“Not now, Sol, I’m tired. Did Shirl say anything about when she would be back?”
“Just what I told you …” He stopped and listened to the sound of footsteps coming down the hall. They stopped—and there was a light knocking on the door.
Andy was there first, twisting at the knob, tearing the door open.
“Shirl!” he said. “Are you all right?”
“Yes, sure—I’m fine.”
He held her to him, tightly, almost cutting off her breath. “With the riots—I didn’t know what to think,” he said. “I just came in a little while ago myself. Where have you been? What happened?”
“I just wanted to get out for a while, that’s all.” She wrinkled her nose. “What’s that funny smell?”
He stepped away from her, anger welling up through the fatigue. “I caught some of my own puke gas and heaved up. It’s hard to get off. What do you mean that you wanted to get out for a while?”
“Let me get my coat off.”
Andy followed her into the other room and closed the door behind them. She was taking a pair of high-heeled shoes out of the bag she carried and putting them into the closet. “Well?” he said.
“Just that, it’s not complicated. I was feeling trapped in here, with the shortages and the cold and everything, and never seeing you, and I felt bad about the fight we had. Nothing seemed to be going right. So I thought if I dressed up and went to one of the restaurants where I used to go, just have a cup of kofee or something, I might feel better. A morale booster, you know.” She looked up at his cold face, then glanced quickly away.
“Then what happened?” he asked.
“I’m not in the witness box, Andy. Why the accusing tone?”
He turned his back and looked out the window. “I’m not accusing you of anything, but—you were out all night. How do you expect me to feel?”
“Well, you know how bad it was yesterday, I was afraid to come back. I was up at Curley’s—”
“The meateasy?”
“Yes, but if you don’t eat anything it’s not expensive. It’s just the food that costs. I met some people I knew and we talked, they were going to a party and invited me and I went along. We were watching the news about the riots on TV and no one wanted to get out, so the party just went on and on. That’s about all, a lot of people stayed overnight and so did I.” She slipped off her dress and hung it up, then put on wool slacks and a heavy sweater.
“Is that all you did, just spend the night?”
“Andy, you’re tired. Why don’t you get some sleep? We can talk about this some other time.”
“I want to talk about it now.”
“Please, there’s nothing more to be said….”
“Yes there is. Whose apartment was it?”
“No one you know. He’s not a friend of Mike’s, just someone I used to see at parties.”
“He?” The silence stretched tight, until Andy’s question snapped it. “Did you spend the night with him?”
“Do you really want to know?”
“Of course I want to know. What do you think I’m asking you for? You slept with him, didn’t you?”
“Yes.”
The calmness of her voice, the suddenness of her answer stopped him, as though he had asked the question hoping to get another answer. He groped for the words to express what he felt and, finally, all he could ask was “Why?”
“Why?” This single word opened her lips and spilled out the cold anger. “Why? What other choice did I have? I had dinner and drinks and I had to pay for it. What else do I have to pay with?”
“Stop it, Shirl, you’re being….”
“I’m being what? Truthful? Would you let me stay here if I didn’t sleep with you?”
“That’s different!”
“Is it?” She began to tremble. “Andy, I hope it is, it should be—but I just don’t know any more. I want us to be happy, I don’t know why we fight. That’s not what I want. But things seem to be going so wrong. If you were here, if I was with you more …”
“We settled that the other night. I have my work—what else can I do?”
“Nothing else, I suppose, nothing …” She clasped her fingers together to stop their shaking. “Go to sleep now, you need the rest.”
She went into the other room and he did not stir until the door clicked shut. He started to follow her, then stopped and sat on the edge of the bed. What could he say to her? Slowly he pulled off his shoes and, fully dressed, stretched out and pulled the blanket over him.