I addressed her, “Miss Brown, will you lead the class in the morning prayer, please, while I walk Mr. Morrison out?”
“Sure.” She winked then mouthed, “Holy fucking shit.”
My heart was pounding as Mack followed me out the door.
When I turned to him, I noticed that a look of worry on his face had replaced the confidence from earlier.
“So…my son…he gets… anxious—really nervous very easily. I worry about him.”
I let him continue.
“You’re the only one I trust with him, Frankie. His mother works all of the time. And I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing, in general. I know it may seem like eons ago that we were close, and I know you’re confused right now. I know I fucked everything up between us, but I’ve never forgotten you. Not a single day. When Torrie was transferred to Boston, I knew it was a sign. Moses told me where you were teaching, and when I found out it was first grade, I took that as the biggest sign. I did everything I could to get him into this class.”
Letting out a long, shaky breath, I just continued to look at him but said nothing.
Mack looked around to make sure no one was watching us then said, “I know we can’t say everything that needs to be said right now. This is neither the time nor place. My intention certainly isn’t to get you into trouble.” His eyes trailed down to my black pencil skirt where I’d spilled the white paint earlier. He grinned. “I see you’re still spilling suspicious, white substances on yourself.”
I looked down, remembering how he’d teased me about the same thing the first time we met. My face felt hot. “I see you’re a bit less crude in your terminology now. Must be the age.”
“Not really. My humor is still pretty immature and crass. But this is not exactly the place to demonstrate that.”
“No, it isn’t.“ I cracked a reluctant smile.
He winked.
It was amazing how one simple movement of his eyelid could do a multitude of things to my entire body. My physical reaction to him was certainly one thing that hadn’t changed a bit. I had no clue how I was going to survive this year.
“I have to go,” I said.
Ignoring my need to leave, he asked, “What happened to your glasses?”
“Lasik surgery. Don’t need them anymore.”
“Wow. I never thought you’d have the guts.”
“Yeah. It was actually fairly seamless. I, uh, noticed Jonah’s glasses are pretty thick.”
“He has crappy eyesight like you did, so he needs to wear them. Of course, he doesn’t wear funky turquoise or purple frames like you used to. Whenever I look at his glasses, they remind me of you, though.” He smiled. “But a lot of things remind me of you.”
His stare was once again making me uncomfortable, so I turned to open the door, pausing when he spoke from behind me in a thick voice.
“It’s so good to see you again, Frankie.”
Victor spoke with his mouth full. “Tell me all about your day, darling.”
I lived with my boyfriend, Victor, in Boston’s Beacon Hill. His two-story brownstone condo had more room than we knew what to do with.
Vic was an anthropology professor at Boston University, my alma mater. We’d met two years ago through mutual friends at B.U. Seventeen years my senior, he was the only older man I’d ever dated. He took care of me well, made me feel safe, and provided me with anything I needed. On the outside looking in, I was truly living the perfect life.
There was a light fall breeze coming in through the window as the sun set. The faint traffic noises from busy Cambridge Street below were the only sounds. I looked up at the dark wood molding surrounding the built-in shelves in our dining room and finally answered his question.
“Honestly, I felt very overwhelmed today. Missing that orientation was a mistake. They’ve stuck me with twenty-six kids, and a couple of them have some really significant needs.”
“I’m sorry. That’s really unfair of them to do.” Victor picked the cauliflower out of his vegetable medley and took another bite. He always ate his mixed vegetables one kind at a time.
“Well, you know, each extra kid is a lot of additional revenue for the school. They just don’t pay us teachers more to compensate for the extra work.”
“You know you don’t ever need to worry about money, right? So, don’t let that stress you out.”
“I know. It’s not that. I just know it’s going to be a challenging year.”
He examined my face. “Something else is bothering you.”
I couldn’t tell him. I just couldn’t tell him about Mack. I’d never mentioned Mack at all to Victor. What was the point? I’d been trying to forget what happened, and it was several years ago anyway. Despite the urge to blurt out, “Oh, and the man who broke my heart showed up randomly, too,” I chose to continue to keep that quiet.