“What happened to The Spinnaker?” Mack asked.
“Closed down several years ago,” the woman said. “They just rent the space for private parties now.”
“I didn’t know,” I whispered to him.
“Thank you,” he told the worker before turning to me. “I feel so stupid.”
Placing my hand on his shoulder, I said, “It’s okay.”
“It’s not okay. It’s not.” He repeated, “None of this is okay. It’s like I just expected everything to be exactly the same.” I knew he was referring to more than just the restaurant being closed.
Mack was extremely quiet during the elevator ride back down to the lower level. Once outside of the hotel, instead of heading back toward the car, he stopped walking and stared out toward the river.
The wind caused by being so close to the water blew my hair around as I asked, “Mack, what’s wrong?”
He looked up at the sky then over at me. “Am I delusional?”
“What do you mean?”
“Be honest. Am I grasping for something that’s not there anymore?” He turned to me. “I wake up in the morning with hope, that every day I’m somehow closer to being with you. I still feel this bond between us. I feel it so strongly. But tonight is an example of how fucking clueless I apparently am. I just assumed…it would be here, just like I assumed that I could just come back into your life and somehow win you back after eight fucking years. The one chance I get to really be with you—this week—and my life gets in the way, once again demonstrating how I can never make you a priority like you deserve. Fuck, I don’t even think I would choose me if I were you.” He looked up at the sky then back at me. “I don’t have all the time in the world to give you. I couldn’t give you the perfect life even if I wanted to, because I am carrying so much baggage. Some days, I don’t even know who I am anymore…Jonah’s dad, Torrie’s ex, Michael Morrison’s estranged son. But when I’m with you…I’m Mack. I feel like myself. When you look at me, you remind me of who I am, who I want to be. I want to go back to being that man who was once happier than a pig in shit just from being around you every day. But it’s not fair to steal away even an ounce of your happiness just so I can have mine.”
As much as I’d wanted to avoid touching him, I couldn’t help it. I pulled him into a tight embrace.
We just held each other for the longest time. His breath was shaky. I could feel his heart pounding faster than I could ever remember. For the first time, it hit me how vulnerable Mack really was. Even though he always seemed so confident and strong, he was letting his guard down completely in this moment. I still had no clue what the right choice was for me, but one thing I was sure of: I wanted to spend every minute of tonight with this man. The evening wasn’t going to go to waste.
Breaking our long embrace, I asked, “Will you take me back to your house?”
He seemed surprised. “My house?”
“Yes. I want to cook for you and watch a movie on your big ass television. That’s how I want to spend tonight, not in some fancy restaurant.”
“But I’m supposed to be wining and dining you.”
“What would make me happiest is to be able to cook us a nice meal and to just be with you. Can we go to your place?”
“Of course. Consider my house your house. I would love that more than anything.”
“Okay…it’s settled, then.”
Frankie wanted to stop back at her condo to put on comfortable clothes and grab some food she had in her fridge so that she could prepare it over at my place.
Knowing I’d be stepping into his house made me a little ill, but he wasn’t there, so that balanced it out a little. I was definitely eager for the rare opportunity to scope out where she lived.
This brownstone had to have cost in the millions.
“How did he afford this place?”
“It’s been in his family for years.”
“I was gonna say. A professor’s salary alone wouldn’t allow for this.”
“It certainly wouldn’t.”
The décor was a combination of dark wood and interior brick with lots of built-in shelves and dark leather furniture. Books were everywhere. The ceilings were high, and there were lots of rooms; it was almost too much space for two people.
I followed her into the rustic-style kitchen. The cabinets were painted a light teal color and the island featured a butcher-block countertop. There was a small open pantry in the corner stacked with food items.
Frankie grabbed a canvas bag and began emptying some of the contents of her fridge into it. She eventually placed it down in a thud and said, “I’ll be right back. I’m just gonna change into something more comfortable and then we can get out of here. Feel free to look around.”