I’d panicked when I first found it. I started to call Vicki, knowing it had to be hers. The only other staff on at the time was Karen who is fifty-five, Gregory and Manny. I actually had the phone in my hand and I was primed to push her number when thoughts of Cassandra crept back into my head. The day she’d left me, I’d gone to the hotel where she was staying to confront her. When she opened the door to her suite she’d said, “I’m not coming back, Alexander. I hate it there. I hate that house and I hate you.”
Although I think I’d fallen out of love with her years ago, her words still felt like someone was stabbing me in the chest with a knife. “I bought that house for you, Cassandra. You let me buy it with the idea in my head that we would have children to fill it soon.”
“I never put that idea in your head. That was all you. We should have a modern house in the hills where we can throw fabulous parties. Instead we live in a stuffy old house that looks almost identical to the stuffy old house your parents live in. I’ve tried to bring life back into it, but there’s no point. It’s like living in a museum.”
“If you would have told me that, I would have sold it for you. But you’re also saying you hate me. Why? What did I do?”
“Nothing, Alexander. That’s the problem; you do nothing any more except go to work.”
“One of us has to,” I’d told her.
“You have more money than God. Give it a rest and take me on vacation. Have a party. Go to a club. Hell, have an affair! Anything to put some life back into you. You’re a thirty year old man and you act like you’re fifty.”
She had a lot more to say that day and I listened. When I left, I called up a few friends that I hadn’t seen in a while and that night I had my first party in the basement. The next morning when I woke up next to some model that was as plastic as Cassandra, I realized that I wasn’t any happier, but maybe at least people wouldn’t think I was old and stuffy. So, I kept up with the parties and the women. I thought maybe one of them would turn out to be different and I could finally meet someone who would love me for me and not the fact that I had billions of dollars in the bank. That didn’t happen either. They were all more than willing to do whatever I wanted them to do and they all had one end goal in mind; bag the billionaire. I was cautious and made sure I used protection when I had sex with them. I let them get drunker than me and then after we’d had wild sex, I poured them into a car and had them taken home. I never let them see my house beyond the basement and I never shared anything personal with them. Then I found Vicki crying in my hallway that day and my mindset totally changed.
I was pissed off at Cassandra that day and when I first saw her I thought, “Oh great, another needy woman.” I almost left her there and walked on by. But when her eyes met mine and I saw the genuine pain in them… the first genuine feelings I think I’d seen from any woman in such a long time, I couldn’t resist. I thought I’d take her downstairs and we’d have a drink or two and I could get my mind off of Cassandra and her nonsense. Once we were down there and we started talking, I was hooked. I had always thought she was beautiful, but I wasn’t going to cheat on my wife and I wasn’t going to come on to the staff. But that day it was different. Cheating on my wife was removed from the equation and suddenly Vicki was more to me than just “staff.” She was a vibrant, emotional, intelligent, funny, gorgeous woman and I would have had to be dead to not be affected by her. That day and night were the best of my life so far and every time I think about it now, I still get a warm feeling that floods my entire system. I still want her and every time I’ve seen her since, I’ve ached for her.
When I told my attorney about the pregnancy test and he asked me how the “affair” happened… I told him it was all me. I came on to her. I saw the surprise on her face that day. I saw that she wanted me too, but she was scared. I was the aggressor. I took advantage of her and if she had sued me for sexual harassment, I wouldn’t have been surprised. But she didn’t and she didn’t say another word about it. She was willing to leave it be and let me make the next move if there were to be one. I told him all of that, and his conclusion for her leaving the test for me to find it was “blackmail.” He said she was blackmailing me and she wanted me to offer her money to give up the baby… he’d actually said, “abort.” That word made me sick and I told him not to use it again. If she consented to “give up” the baby, it would be only to me. I would make sure of that.