As we walked, I began to recognize some things, and he finally stopped in front of a door. He swiped his key and we walked inside.
It was the greenhouse room from the other day, the one with the statue of Condita Barone. It was the same humid atmosphere, the same plants all over. We had come in through a different entrance, but I recognized it as soon as we were in there.
He led me to the central part of the room, where the statue was, and sat down on a small bench. I stayed standing in front of him.
“Why are we here?” I asked.
“No cameras,” he said. “Nobody is watching or listening.”
“Are they really always watching?”
“Yeah, they’re always watching you. Can you blame them?”
That annoyed me. “Yeah, I can. You’re the father of my son. You’d think they’d back off now that the test came back.”
He shrugged. “You’re still the daughter of our enemy.”
“Fine. Is that all you brought me here for, just to make me feel guilty?”
He shook his head and stretched his arm along the back of the bench. “You don’t need to feel guilty.”
“Hard not to when people are dying because of me.”
He barked a laugh. “Remember what Arturo said? None of this is for you or because of you.”
“Still. It’s happening because of me.”
“Yeah. But it would have happened regardless of you. We’ve been on the edge of war with the Russians for a long time.”
I nodded once. “Fine. Okay. It’s not my fault.”
“Good.” He stared at me, and the memory of his mouth against my clit came rushing back. I glanced at the tree where he’d gotten me off and quickly looked back at him, trying to pretend like I wasn’t thinking about it.
But I didn’t think he noticed.
“I did bring you here for a reason,” he said. “I want to talk about Alex.”
“Okay. What do you want to say?”
“Look.” He cleared his throat. “I’m not exactly the fathering type, you know?”
“Okay,” I said, feeling nothing but dread. “I know that.”
“I don’t know what I can give this kid, you know?”
“I’m not asking anything from you, Vince,” I said. “Just protection until this all blows over.”
“Yeah, okay.” He looked pained, and I wanted to leave. “I’m just saying, I don’t know if I’ll be alive tomorrow, let alone able to raise a kid.”
“I understand that.”
“I love my life fast and hard, princess, but don’t think I’m just passing this off.”
“I don’t expect you to be around to change diapers, Vince,” I said quickly. “You don’t have to do this.”
“I’m going to provide for him and you,” he said. “I’ll give you money every month or something at least.”
“I don’t need your money,” I said, harsher than I had intended. “I can take care of myself.”
“For the kid then,” he said. “Save it for college or something.”
“If that’s what you want to do with your money, I won’t stop you,” I said. “But I don’t expect or need anything from you. This is already enough.”
I meant every word I said to him. I really didn’t expect him to drop everything and become a father overnight. I knew what kind of man he was and how he lived his life, and I knew that Alexei didn’t fit into his plans.
But hearing him say it hurt. It felt like he was rejecting me, and worse, he was rejecting his own son. It felt like he wanted to toss me aside and use his money to somehow make himself feel better.
And as much as I wanted to storm away, I still needed him. The way he looked at me with that pained expression only made me want to kiss him that much more. It was so messed up, but I couldn’t help myself. I knew Vince wasn’t a bad man, that deep down inside him he was a decent guy, or at least the sort of man that protected the people he cared about. But it still hurt to be rejected, and I wanted to storm out of there.
I wasn’t going to do that, though. I wasn’t going to give him more reasons to want to abandon Alexei. Even if he didn’t want anything to do with me, I needed to be on good terms with him for Alexei’s sake.
I crossed my arms and waited for him to say something else, but he didn’t.
“Is that it?” I asked, finally breaking the silence.
“Yeah, guess so.”
“Do what you want, Vince. I’m not forcing anything on you.”
“Sure.”
I gave him a look and then turned and quickly walked away. I pushed open the door and left as fast as I could, hoping he mistook my fast exit for anger and not for hurt.