“Aw, come on Vicki, I hate to eat alone. My room is pretty decent today.” Alex was still grinning at me and his tone was teasing. It wasn’t unusual for him to invite any of the staff to eat with him. It was well known around the house that he really did hate to eat alone.
“Okay sir, thank you,” I said. I noticed that today, he didn’t seem fazed at all by my use of “sir.” I wondered if that meant he no longer had any desire to kiss me. I wished that I felt the same. I had to keep reminding myself not to look at his lips. I sat down and Gregory brought me a cup of coffee. Alex continued to work on his project as I tried to nonchalantly study his profile. He was so gorgeous that it should be illegal. This morning he was clean-shaven and wearing a perfectly tailored dark gray suit and light blue tie. He looked good enough to have for breakfast. When he seemingly finished what he was doing, he looked at me and said, “So how was your weekend, Vicki?”
I glanced over at Gregory. He was running the blender and oblivious to our conversation. Not that we were saying anything wrong, I was just still feeling a little anxious about it all.
“It was relaxing,” I told him. The truth was, I tried hard to relax but I hadn’t been able to. I’d driven myself crazy over it all weekend. The good news was, I did a deep clean of the apartment and everything was squeaky clean now.
“Good,” he said. “I worked all weekend. I’m going on a trip to Texas today. I’ll be gone for at least two weeks, maybe three.” I hated that my chest hurt when he said that. What was wrong with me? We had sex, Vicki! We’re both adults. Get over it!
“Texas? That sounds fun.”
He laughed. “Not really,” he said. “It will be lucrative though. My company won a contract to design a large public garden there. I’m going to go down and get them started. The whole job is likely to take a few months, but my part should hopefully only be a couple of weeks.”
Gregory served our breakfast then and while we ate, Manny came in and Alex invited him to join us. I was both happy and confused. I was happy I still had a job and that Manny was doing the job now of keeping the conversation going. I was confused that Alex hadn’t alluded at all to our time together on Friday, or why he’d just left Saturday morning with no word. I wasn’t sure if that was good or bad, but I tried to make myself believe that since I still had a job, it was the best possible outcome.
After breakfast, I wished him a good trip and went to work. As I cleaned his room, I tried not to imagine myself someday sleeping in his arms in the giant California King bed. I tried… I didn’t quite succeed. By the day’s end, I’d decided that him leaving for a couple of weeks would be good for me. It would give me time to get back on track without having to see his gorgeous face every day. The other good news was that with all of my confusion and angst over Alex, it had kept my mind off of Jason.
***
Alex was gone for almost a month and by the time he returned I had myself completely pulled together. On top of that, I’d not only accepted Jason’s “break” was a good idea; I was thriving on it. I realized that without the pressures of a boyfriend who could be awfully demanding at times, I got a lot more rest and I got a lot more done. I had started my online classes. I was taking medical terminology and nutrition online. Those were the last two classes I would need to qualify for the program. I hoped to have enough saved up by the next semester to apply.
I ran into Alex occasionally and our conversation had always been light and easy. I still wondered sometimes why he never mentioned that day but Liz, always the voice of reason, had convinced me that he probably realized what risky territory he had dived into. I could have cried sexual harassment. I guess that I don’t think like a rich person, or a litigious one. He has to guard his assets because there are always vultures circling. I’m not a vulture, but after the ordeal he was going through with his soon to be ex-wife, who could really blame him for being cautious.
It was Saturday and I got up early because I had a nutrition quiz due by noon. I also woke up because of some amazing smells wafting from the kitchen, down the hallway and underneath my door. Liz was cooking. She’d told me not long ago that one way she dealt with her now five months of celibacy was by cooking. She used to be overweight because back then, she dealt with things by eating. She found out that she could deal with it just as easily by cooking yummy foods and just sampling as she cooked instead of eating a full meal. I think I was suffering the most for it. I’d already gained three pounds this month.