“I’m just hoping you know that weight’s not going to drop off by itself when you have that kid. I was out of work for six months after I had you just trying to get my figure back.”
I rolled my eyes. “I’ve gained ten pounds mom and I’m more than halfway through my pregnancy. Besides, I’m not a pole dancer.”
“Ten pounds can make all the difference,” she said, taking a sip of her lemon water.
With a sigh I almost asked her, “What difference?” but I didn’t. I knew it would have something to do with me catching a man who could “support” me. She was an independent businesswoman… albeit the owner of a strip club. She should understand that all women do not want to be “taken care of.” No matter how good she looked or how hard she tried, she’d never achieved it even at almost fifty. I simply said, “Thanks mom, I’ll keep it in mind,” as I did with so many other things.
“I have a client who is looking for a housekeeper if you’re still looking for a job.”
That got my attention. I definitely needed a job. I’d spent so much money on this lawsuit that I wasn’t even certain that I wanted to pursue any longer that I was having trouble paying my own bills. It was one thing I had to be grateful to Jason for… at least I had a roof over my head and food in my belly. I’d feel so much better though if I were contributing to that. Plus, my lawyer wasn’t going to take my I.O.U. much longer. But this was one of mother’s “clients.” I was a little concerned about that. “Someone you know well?” I asked her.
She shrugged and said, “We had a brief affair a few years ago but then his wife found out…”
“Yeah, thanks Mom, but no thanks,” I said. I’d met a few of her “clients” over the years. I’d fought off advances from a few of them as well. Not upstanding citizens in the least. She just rolled her eyes at me. “I found out that I’m having a boy,” I told her, trying to change the subject and hoping to get some kind of emotion out of her about the baby.
“Hmm,” she said. The waitress had just brought our lunch and left. She had taken one bite of her salad. “This salad dressing tastes like it’s loaded with calories. I don’t think that porky waitress gave me the light stuff…” And that was how the rest of our meal together went. I left there with most of the happiness I’d had when I left Liz’s house gone.
I left the diner and went to the one place I’d always felt good, Seal Beach, to the pier. I browsed through a few of the small shops, but mostly I just stood on the edge of the pier and looked out at the ocean. The sea was an unbroken, calm underneath the gentle sun. The small ripples of water that lay across it were sprinkled with millions of light fragments; each one tiny, but together they were intense and beautiful. I slipped out of my shoes and stood there like I did when I was a kid, with the feel of the rough wood underneath my bare feet and began to feel nostalgic. My life had never been much to be excited over but it had never seemed as lonely as it had since Alexander turned his back on me. I know that we never had a real relationship, but before that day we spent in the basement, I was able to look forward to at least one smile or one kind word from him almost every day. He was never anything but kind and respectful and I missed that. Jason wasn’t mean or abusive, but I always get the feeling that he’s never harbored much respect for me either. When we were together before any of this happened with the pregnancy he was always quicker to point out my flaws than he was to say anything kind. Usually, he just said nothing at all and he touched me even less, that’s what led me to believe maybe there was another woman in the picture. Maybe I’m wrong… either way; I was beginning to quickly recognize that moving back in with him had been a mistake.
The sun was beginning to get low in the sky and I still had some things I needed to do before nightfall. I turned and began heading back down the pier towards the lot where I parked my car and in the distance I saw the shadow of a man who looked very familiar. He was strolling along slowly, dropping pieces of sourdough for the pigeons and seagulls and every so often stopping to look at something that had caught his eye out in the water. It was Alex. The direction he was facing put his eyes looking directly into the sun. I hoped that also kept him from being able to see me. As much as I wanted to see him, I was sure he wasn’t interested in running into me. I put my head down and walked quickly on the far side of the pier, I passed him and continued to head for my car. I was almost to the end of the pier when I felt a strong hand on my shoulder. I knew it was his before I turned around.