“Good morning—” she said, and could think of nothing else to say, but just stood there in the doorway, trying not to gape. Sol was sitting on a wheelless bicycle, going nowhere—but going at a tremendous rate, his gray hair flying in all directions and his beard bobbing up and down on his chest as he pedaled. His single garment was a pair of ancient and much-patched shorts. The squealing sound came from a black object at the rear of the bicycle. “Good morning!” she called again, louder this time, and he glanced up at her and his pedaling slowed to a stop. “I’m Shirl Greene,” she said.
“And who else could you be,” Sol said coldly, climbing down from the bike and wiping the sweat from his face with his forearm.
“I’ve never seen a bicycle like that before. Does it do something?” She wasn’t going to fight with him, no matter how much he wanted to.
“Yeah. It makes ice.” He went to put his shirt on.
At first she thought it was one of these deep jokes, the kind she never understood, then she saw that wires led from the black motorlike thing behind the bike to a lot of big batteries on top of the refrigerator.
“I know,” she said, happy at her discovery. “You’re making the fridge go with the bike. I think that’s wonderful.” His only answer was a grunt this time, no remarks, so she knew she was making headway. “Do you like kofee?”
“I wouldn’t know. It’s been so long since I tasted any.”
“I’ve got a half a can in my bag. If we had some hot water we could make some.” She didn’t wait for an answer but went into the other room and got the can. He looked at the brown container for a moment, then shrugged and went to fill a pot with water.
“I bet it tastes like poison,” he said as he put the pot on the stove. First he turned on the hanging light in the middle of the room and studied the glowing filament in the bulb, then nodded begrudgingly. “Just for a change we got some juice today, so let’s hope it lasts long enough to boil a half inch of water.” He switched on the electric heating element of the stove.
“I’ve only been drinking kofee the last couple of years,” Shirl said, sitting in the chair by the window. “They tell me it doesn’t taste a thing like real coffee, but I wouldn’t know.”
“I can tell you. It don’t.”
“Have you ever tasted real coffee? More than once?” She had never met a man yet who didn’t enjoy telling about his experiences.
“Taste it? Honeybunch, I used to live on it. You’re a kid, you’ve got no idea how things used to be in the old days. You drank three, four cups, maybe even a whole pot of coffee and never even thought about it. I was even coffee poisoned once, my skin turned brown and everything, because I used to drink up to twenty cartons a day. A champion coffee drinker, I could of won medals.”
Shirl could only shake her head in admiration, then sipped at the kofee. It was still too hot. “I just remembered,” she said, jumping up from the chair and going into the other room. She was back in a moment and gave the two cigars to Sol. “Andy said I should give these to you, that you used to smoke them.”
Sol’s air of masculine superiority fell away and he almost gaped. “Cigars?” was all he could say.
“Yes, Mike had a box of them, but there were just these two left. I don’t know if they are any good or not.”
Sol groped for memory of the cigar ritual that had once controlled a judgment of this kind. He sniffed suspiciously at the end of one. “Smells like tobacco at least.” When he held it to his ear and pinched the smaller end there was a decided crackling sound. “Aha! Too dry. I might have known. You got to take care of cigars, keep them in the right climate. These are all dried out. They should be in a humidor. They can’t be smoked this way.”
“Do you mean they’re no good? We’ll have to throw them away?” It was a terrible thought.
“Nothing like that, relax. I’ll just take a box, put a wet sponge in it along with these stogies and wait three, four days. One thing about cigars, if they dry out you can bring them back to life just like Lazarus, or better maybe, he couldn’t have been smelling too good after being buried four days. I’ll show you how to take care of these.”
Shirl sipped her kofee and smiled. It was going to be all right. Sol just hadn’t liked the idea of someone coming to stay with Andy, it must have upset him. But he was a nice guy and had some funny stories and a funny, sort of old-fashioned way of talking, and she knew that they were going to get along.
“This stuff doesn’t taste too bad,” Sol said, “if you can forget what real coffee tastes like. Or Virginia ham, or roast beef, or turkey. Boy, could I tell you about turkey. It was during the war and I was stationed at the ass-end of Texas and all the food was sent out of St. Louis and we were right on the end of the supply line. What reached us was so bad I saw mess sergeants shudder when they opened the Gl cans the stuff was shipped in. But once, just once it worked the other way around. These Texans raise billions of turkeys down there on ranches, then ship them north for Christmas and Thanksgiving, you know.” She nodded, but she didn’t know. “Well, the war was on and there was no way to ship all these turkeys out, so the Air Corps bought them for next to nothing and that’s what we had to eat for about a month. I tell you! We had roast turkey, fried turkey, turkey soup, turkey burgers, turkey hash, turkey croquettes….”