I smile, letting out a sigh of relief. It’s all coming back to me now, and I am so glad I didn’t do anything I would regret.
“Wipe off the giddy grin, Mia. Declan called me this morning.”
I bring my hand up to my mouth, suppressing a gasp.
“At first he was on the verge of hysterics and then, after he explained why he was calling me, from freaking Hong Kong, he calmed down and became a rational human being. A little too rational if you ask me. He actually used the phrase ‘If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you...blah, blah, blah. What did you do, Mia? Better yet, why did you do it?”
My first instinct is to cry, the hot tears threatening to explode from my weary eyes. This is just too much all at once, especially while fighting a major hangover. But my need to cry quickly turns into a hot-tempered anger. Who the hell is she to meddle like this? To decide what’s right or wrong? I’m a grown woman, and I can make my own decisions now.
“Oh Grace, please, don’t even think about scolding me. You gonna go tell my father now? I know what I did and I’m not sorry. You have no idea what I’ve been going through. I’ve been alone...for months! He cheated on me. He made me doubt everything I was so sure of! He started this whole damn thing and now, because I’m second guessing things, I’m the bad guy? No, I won’t listen to you tell me that.” I am in tears. I know that, to her, I probably just sound like a child ranting about wanting to have my way, but this is how I truly feel.
She hands me the paper she’s been holding. The incessant folding and bending has created a million and one little creases. “Well then, here you go. Looks like you got yourself a boyfriend. All your dreams are about to come true.” The sarcasm in her tone could put Chandler freaking Bing to shame.
What is she talking about now? I stare at the tiny, crinkled note in disbelief.
It’s from Noah.
Mia,
Please call me when you get this. I’ll be worried sick until you do. You were pretty trashed...please don’t hate me for calling your friend, but I didn’t know what else to do. Last night was incredible...my only regret is that it took over ten years to get there. As much as I tried I couldn’t “save the night” and that’s why I have to see you again. I know you’re going through a tough time and I don’t want to make things more complicated, but...just call me.
Love, Noah
I read the letter over and over, at least ten times. It’s a lot to process, but somewhere in the jumble of mixed up conversations from last night I remember talking to Noah about something like this—spending more time together, the future. He wanted to see me again. I agreed. So what do I do now? I’m not exactly in the position to jump into a full-fledged relationship. The idea of dating while still married sounds ridiculous. Wrong.
I turn to Grace, completely confused. “You think I’m nuts, don’t you?”
She shakes her head, springing out of her seat to pace the floor. She yanks the note out of my hand, taking it with her as she refills her coffee mug. “Honestly, Mia. Did you plan this? Did you go to the reunion with intentions of hooking up with Noah to get back at Declan?”
I know it must look that way, but that was never my objective. And the idea that Grace could think that little of me really hurts. “Of course not! I can’t believe you would think that. I don’t know how many times I need to explain it to you...Declan fucked this all up. Not me.
“Sure, things seemed okay for a night or two before he left for the trip, but with all this time to think... Declan was right, there was a disconnection and it happened long before I stepped foot in that reunion . Even if nothing had happened with Noah, I still would have called Declan and told him the same thing. I’m not ready to pretend that all’s forgiven, Grace. It’s not even the cheating that stings the most—it’s that he gave up on us. He did it because I wasn’t fulfilling some type of need...whether it was physical or emotional, who the hell knows, but either way that’s the crime here...that he turned his back on me, his family, and took matters into his own hands without even consulting me.
“Now I’m taking matters into my hands, and it has nothing to do with retaliation. There was something there last night with Noah, something that’s been a long time coming. You of all people should know what this means to me. In high school he was all I could talk about and in my adult life he’s all I dream about. Maybe that’s been a sign all along. Declan did make me very happy once upon a time, but he found a way to turn the fairytale into a nightmare. Maybe I should I have listened to my gut when I felt like running scared on my wedding day. But I didn’t and today, in the here and now, I need to go with my gut and follow through with Noah. I’m can’t ignore it this time, so you can call me crazy, tell me I’m a bitch…but I need to see where this goes.”