“Whatever,” I say as I shake my head.
But as I take another sip, watching Ben out of the corner of my eye, I can’t help but hate how much he knows me. And worse than that, I can’t help but hate how on the money he is.
Despite what I tell myself, I’d be lying if I don’t admit that I have feelings for Carrie. Ones that I can’t explain, no matter how hard I try.
Chapter 14
CARRIE
I’m sitting at my laptop, staring at the screen in shock, my mouth hanging open. I look at the page several times, and each time that I do, I become more and more convinced that what I am seeing isn’t true. It can’t be? And yet, there is no way that it isn’t.
I woke up with thoughts of Lyndsey. Even though I wasn’t adopted into her family until I was eight, she always did her best to make me feel like I belonged. For that, I was forever grateful and could never thank her enough.
So, as I lay in bed, I decided to do something that I hadn’t done since she had died. I was going to delete her Facebook page. Her parents, well, my adoptive parents, asked me to handle the technical side of things concerning Lyndsey’s death and I readily agreed. Closing her Facebook account may seem like a small thing, but to me, it is a huge deal. It’s an admission that she is gone. Forever.
I hadn’t so much as touched it since she passed as she hardly used it, and now, it is like I am erasing her. But it has to be done. For closure, if nothing else.
But before I deleted it, I decided to go through her old photos, and that was when I saw him. Photos of Blake, a much younger Blake, plastered throughout an album of her high school memories before Facebook. As I devoured each photo, I very slowly began to realize who Blake is.
He is Lyndsey’s ex-boyfriend. The two dated in high school and broke up just before college. I never met the guy, but I knew of him. One thing in particular, I remember it like it was yesterday. Lyndsey came to me in tears. She told me that she had gotten pregnant by Blake. But that wasn’t why she was crying. She was crying because she said that he dumped her once she told him she was pregnant. She then had a miscarriage and to cope with the sadness she started drinking and doing drugs, which spiraled out of control over time. Her twenties were spent in and out of rehab. My sister had only just got her life back on track when she died.
I sit at my laptop, still staring at her Facebook page. I can’t believe that it is him. I should have known that he knew Lyndsey, as the two went to the same high school and were in the same year, but I never made the connection.
And now, he wants me to have his baby. The irony isn’t lost on me one little bit.
What is odd is how torn I am by the whole thing. On the one hand, a part of me has hated this man since that day Lyndsey came to me. I used to lie awake and plot what I would do if I ever came across him in real life. The revenge I would seek. But now, I don’t know what to do. I like him. I do. But do I like him enough?
Sure, he’s handsome and sweet, but he hurt my sister. He broke her apart, and from that, she never recovered. Despite my feelings for the guy, I just don’t know if I can go through with what he wants.
I seethe as more and more memories come back to me. That day in particular, as my sister wept on the floor of my bedroom. Lost in the moment, I come up with a plan, a delightfully devilish one that my sister would be proud of.
I am going to have his baby. And I will take his money. But when I do, I will also take the baby with me. I will disappear off the map and raise the baby as my own, in honor of Lyndsey. Yes, that’s all I can do. It’s what I have to do.
The moment the plan settles in, I pick up my phone and text Blake, “I’ll do it.” I know that if I don’t, I will chicken out. The text goes through, and I stare at my phone, wondering if I have done the right thing. Yes, I have.
It’s as I stare at my phone that it suddenly vibrates in my hand. It’s Blake calling me. I consider not answering. I don’t know if I can speak to him right now. But cooler heads prevail and I do.
“Hello,” I say.
“Do you mean it?” He asks on the other end of the line.
“I do,” I say.
Despite myself, I can’t help but smile.
“Amazing!” he says. “I’m looking forward to making a baby with you.”
“Oh yeah?” I say coyly. “Make? I thought we were going to do an insemination type thing?”
“We could do that, I suppose,” he says, sounding as if he is thinking on it. “But where is the fun in that?”
“I didn’t know this was for fun,” I say. As I do, I stand and walk over to my bed, sitting on the end of it.