But that man was a menace, as Austin had found out the hard way. And even if he wasn’t, life with that guy would get dull. You’d have to stand around and wait while he crushed heads, yet again. You’d have to keep a stock of Get Well Soon cards and your hand would absolutely ache from writing apology letters. Watching a movie in the theater? Forget it. He’d have the whole place in a riot. He’d be a royal nuisance.
Austin had so much more to give than some numbskull barbarian. He was funny and witty and so much fun. He was caring and steadfast. Welcoming to strangers. I loved seeing his eyes glitter when he was trying to hold back a smile. Or his focused expression when his mind churned, taking in new information.
“Destiny had half a man,” I said, my lips tingling as his intense gaze rooted to them. “Not the bad half or the good half, just half of a man. I think you needed a hard lesson so you could see the darkness that lives within you. And that’s okay. We all have demons. It forced you to find the other half of you—the kind, funny, steadfast, selfless half of you that balances out the whole. You are in the role of alpha, even if your situation here is not traditional. You guide people, protect them, and offer them a home. You lend your strength to the weak. You celebrate their wins. And yes, you unleash your monster on those who would hurt the family you’ve created. But that’s a necessary evil, and these people thank you for it because it is necessary for peace. You’ve struck the perfect blend, I think. In my opinion, you’re the best man you could be because of your past, not despite it. And I’m happy to have met you.”
In a rush he stepped toward me, wrapping an arm around my waist and grabbing the back of my neck with the other hand. He pulled me closer and pushed his soft lips against mine.
Twenty-Two
Electricity and adrenaline ran my length as though I’d grabbed hold of a live wire. Heat pooled in my core, throbbing. Aching.
I opened my mouth and he tilted his head, deepening the kiss. Trailing his hand from my neck down my back and pulling me in tighter, his strength arousing, my body fitting against his sensuously.
His kiss, scorching hot, turned languid. He sucked in my bottom lip before flitting his tongue with mine playfully. Expertly.
I moaned, utterly lost in the feel of his hard body under my palms. Utterly consumed with the spicy-sweet taste of him, like honey and cinnamon.
He pulled back, breaking away slowly, as though he were savoring the contact. My eyes fluttered, not ready to fully open.
“Sorry,” he whispered, his gaze roaming my face. “I think I’ve just needed to hear that for a very long time. I apologize for crossing the line. I lost my grip on that leash.”
I ran my tongue across my tingling lips. “That was a good kiss. I haven’t been kissed like that since Robbie Timmons out behind the art bungalow.”
“I’m not… I didn’t mean… This isn’t…”
“No, no.” I waved him away and shivered pleasantly. Lava flowed through my veins, so extremely delicious. If he was that good of a kisser, just think what else he was excellent at.
…genuinely satisfying night…
I cleared my throat and turned back to my wine. “Just give me a minute here. My ex was the world’s worst kisser. Like…really bad, so we never kissed. I haven’t actually kissed someone romantically in…over half my life. I used to love it. I loved making out. Thank you for showing me what I’ve been missing.”
His expression was troubled. Regretful.
“Relax.” I took a sip. “I’m happy in the friend zone. I know that wasn’t romantic, and I definitely will not try to get in your pants. There is no way in hell I am bumping uglies for the first time after the ex with someone I know. It’ll be a stranger, just in case I freak out. But that won’t be for a long while. I need a little me time.”
His lips pulled up into a grin. “Me time, as in…”
“Not everything people say is dirty, Karen.”
He laughed and finished off his wine. I noticed that the room had cleared and our fearless host stood at the very opposite end of the counter, trying to look anywhere but at us.
“You really have thrown that poor guy for a loop,” I said as he signaled for the man to come closer.
“You’ll see why in a minute,” he murmured, moving away slightly to give me room.
