I choke back the emotion in my voice as he stares down at me with confusion.
"I got harder. I reinvented myself so I was never that weak again. Friday, when you showed up here, I'd been in a meeting with him. Had just gotten home from a family reunion , so to speak. I took his company. I fucked with Jessie so that she and her mother turned against each other. I beat him." I point to my chest, tears leaking out. "And he still thinks I'm not good enough. I won, and he still thinks I'm nothing. I'm better than all of them, and he still sees me as the embarrassment he was forced to feed and shelter."
When a sob hiccups out of me, he tries to touch me again, his eyes soft now, but I bat his hands away, angrily swiping at tears when that precious separation is back between us.
"I won," I say hollowly, the tears leaking harder. "And he still broke me down. He still made me feel like I was never relevant. As though my very existence was a futile mistake overlooked by the grand design of the universe. I was still nothing."
"Harley," he says, his voice ragged and full of sympathy. Fuck that sympathy. "I didn't know."
"Stop," I growl when he tries to move closer.
The frustration welling in his eyes tells me he's just barely restraining himself. I don't give a damn.
That's not true, but if I say it enough, maybe it will be.
I don't give a damn. I don't give a damn.
"You showed up, and instead of asking me anything, you had already decided I was guilty. You decided you knew me well enough to immediately draw the worst conclusion. It was a gallon of salt that landed a direct hit to the recent wounds. I don't want to live my life like my mother, chasing men who don't really care. I don't want to spend my life chasing a man like my father who will never see me as something more instead of less. I deserve more. I deserve to be seen as more."
I turn and start walking, and he tries to follow me. I turn back around, stopping him, and I flinch when he raises his hand. "Don't touch me."
His footsteps freeze.
"You think I'd hit you?" he asks, hurt in his tone.
I glare at him.
"Sucks to have someone you care about think the absolute worst of you, doesn't it?" I bite out, my tears growing feverish and painful.
His look softens again as he drags that hand through the top of his hair once more.
"Harley, I get it. I fucked up-"
"Lying about your kinky sex life for a shock factor-that's fucking up," I interrupt. "Forgetting to invite me to a party-that's fucking up. Assuming I'm a disgusting excuse for a human being and not even giving me the benefit of doubt-that's … unforgivable."
I turn and head for my bedroom, and I hear him following, his feet shuffling to catch up, which only urges me to walk faster.
"You lied about being at work. I overheard that conversation with Vivica about having her befriend someone-" I turn and face him as I step inside my room, and I grip the door as he stops at the threshold, knowing that's a line he doesn't need to cross at this moment. "And then I saw Britt," he goes on, blowing out a long breath, "talking to Vivica."
I shrug. "And? From there you decided I was so heartless as to use Britt? It was decided just like that?"
"I tried to call you, and-"
"I'm sorry I lied to you about what I was doing. I thought it was personal, and I wasn't sure I wanted you talking me out of it. Turns out, I didn't actually lie. The meeting ended up being just business as always with my father. But you've lied to me. I've taken it in stride. You owed me that much in return, if nothing else. In this relationship, you've deceived me more than I've deceived you."
With that, I slam the door in his face as my entire body starts to shake. I choke back the sounds of my sobs, crying silently as I hear him hesitating by the door.
"I'm sorry," he says quietly, the sound muffled by the wooden barrier between us. "So fucking sorry."
"Me too," I say quietly. "I'm sorry it was too good to be true."
I lock the door and go to the bathroom, numbly going through the motions of turning on the shower. I drop to the floor, staring at the sink as I hear the distinct sound of a car leaving.
Chapter 45
DALE
My fists close and open several times as I stare at her bedroom door, hearing the water turn on in the bathroom. Harley wouldn't dare let me hear her cry. She fought her tears with everything she had during the entire argument.
She hates crying.
She feels weak.
So I know that shower is to mask the sounds she's hiding.
And I hate myself right now. Hate how fucking stupid I was.
