I heard Charlie comin up the stairs a long way down. I looked over the banisters, an he was comin up on his hands an knees. He was lookin up, an he saw me lookin down. An he gave a little whine an tried te come up faster. Me heart leapt at the sight of him, an I forgot Jackser an rushed down te help Charlie up an give him a big kiss. He was tired, an he put out his arms fer me te carry him.
‘Ah, where were ye?’ I said te him. ‘Did ye have a great time? Ye’re home now! Come on, I’ll help ye.’ An I held onta the banister an held his hand an pulled him up. Jackser was startin te light the fire, an me ma was lightin the gas te put on the water fer the tea. The babby was lyin in the middle of the bed, wrapped in his blue frilly shawl. He was kickin his legs an screamin. Me ma told me te give him his soother, an I looked at Jackser te see if he’d say somethin, cos he might not want me near his babby. But instead, Jackser turned aroun, an snufflin, said te me ma, ‘Jaysus, tell Martha, didn’t we have a great day, Sally! Man alive! Ye should a seen the dinner we got, it was fuckin lovely. Wasn’t it, Sally! An pipin hot, an a big bowl of soup wit hunks of bread, an a pot of tea. It was a new convent we went te, an she gave yer mammy ten bob. A really nice nun, we struck lucky meetin her. An then we went inta a shop an bought a pipin-hot apple tart. An we all sat down on a bench an ate it. I thought of ye, an I said te yer mammy, “Poor Martha, she’s missin this!” So, here, go down te the chip shop an get yerself a bag of chips.’
I took the shillin he gave me, an I looked aroun me. Me ma was smilin an agreein wit Jackser, an I gave the babby his soother an took the chance of givin the babby a kiss on his face. His tiny face was soft an brown, an he was lookin at me wit his lovely blue eyes. Jackser’s is brown! An he sucked on the soother an was lookin aroun him fer me ma, an he was sayin, ‘Golly, Golly, Golly.’ I wanted te pick him up an kiss him te nothin. But Jackser likes me te keep away from him. An Charlie was still standin in the middle of the room wit his coat on, waitin fer someone te look after him. An he was very tired. I took his coat off an brought him inta bed, an took off his trousers an shoes an covered him up. I left the door open in case he wanted te get up an come te me ma. Then I was out the door an down the street fer me chips, an I was jumpin inta the air wit bein so happy.
Me an Jackser are sittin at the kitchen table. It’s grand, the bit of comfort since we got the table an two chairs. He’s tinkerin aroun wit a big radio, it’s called a ‘Bush’. He came in the door wit it today an I couldn’t believe it. ‘Will we be havin music from it, Jackser?’ I said.
‘I hope so, if I can find out wha’s wrong wit it.’
I sat waitin patiently, rememberin te let me breath out, cos it’s hurtin me stomach. I gave meself a big shake an crossed me legs an me arms. An I put me head down on the table. I was tryin not te fall asleep, cos I didn’t want te miss anythin. Me ma was dozin in the bed. She had the babby under her arm, an he was wide awake. He was enjoyin suckin away on his soother, makin big sucky noises an lookin me ma up an down, an wonderin why she had her eyes closed. Then he’d lose the soother an wriggle his head, tryin te catch it in his mouth, an say, ‘Ah! Ah! Grr! Grr!’ an me ma would open her eyes an shove the soother back in his mouth an hold it wit her finger. An the babby would go back te his big sucky noises an slap away at me ma’s chest wit his tiny hand, enjoyin himself. Charlie was fast asleep in the bedroom, an the lovely fire we had earlier was settled down te a red glow. An I couldn’t believe we were really goin te get music.
But Jackser says, ‘I have it! There’s the problem, this valve here was loose.’ He switched it on an there was a cracklin noise, an then he turned the big knob fer a while, an suddenly a beautiful, melodious man’s voice burst inta the room wit, ‘This is the BBC.’ I shot up in me chair, me back goin rigid wit excitement. An then we heard this music! ‘Radio Luxembourg. Radio Luxembourg,’ an Jackser shot up an lit the gas an put the water on te boil. He made a pot of tea an went over te me ma in the bed, an said, ‘Sally! Do ye want a sup of tea?’
Me ma stirred an opened her eyes, an the babby stopped suckin an shot his little head aroun te look at Jackser. Me ma said, ‘I won’t bother,’ an the babby shot his head back te mooch fer his soother. Me ma put it in his mouth an closed her eyes again, an the babby went back te the contentment of suckin his soother an slappin me ma’s chest. Jackser poured me a sup of tea an one fer himself. An he moved his chair quietly over beside the fire an lit up a Woodbine. An we sat listenin. Then I heard the most beautiful music, an suddenly I was outa me body an flyin. An I wanted te cry inside meself. I wasn’t dead any more, I was lifted away, far away. I can do anythin. I can be somebody, I can be beautiful, I can be gentle, I can be rich, I can smell good. The world is waitin fer me. I can be what I want. Then it ended. An I was back in the room. I opened me eyes slowly an took in everythin aroun me. One day I’ll be able te stop this. Nobody will keep me down. I’ll work hard, an I’ll be at the top, cos I don’t want anyone lookin down on me. I want te be in a position, if someone treats me like dirt, cos they think they’re better than me, I’ll be able te say, ‘Ye’re not comin te me cocktail party!’ An the best bit is, they didn’t know I was rich, cos braggin about it is no good, they have te be friends wit me cos they like me. Tha’s the only way they’ll know.