A little tension drained out of me. I hadn’t been kidding—I wasn’t ready for anything intimate. That kiss had been fantastic—easily one of the best I’d ever had—but I needed a while to figure out who I was in midlife before I jumped into anything, serious or not. I didn’t want to lose myself like I had in my marriage and after having a kid. I was finally in a place where I could choose my fate, and I wanted to get it right. I wanted to get me right before I brought in anyone else.
It made me feel ten times better that he was on the same page, even if his reasoning made me sad on his behalf.
Turned out the tasting guy was a pompous blow hard who thought the sun that grew the grapes shined out of his ass. He described the wine to the point that I didn’t even want to try it anymore. He went over definitions I neither knew nor wanted to know. And if Austin hadn’t cut him off by pointing at the new people patiently waiting, the guy would’ve kept talking my life away until I threw up my hands and walked out.
“See?” Austin said. “He’s a know-it-all type that puffs up with any sort of authority, real or imagined. I come in, and he is reminded that he isn’t at the top of the food chain and needs to pull back the attitude. Usually I’d cut a spiel like that short—he was trying to impress me—but I wanted you to get the full benefit of his knowledge.”
“Yes, and I thank you for that. I’m half brain dead.” I savored the wine for a moment. Despite the horrible employee, it was much better than the selection at the last place. “Do you read personality types based on their postures or…”
“Usually I read the type of person based on how they carry themselves, how they act, their movements, large or slight. Guessing at peoples’ personalities is more from experience through the years. I can be wrong.”
“How often are you wrong?”
“These days, not often.”
“Ah. So you had me pegged as soon as I walked in the door.”
“You ruined a yearlong perfect record, actually. I think you have some dead skin to shed before you’ll become who you are meant to be. You know, if we’re doing this insightful, honest thing. Sometimes you act like a wallflower, and sometimes an adventurer bored with this life. I wonder where you’ll settle.”
I shrugged. I didn’t know myself.
“Anyway,” he said. “I read people in order to know who might make a play for power. Who might get out of line, and how much work will be required to make them submit.”
“So that you stay on the top of the food chain?”
“Yes.”
“You’ll be really handy when I start dating again, then,” I said.
His head snapped toward me. A small crease formed in his brow before he turned back to his wine. “Yes,” he said, the word almost like a growl, then took a sip. “Very.”
“Don’t worry, you’ll always be my first kiss in this new life. I will remember it fondly. But a chick has gotta fly, man.”
He huffed out a laugh. “I would never dream of clipping your wings.”
“Except for the whole—don’t let the magic endanger the whole town thing.”
“Right, yes. Except for that.”
“And if I get that magic and become…more powerful than you?” The woman down the counter glanced over. I gestured between Austin and me. “Role playing. He’s really into Ren Fairs.”
Austin let the silence linger for a moment. “I do not honestly know, Jess, and that’s the truth. It might be a problem for my animal. For me. I crave dominance. My beast side will fight for that privilege. Has fought for it, every time someone tries to barge into this little safe haven. I can tolerate being around someone more powerful than me—that’s not the problem. I will not tolerate someone trying to rule me. I cannot, even if it is you.”
I put my hands up and noticed the woman down the way openly staring at Austin, lust burning brightly in her eyes. The guys were pretending he didn’t exist.
“Tone it down there, slugger,” I murmured. “You’re making everyone nervous. Can you pour the next one?”
“Yeah, sorry.” He reached down and grabbed a bottle at random. The worker looked over, and then looked away. He didn’t plan to interfere.
“So if I were more powerful,” I said as he filled my glass, “but didn’t try to boss you around, you’d still be my friend?”
He looked at me for a long time, his expression unreadable. “I don’t have friends.”
“Not even Mr. Tom?”
He barked out laughter. “I don’t have friends because I’m the alpha figure. Not many people warm up to me.”
“Except your night-time relations.”
“I actually have to warm them up.”
“I doubt they need it. Well, if Mr. Tom can spare you, will you have a problem with a supremely powerful friend that doesn’t try to dominate you?”