Finally, I turn and walk out, messaging Aunt Lisa as I go. She knows virtually everything worth knowing in Sterling Shore. Right down to what the elites had for lunch on a daily basis.
Maverick is waiting with a solemn look on his face when I finally get back outside.
"Sorry, man. I get where you're coming from. I had the same thoughts … drew the same conclusions as you," he tells me, trying to make me feel like less of a prick.
"Drive. I need to go somewhere."
"Silk?"
"No."
Aunt Lisa messages me back with everything I need to know as soon as I get in the car.
I tell Maverick where to take me. His brow furrows, but he doesn't ask questions.
I grab a hat from his backseat, pull it low over my eyes, and Maverick groans as he drops me off.
He doesn't bother asking questions as I get out and head inside the hotel, keeping my eyes cast downward as I walk hurriedly through the lobby and to the stairs to the second floor, bypassing the elevator that has a camera in it.
As soon as I find the door I'm looking for, I bang on it.
Ezra Hayden swings it open, and his eyes open just a hair wider, the only show of surprise on his face as I step in without asking.
"Dale Sterling. To what do I owe this-"
A satisfying crunch ends his words as my fist collides with his face. He bows, bending at the waist as he groans and clutches his nose.
"Have you lost your mind?!" he demands.
I start to walk away, then turn around and punch him again, catching him in the side so hard that he yelps and crashes to the ground, landing on his back as he continues to pour blood from his nose.
"You ever go near Harley or try to contact her again, and I'll be back. Get the fuck out of Sterling Shore. Go back to New York. I strongly suggest never returning. And take your wife and stepdaughter with you."
I start to leave, when he chuckles darkly. "You just messed up, son. I'll take everything you have when I sue the hell out of you."
I smirk as I look back at him. "Didn't you hear? Sterlings don't get touched in Sterling Shore."
His eyes lose a little of that glimmer and confidence. He knows I'm right.
"Last warning. Get out of Sterling Shore."
I turn and walk out, slamming the door behind me. The halls are empty, and I take the stairs again, exiting out the side with no cameras at all instead of going through the lobby.
I know this hotel well. We've used the ballroom numerous times for parties and such.
I walk out, and I see Maverick waiting, as though he knew I'd come out this way.
He doesn't ask what I just did or why there's blood on my knuckles. He doesn't ask where I want to go as he drives me toward Dane's house where the others are still hanging out.
He doesn't say a word.
As soon as we walk in, I walk straight for Dane's kitchen, ignoring the questioning looks from Corbin, Dane, and Kode. After I grab a beer, I return to where they're all sitting, and I drop down like it's any other night.
I'm focusing on getting her back.
That's all I can do.
I can't keep thinking about losing her, or I'll lose it.
"If anyone asks, Maverick and I were here all night," I finally say to all of them as they continue to stare.
"Right," Kode says, then everyone else chimes in with agreement before they all pretend to watch TV.
Maverick tosses me hand sanitizer, and I look up at him.
"You're supposed to be the smart one," he says as though he's exasperated, but I still just stare at him, confused as to why he gave me hand sanitizer. "Blood, dude. Get rid of the blood."
Chapter 46
HARLEY
I've managed to avoid Britt since she left a little early Monday and came back. Now I know she left to speak with the Sterlings, since Dale came to me that night.
Now it's Wednesday, and she's in my office, her eyes full of regret.
"I understand if you don't want me here anymore. This is all my fault," she says with no preamble at all, as though she's diving in before I can stop her.
It looks like she's assuming responsibility that isn't hers.
"I want you here. I'd be an idiot to want you gone. Besides, you know I like you, and I don't like too many people. What happened with Dale and I was probably inevitable. And it had nothing to do with you."
Okay, so it had a lot to do with her, but it's not like she made Dale think I'm a super shitty person. Even at my worst, I've never stepped on the innocent to hurt the guilty.
It's not her fault. And I hate that she's bearing the burden of it.
"I need to respond to all the emails I missed out on yesterday during my meetings. But we can do lunch if you want," I tell her with a soft smile.
"You don't have to be nice-"