A thought crossed my mind. I wondered if he’d been with anyone else besides Torrie. Mack was definitely a sexual person. I wondered how he could have possibly stayed celibate even in the short time he’d been in Boston. I honestly didn’t want to know if he hadn’t and chose not to let my mind go there.
“This room is really nice.”
He raised his brow. “Really? Then why do you look like you want to flee?”
“It does make me a little nervous being in your room.”
“Do you want me to take you home?”
“No.”
“Okay.” He sat down next to me, leaving only a few inches between us. My body tensed up in an effort to fight my attraction to him.
He touched his index finger to a spot on my lower neck, sending chills down my spine. “What happened to the little mole that used to be there?”
“I got it removed years ago. I was afraid it was cancer. It wasn’t. You know how paranoid I can get about things. I’m surprised you even remember that I had it.”
He was looking into my eyes for a while before he said, “I remember everything, Frankie. I remember that you were wearing a Punky Brewster T-shirt the day we first met. I remember the way your hair always smelled. I fucking use the same shampoo—Finesse—just so I can smell you every day. Smelled every bottle in the store until I could remember which brand it was. I remember the last show we ever watched together—a rerun of Friends, the one where Phoebe found a human thumb floating around in her can of soda. You were laughing at the show, and I was just staring at you, wondering how the hell I was going to deal with not seeing you for an entire summer. I remember the way the sun caught the red in your hair at that outdoor bar during our last day together. And I’ll never forget the look of sadness on your face when you knew I was leaving Boston and not coming back. I remember everything, and depending on the day, that’s either a curse or a blessing.”
My heart felt like it was ready to explode.
He placed his hand on mine. “I remember it all—the good and the bad—and I wouldn’t trade any of it.” Looking down at our fingers now wrapped together, he asked, “Is this okay? My holding your hand?”
Touching him felt really good. Even though it should have seemed like an innocent gesture, the contact was disconcertingly arousing.
I answered, “Yes.”
We were quiet for a long while until he said, “No matter what happens, all of those memories will stay with me until the day I die. But I’d prefer to make new ones. It’s fucked-up, but I didn’t think I could want you more than I did back then. But now that you’re with someone else, now that I may lose you a second time—forever—it’s a whole different level of wanting you.”
I broke the contact of our hands, stood up, and walked over to the window. It was foggy, preventing me from seeing outside.
“Before he left, Victor said he wants to marry me,” I suddenly blurted out. “And have kids. He’d never said those words before, but I think he feels threatened by you.”
“He does, does he? Are his feelings warranted?”
Did Victor have a reason to worry? The way my heart was beating, the fact that my panties were wet from the mere touch of Mack’s hand, meant that Victor had every reason to worry. I still reacted to Mack the same way I had eight years ago. Nothing in that respect had changed. Every part of me that wasn’t logical wanted Mack and only Mack. But this wasn’t just a decision for my body and heart. My mind kept reminding me that there was a child and a bitter ex involved. Not to mention the fear that went along with giving someone a second chance when they’d already broken your heart.
But I answered him truthfully, “His feelings are warranted, yes. But I’m very confused.”
He got up and walked slowly toward me. “It’s weird how the roles have reversed. I used to want to be with you but stopped what felt natural because I didn’t want to hurt Torrie. Nothing and no one is holding me back now. I don’t care about him, but I respect that you do, because I care about you. I can relate to what you’re going through. I’ll do whatever you truly want. Your happiness is all that matters. You’re holding all the cards, Frankie—every single, last one of them. But just be aware that I have no issue with showing you exactly how much I want you right now.” He moved in closer, to the point where I could feel the heat from his body. “The next time you ask me to kiss you, I’m going to fucking kiss you.” He pointed to the bed. “In fact, I’d love nothing more than to be making your eyes roll back right now.”