“Yep. There’s a bit of a selection so obviously we can’t…” She trails off as her eyes begin to wander through the titles.
I watch her for a second before I to turn to the shelf. I look up and down the stacks, vaguely reading the titles. They all sound kind of the same to me. The one right in front of my face reads The Nine Best Things to Know about Being Pregnant, while the one right next to that reads All The Things You Need to Know about Being Pregnant.
“I am out of my element,” I say.
I really am. The two books sound exactly the same, and as I look over the others, they are all in the same vein.
Luckily, Carrie looks as if she knows what she is doing. She reaches forward, pulling out two identical books. She hands them to me, and I take them. Before I have a chance to read the titles, she hands me two more, and two more after that.
“Do we really need all these?” I ask as she hands me more and more.
“You can’t be too prepared,” she says enthusiastically.
I smile down at her. Her enthusiasm is infectious. Although I was a little hesitant about all this homework, her eagerness for it has very quickly changed my mind. I am starting to warm to the idea of it. Being a father isn’t just about raising a child once they are born. But about everything before that as well.
“You’re totally right,” I say. “The more the merrier.”
“Really?” She asks in surprise.
“Of course. Now, where is the counter? Let’s buy these so we can start right away.”
She pauses and looks up at me. I can see that she is trying to decide if I am being serious or sarcastic. She sees how serious I am, she smiles, stands on her tiptoes, and kisses me on the lips. We are in this together, and I am now beyond excited about the process. All of it.
Chapter 36
CARRIE
I am so happy. The last few days have been a dream. No, not even a dream, for I have never had dreams that even come close to matching what I am feeling right now.
Blake is leading me through the lobby of his hotel and to his car, parked out front. He is doing this, not because he is taking me back to my place after what has been an amazing weekend, but because he is taking me back to his own house.
We spent the weekend together. Saturday night was spent at my apartment. We made love all night. It was deep and passionate and the best sex we ever had. Then on Sunday, he asked me to stay at his hotel with him. I said yes. Again, we made love, and again, it was beyond incredible.
This morning, when we woke up, he asked me if I wanted to stay at his place for the remainder of the pregnancy. I didn’t even hesitate in saying yes. Why would I?
“You’re going to love the next nine months,” he says as he opens the car door for me. I slide into the passenger seat and smile as I watch him walk around the car and jump in. “Seriously, if you thought that one week you stayed with me was special, you haven’t seen anything yet.”
“Oh, yeah?” I laugh. I love his boyish enthusiasm. “And why is that?”
“Just ‘cause,” he says with a wink. He turns on the car, switches into first, and takes off down the road toward his house. No, toward our house.
“Wait,” I suddenly yell, grabbing his arm. “The books? I didn’t see you pack the baby books.”
“I did last night while you slept,” he says reassuringly. He reaches out and strokes my leg. “Don’t worry, I’m not going to forget those.”
Blake has been incredible with the books. When I first suggested that we buy them, he seemed less than enthused. But then, he did a full one-eighty and has now read more than me. Every day, I have caught him reading, and even before we fall asleep, he devours a few chapters. Seriously, his enthusiasm is beyond anything I expected.
It’s because of this that I know he is going to be an incredible father. I think at first, he thought that his job was done until the baby came. But now that he has realized that it’s only just beginning, he is attacking it with gusto. I can’t keep up.
“You really are something else,” I say. I look at him, catch his eyes, and smile warmly. He smiles back.
“So are you.”
I don’t know what I am going to do now. Last week, it seemed so simple. Have the baby, take it with me and never talk to Blake again. Done and done. But now, I don’t think I can. I don’t even think I want to. He keeps proving himself to me. He keeps showing me that he is in this for the long haul, and that he is going to be a great father. And I know that he is going to be.
I tell myself each night that soon he will mess up and make a mistake. That this will make it easy for me to say goodbye and not feel guilty. But I watch his face and that smile as he drives the car home, and I just don’t know anymore. I am starting to believe that he didn’t do what Lyndsey said.