to move me in if things didn't pan out well. So, while I wasn't expecting Marco to flake on me, there were other possible causes for relocation, other outside influences that could eventually force my hand.
"I'll keep it in mind," was all I said back. My eyes went to the clock on my bookcase and I let my brother's words settle on my heart, but hopefully, it would never come to that.
Chapter Eleven
Brynn
Scrolling through my email messages had become my daily lunch routine. Desperation was setting in as I waited to hear back from even one of the schools I'd applied with. No one emailed, no one called, and I was running out of time.
At five months in, even walking the halls made me nervous. This pregnancy was becoming harder to hide by the day and I wasn't even sure I was still hiding it all that well. There'd been a couple awkward glances at my stomach when I couldn't wiggle my way out of small talk with other staff members. I'd resorted to keeping folders in my hands or my purse-anything I could use as a shield just in case I needed a quick cover. I wouldn't be able to keep this up much longer. Something had to give.
"All right. Pass your papers to the end of your row and I'll come by to pick them up," I announced, preparing to collect the last assignment for the day.
My class was amazing this year, which was a blessing in disguise. I definitely knew how to handle difficult kids, but I was eternally grateful that wasn't the case this time around. Each one of them was well behaved and respectful-a lot coming from a room full of six-year olds.
"Here you go, Ms. Palmer," came a small voice, that of my little savior, Izzy. Before I could even get out of my seat, she'd gone around and collected the papers so I wouldn't have to.
I smiled at her and at that very moment, a gentle inward thump startled me and I placed a hand on my stomach. Apparently, my expression changed and concerned Izzy because she quickly asked if I was okay.
Not wanting to alarm her, I forced a smile. "Yes, sweetheart, I'm fine. Why don't you go to your seat and get your things together. It's almost time to go home."