She seemed to hold high regards for her folks. Family was everything to me, too, so this was something else the two of us had in common.
I downed the last of my juice and set the glass aside, finding Brynn's eyes fixed on me when I did. She didn't say anything, quickly averting her stare, but not before I caught her. I didn't read anything into it, but if I had to guess, she was just as surprised as I was that we were actually getting along. Considering the odds we had stacked against us, this was definitely progress.
The whole reason I came by was to discuss our situation, so I asked the question that hit me almost first thing this morning, before I even made it out of bed: "Do you plan on finding out the sex of the baby?"
She brought her warm, brown eyes back and her shoulders lifted into the air with a shrug. "I hadn't even thought that far ahead," she said with a soft laugh. Her gaze drifted down to her fingers as she spread them flat across the countertop. "To be honest, I've just been taking this whole thing one day at a time." The laugh faded to a dim smile. "I know most women are excited and counting down the days, but it's been … different for me. Different for us," she clarified, still looking away.
Her admission, and the look on her face when she said the words, was sobering to me. No, this pregnancy wasn't planned, but did that have to mean a dark cloud would hang over our heads the whole time? Did either one of us have to keep feeling like this?
My mother used to say something so simple to me when I was a kid. Back then the saying did nothing but piss me off every time I'd hear it, but that was because it was so basic, something I should have thought of myself. She'd say, ‘If you're tired of being unhappy, then be happy'. To her, it was all about your mindset. If you wanted things to change, wanted them to be better, then just change your perspective. Maybe that's what Brynn and I needed to do-change our perspective, change how we came at this thing.
If something so simple could actually work for us, I didn't mind being the one to get us started.
We had never made physical contact. Well, scratch that … we hadn't made physical contact either of us could remember. Because of that, Brynn stiffened when I touched her hand. We didn't quite know one another well enough for me to go into detail about my childhood, but the way I came up definitely affected the way I intended to parent. I had my reasons for wanting to make it clear that this kid had me for life. It didn't matter that Brynn and I weren't together. I had just as much stake in this as she did.
"Listen, I know we got off on the wrong foot and all, but … I'm in this. All the way," I assured her. "If you have an appointment; I'm there. If you start feeling sick and need someone to take you to the hospital; I'm there. When the crazy food cravings start hitting you and you don't feel like getting out of bed to make your own peanut butter and ketchup sandwich," I paused when she burst out laughing, "I'll be there for that, too. Just … call," I added. "For real. I got you."
And I meant every word of that.
When I removed my hand, Brynn's fingers curled into a loose fist on the counter, but she didn't pull it away. She was thinking hard, a fact made clear by the tension in her brow. We were in this together whether we liked it or not. As unsure and scared as I was, I was positive she felt all of that ten times worse.
"Thank you," she breathed. "I really appreciate you saying all of that."
"I'm not just saying it, Brynn," I corrected. "I mean it. If you need something, I'm here for you. You should never have to call anyone but me."
A slow nod accompanied her thoughtful expression, an expression that preceded a question. "What changed your mind?" she asked, meeting my gaze again. "Was it just finding out for sure that he or she is yours?"
I gave her question some thought and nodded, still feeling like a dick for putting her on hold for those two weeks after she first told me. "Yeah … I just needed to know. I've seen dudes get emotionally invested in kids that ended up being some other man's," I explained. "I apologize if I hurt your feelings, though."
She did that sexy thing with her lip again-clamped it between her teeth for a second before speaking. "You really don't need to apologize again," she said. "This baby has me all in my feelings all the time, so I'm sure that was some of it. Plus, like I said before, I had some other stuff going on that day, so that wasn't all supposed to be directed at you," she explained. "So, I'm sorry, too."
I waved her off. "Don't be. We're cool."
When the conversation between us went silent, I stared at her and a strange feeling hit me. I started thinking this, us getting along, us getting through this, might actually be much easier than I once thought possible.
Needing something to say to make the way I watched her seem relatively natural, I went back to my original question.
"So when do we go find out if I'mma be using my Louisville Slugger to teach my son to play ball or using it to scare fools away from my daughter?"
Brynn laughed, soft, easy. I liked the sound of it. "The next ultrasound appointment is in three weeks-as soon as I turn four months."
I made a mental note of the info. "And you're cool with me being in there with you, right? I mean … ‘cause I'd like to be."
That pretty smile came back when she answered my question. "I'm definitely cool with that."
Chapter Eight
Marco
Helping with dinner was never as simple as just showing up and getting started. There always seemed to be a mandatory, last minute grocery run involved, too. This time, we were short on green bananas for the alcapurrias, so I ended up back at the same grocery store I stopped at to get Brynn's flowers earlier. I grabbed a bag and headed toward the front of the store to check out.
Lines were almost always long on Sundays because of sales and people stocking up for the week. Today was no different. While I waited, my mind went back to the conversation I had earlier with Brynn and I felt much better about everything now that we had a chance to talk. She knew where I stood; I knew where she stood. We'd get through this.
Now that the air was clear, a small part of me was starting to get excited. Just a little. Knowing me, as soon as we found out the sex, I'd be buying up clothes for the kid left and right. I hadn't been around a baby since my niece, Isobel, was born, but I remembered the extreme need I felt to protect her. I could only imagine I'd be at least that bad when my own finally got here.
"What's got you smiling all hard?" came a soft voice off to my right, making me aware of the expression on my face. I glanced that way and paused, surprised by who stood beside me. Long, brown hair with gold streaked through it cascaded over Elena's shoulders and it was like time had stood still. She looked exactly the same as last time we ran into each other years ago. Her bronze-toned cheeks had a twinge of pink spreading beneath them.
"Oh wow! What's up? How've you been?" I finally said, hearing the shock in my voice as I greeted the one and only woman I ever chased in my entire life. The soft skin of her bare arms went around my neck as she squeezed, holding me for a good five seconds. I hugged her back with my one free arm, the other still gripping the bag of bananas.
Elena stepped back and looked me over, letting her green eyes drag up my biceps and chest. For years, I tried to get at her, but, for whatever reason, she never gave in. We were the same age, but she was always one of those girls who was into older guys. So, she passed me up for dudes with money and cars-two things I didn't have back then.
Her folks used to own a house around the corner from my parents'. So even after me and my other two sisters went to stay with Lucia, I still visited the old neighborhood … mostly so I could see this girl.
"I've been good!" she answered, her eyes again trained on my chest. She drew in a breath and smiled like she hadn't been caught. "And you!" she said excitedly, gesturing toward me with her hand. "I heard you've been doing well, too. Word on the street is you got your own shop now. That true?"
I smiled back at her, but not nearly as big as she did. "It is. Been in business for a little while."
"Fantastico! Good for you!" The corner of her mouth twitched with a smile and the red in her cheeks deepened even more. "And uh … you're still doing your other thing, too?"
I laughed a bit, rubbing my hand across my chin when I nodded. "Yeah, I'm still there, too."
"Indecent Exposure, right?"
"You've got a good memory."
She glanced away, grinning, looking everywhere but at me. The line moved up a foot or two and Elena followed, although she wasn't ready to check out. Her empty cart told me so.