Objectively, I shouldn’t touch Eric to begin with because he is the enemy who made me question my existence.
Turns out I don’t do well with objective thinking. None of that matters. What matters is he told me I am perfect. What matters is he told me I am a fever in his veins. What matters is we both collide with one another, no matter how twisted this entire situation gets.
“He fucks all his clients’ wives.” Lily yells at me over the phone. “This is his whole game plan, Kate. He sleeps with you and then he uses the evidence to prove you’re trash. You had a leg up on him with the video in your possession, but now you keep sleeping with him.”
“You told me to do it in the first place! Remember, you told me to!”
“I told you to stop acting like this was some junior high crush. It’s revenge. Why the fuck are you still screwing around with him?”
I have nothing to say to this except “it’s different”. There’s no way he tells every woman he sleeps with they are perfect. There’s no way he shows up at their apartment door, feverish and disheveled, so he can kiss her before words are spoken.
“I know it doesn’t make sense, but I can feel it, Lily. When we are together, the connection is real. The connection is unlike anything I’ve ever had before.”
“You’re romanticizing his cock. Stop it. You’ve had David’s puny dick for too many years and you’re just now realizing what else is out there. Do not marry the first big dick you come across, Kate. It’ll end in another divorce.”
“I never said that word. Why, after everything, would I say that word? I’m just saying it’s complicated and I can’t let go.”
“Because you don’t want to.”
“Exactly.”
Lily sighs heavily. I drain the tub and slide into a robe in the silence, wondering if I really was the problem. Somehow, I ended up more confused than ever before. Nothing in my life can be easy.
“When was the last time you saw him?”
“Almost a week ago.”
“When was the last time you talked to him?”
“I don’t know.” I lie. Yesterday. We last spoke yesterday. “It’s not like we spend all night on the phone or text each other all day.”
“Dirty pictures?”
“Maybe.”
“Oh, yeah. This sounds like true love to me.”
“Stop it.” I scowl at the phone. “This is important to me, Lily. He’s important to me.”
“He is a sexual revolution and nothing more. As your best friend, it’s my duty to—”
A hard, imposing knock on the door echoes through my apartment. I toss off a quick goodbye and hang up on Lily before she can say anything else, and all but float to the door. I’m nothing but full body tingles and excitement.
Forget all the mess. I just want to get lost in Eric. We’ll call it one more time. For now.
Although, if Vivian really is checking up on me, she will absolutely murder me if she catches me with him. Another mental scale of good versus bad decisions weighs before me as another knock hits my door.
Maybe I should behave. Maybe I should say goodbye. For now. We can always reconnect after the divorce has been finalized, right? This would prove that we’re more than just occasional fuck buddies.
Except it’s not Eric outside my door.
“I’ve missed seeing you like this.” The voice that makes my skin crawl murmurs. David walks right into my apartment. “Robe, hair piled on top of your head. It’s very sexy.”
His words are like poison to my skin. “What do you want, David?”
“For you.” He presents a bouquet of pink roses. “A token of apology. I know I need more than that, but it’s a start.”
I don’t touch them. They could be laced with something.
“Look. I’m an idiot. A first-class idiot. I know you know this. I just want to tell you that you’re right and I’m sorry.” David wipes tears from his eyes. “I have been so lost without you, Kate. Nothing feels real anymore. I’ve tried to fill your void in my life and nothing compares.”
I snort at this, but quietly. Seeing him cry is… unnerving.
“Please, Kate, let’s talk this out. I love you. I miss you. I need you. I was a dumbass and I will apologize on my knees for the rest of my life. Please, take me back.”
“David.” I struggle to find words because I can’t even comprehend what I’m seeing right now. “You can’t just come in here, after everything that’s happened, and expect me to take you back. I’m done. We are done.”
“Please, Kate.” His voice drops to a whisper, teary streams turn to rivers on his cheeks. “Just talk to me. One drink to let me plead my case. Please.”