Making His Baby(59)

I can’t make Carrie leave. I love her, and if I push her away, I would regret it for the rest of my life. And I’ve been focusing on the wrong parts of Carrie’s confessions to me. She told me she loves me. I just wasn’t in the right frame of mind to hear it.





Chapter 46


CARRIE





I love Blake, and he doesn’t love me. That’s all I can think about. My head, shoved into my pillow to soak up tears as they fall, is clouded with these terrible thoughts.

I have been crying all night, and now, all morning. I can’t stop. Not only did I sleep in the spare room last night, but I will have to sleep here until the baby is born. Maybe I should just go home? But if I do that, then I won’t be near Blake, and I can’t pull myself away. I love him too much.

I should have told him everything when I first found out. I should have asked him about my sister and the pregnancy and let him explain his side of the story. If I did, then I would have learned that she was never pregnant, that everything I thought about him was wrong. If I had, I would be in his bed right now, wrapped in his arms.

I think I hear a knock at the door, but I decide that I am just imagining it. Blake would not be coming to talk to me. Odds are, he will avoid me for the rest of the pregnancy and then kick me out the moment the baby is born.

There’s another knock. It’s louder this time.

“Yes?” I call. Perhaps it is Christina coming in to ask me to leave. I do my best to hide the sound of crying as I pull my face from the pillow.

“Carrie, it’s me. Can I come in?” It’s Blake.

I sit up quickly and do the best I can to wipe away my tears and make it look as if I haven’t spent the last twelve hours bawling out my eyes.

“Sure,” I call back. “Come in.”

He opens the door and walks inside. He looks at me, and I can see the pain on his face. It makes my heart skip a little, the idea that this hasn’t been as easy for him as I thought. Clearly, he too has been hurting.

“How are you?” He asks, his voice soft. He walks further into the room and hovers by the end of my bed.

“Miserable,” I say. “How about you?”

“Yeah, I’ve been better.”

“Me too,” I say as I force a smile. “A lot better.”

“Carrie, may I sit down?” He asks.

“Of course.”

He sits down on the edge of the bed, keeping his distance. “I’m sorry. I am. I should never have reacted like that last night, and I should have never made you leave the room. And I definitely shouldn’t have implied that you and I were over.”

“You’re sorry?” I ask, unable to hide my surprise. “I’m the one who should be saying sorry. I’m the one who lied and meant to hurt you.”

“Hey,” he says, and as he does, he puts his hand on my knee. “Don’t, okay. You had your reasons for doing that. And talking about it now isn’t going to change that. But you also said, if I remember correctly, that you changed your mind?”

“I did! I have!” I exclaim. “Seriously. You have no idea how stupid I feel for even thinking of doing that.”

“Hey. What did I just say?” He smiles at me. It’s a warm smile, and I can feel it radiate through my entire body. It gives me energy and life. “We don’t need to talk about it anymore. It’s not important. The only thing that is important is that I love you.”

“You love me?” I ask. I heard the words, but I am scared that I misunderstood. Or that it is a lie, aimed at hurting me.

“Yes, I love you.”

“I love you, too,” I say, resting my hand on top of his own.

For a second, the two of us stare at one another. I look into his eyes, and he into mine. I feel him inside of me. I can feel his love enveloping me.

He leans forward. I lean in too and kiss him. It’s a kiss like I have never felt. We have kissed a thousand times. We have had sex almost as many times. We have even made love before. But somehow, this kiss is different.

It’s raw and full of fire. It is both of us saying that we are sorry and both of us accepting that apology.

We kiss and kiss. His hands wrap around my waist and pull me in closer. I shuffle in and wrap my legs around him, straddling him. I press my breasts against his chest and feel his heart beat a million times a minute. I feel his warm breath on me as he kissed down my neck, licks my ear and nibbles me.

His cock stirs beneath me, pressing up between my legs. I move my hips forward and back, rubbing myself on it. It shakes and pulsates with each of my movements.

Raising my hands in the air, I allow for him to remove my shirt. I’m in my pajamas, so I don’t have a bra on. He buries his head in my breasts. He licks my right nipple before sucking the tight bud into his mouth. I undo his shirt and return the favor to him. His right nipple hardens in my mouth. His left stiffens as I pinch it.