“Women do it all the time.” That statement annoyed me. He was right, but men did things that weren’t okay either and you couldn’t hold it against them all collectively.
“Maybe,” I said. “But I’m not one of those women. I never wanted anything from you, Alex. That day we spent together was special to me and I held it… I still hold it in my memory as one of the most special days of my adult life. But, I did not initiate it. I never would have. I’m not saying I’m without responsibility here but I’m willing to shoulder my part of it. I’m willing to raise this child and do whatever it takes to give him a good life. If you have no interest in being a part of that, I would never force it.”
“What about the lawsuit?” he asked. “You’re asking for a lot more than just child support.” I could see that the wheels in his brain were turning, but I couldn’t tell from his questions where they were leading him.
“You brought that on. After I got the papers, Jason told me that since you’d taken away my livelihood I should counter sue. He made it about the baby and how he deserved to be taken care of… I honestly never wanted to do it this way. I hate this. I was just so hurt and angry and Jason was the only one being supportive so I listened to him. Of course the lawyer I saw thought it was a great idea too... Men,” I said, to make my point that it wasn’t only women who were greedy. “I really do hate all of this.”
“I do too,” he said, sadly. I was surprised. Not necessarily because he hated it, but that he was willing to admit that he did. “I’m a good businessman,” he said. “Some might even say brilliant. But as you have borne witness to I’m sure, I’m not that astute when it comes to personal relationships. My wife… when she planned to divorce me, was trying to take me for everything I had. The only thing stopping her from doing that was the great legal advice and maneuverings of my family lawyers. When I found the test, I consulted one of them about what to do. He told me not to worry about it; they would handle it, so I let them. It all got so out of hand.”
“I’m glad to know that,” I told him. “I’m glad to at least know you don’t believe in your heart that I had any sinister intentions. Alex, all I ever wanted from you was my job. I think you would even have to admit that I was good at it. I will need a way to support my child. If you can find it in your heart to allow me to come back…”
“Victoria, my wife and I are back together.” That sentence was like a knife slicing straight through my heart. If all I wanted was my job, then it shouldn’t, I know. The truth was, I would probably never stop wanting Alex… but it was never about money. Not even for a second. I could see how me being in his home working every day, pregnant with his child while he was trying to make things work with his wife wouldn’t be okay.
“Oh… okay. Well, I should really be going.” I felt embarrassed and ashamed for asking him for my job, yet here I was, pregnant with his child and he was willing to let me do without even that. My head was so confused, bouncing from one emotion to the next. My stomach felt sick and I needed to get out of here. I stood up and so did he.
“Victoria…”
“Yes?”
He took me by the shoulders and then leaned down and pressed his lips to my forehead. That simple kiss sent waves of shock racing through me. “Take care of yourself,” he said. “And the baby.”
I just nodded and took a step back before turning and quickly walking away. I didn’t want him to see the tears in my eyes.
ALEXANDER
I stood on the pier and watched Vicki go. I had to wonder if I was making the biggest mistake of my life. She’s pregnant with my child, my child… a little boy. I let her step off the end of the pier before I put my hands in my pockets and began walking in the same direction. The lawyers tell me that there is no way of knowing yet. If I want a relationship with the child, I can have them order a DNA test after the baby is born. If I want a relationship with my own child? What kind of man would I be if I didn’t want that? When I say I do want a relationship with my child, they start talking about money again. What kind of man worries more about money than the woman who is bringing a new life into this world? This was done all wrong and I’m just not sure how to fix it. I know now that what I should have done was talk to Vicki and asked her about the test. I should have kept the lawyers out of it. I should have followed my gut instincts about her and trusted that she wasn’t out to get anything from me. But I’d trusted my instincts about Cassandra too and look how that turned out. It was an ironic thought, considering that I was going home to her.