Man of the House(102)

“My Chinese contact says we need a hundred grand to get the guns out of customs. I got fifty, but I need another fifty.”

Lucas nodded. “I’ll ask my father.”

“Good. I can repay it, but it’ll take time. I had planned on flipping these guns.”

“I know,” Lucas said. “We appreciate your help.”

“You fucking better.”

He laughed. “Shit, after you took down a Russian hit squad, I think everyone has a lot of respect for you right now.”

“What about the girl?” I asked.

“What about her?”

“She’s still going to be protected?”

“As far as I know, she is.” Lucas shrugged and leaned up against the wall. “Helps that the kid is really yours.”

“Fuck,” I said. “I know.”

“How’s it feel to be a dad?”

“Strange,” I said honestly. “I don’t really feel anything about it.”

“Yeah, you might not at first. Might take you a bit.”

“Not sure I want it to.”

Lucas frowned and didn’t say anything right away. Two years ago, Lucas would have felt exactly the same as I did. But now that he had Natalie and his kids, he was like a different guy.

“Listen,” he said. “You don’t want to be in this girl’s life? Fine, don’t. But that kid is your kid; you can’t walk from that.”

“I don’t plan on walking,” I said, annoyed. “Thanks for the advice, Saint Lucas.”

“Fuck you,” he said. “I’m trying to help.”

“I’ll take care of the kid,” I said. “I’m just not father material.”

“Yeah,” he grunted. “None of us are.” He patted me on the shoulder. “I’ll get the money.”

“Good.”

He nodded and then turned and headed off down the hall.

I watched him go for a second, and then my thoughts turned back to Kaley.

The idea of becoming a father in the middle of a violent war made no sense to me. I could be killed at any moment, my life snuffed out in blood and death. Kaley needed something serious and substantial if she was going to raise Alexei right, and I didn’t think I could provide that.

I was a mobster. I lived my life fast and violent, and that was all I knew. I had no idea how to be a father, or if I even could be a father.

I’d give her money, as much money as I could. Maybe I’d even put it in my will so that she got everything I had if I got killed. But what else could I do?

I wasn’t a role model. I couldn’t be that type of father for Alex, even if he was half me.

Frustrated, I went back into the office. Rafa glanced up as I walked past him, but he didn’t say anything. I sat down at my desk, leaned back in my chair, and closed my eyes.

What else could I fucking do? I wanted to keep Kaley safe and close. I wanted to help raise Alex.

But I lived life my own damn way and always would.





21





Kaley





Sonya was changing Alex when there was a knock at my door. I walked over and opened it, assuming it was the food I had ordered not long ago.

“Hi, princess,” Vince said.

I looked at him, mildly surprised. “What are you doing here?”

“Thought you’d come for a walk.”

“I have to watch Alex,” I said.

“No, you don’t,” Sonya called out from the other room.

Vince grinned at me. “See? Come on.”

“Vince,” I said, but he had already turned and started to walk away.

Annoyed, I went after him. I didn’t want to get treated like a jerk again, like he had treated me earlier that morning. He looked a little bit better, though I wished he didn’t have that shirt on. I definitely preferred him bare-chested and laughing at me. His dirty grins and his body drove me wild.

“What do you want?” I asked him.

“Just to talk.”

“You didn’t seem like you wanted to talk earlier.”

“Yeah, well,” he said, “I’d had a long night and you woke me up.”

“Fine,” I said. “What do you want to talk about?”

“Come on,” he said. “We’ll get to that.”

I bit my lip but kept following him, not sure where he was taking me. I wanted to stay pissed at him for earlier, but there was just something so magnetic about him. And besides, I wanted to be on good terms with him, if at least because he was Alexei’s father.

But more than that, I wanted to be on good terms with him because he made me feel so good. I couldn’t explain it, but every cocky grin drove me absolutely wild. He should have been everything I despised, just another arrogant, mafia asshole, but he wasn’t. He sent thrills down my spine every time I was around him, made my head dizzy, my whole body buzzing with need for him.