The young fella started roarin, ‘Ye’re not drownin me kitten, ye cow, ye!’
The mammy looked as if she was goin te make a run at him, an I backed meself an Charlie outa the way. But she just went red in the face an ground her teeth, an said te the young one, ‘Get up an put them all outside te play. Before I’m hung fer murderin the lot of them.’
I opened the door an took meself an Charlie outside. Then the young fella wit the kitten came chargin out an knocked inta us an sent Charlie flyin te the ground. He kept runnin an looked back an laughed when he saw me pick Charlie up from the ground cryin. I kissed Charlie. This was all very strange fer him, an I knew he wanted me mammy.
The young fella was tormentin me now. ‘Ye’re not stayin in me house. Me ma said ye’re poxy bastards!’
‘Ye’re a liar!’ I shouted back. ‘She didn’t say tha, an we are stayin here! So why is she lettin us stay, then, if she didn’t want us?’
‘Cos yer man Jackser promised her a few bob. Tha’s why!’ he said.
‘Right, so we’re stayin, an ye’re not stoppin us!’
Wit tha, he threw the kitten at me, hittin me smack in the face. I felt the warmth of the kitten’s belly in me mouth an then the thud as it smacked the ground. I looked down in fright, an the kitten jerked an blood came outa its nose. I looked up at the young fella, who started te laugh. Me body went rigid, an then a hot fire hit me belly. I lunged at him, sendin him flyin flat on his back. Then I jumped on him. ‘Come on, I’ll show ye wha Jackser taught me! I’m goin te stand on yer belly an rip yer tongue outa yer mouth!’ I was just like Jackser, an the young fella, who was older, he was eight, was screamin fer his life. I was roarin an shoutin, an standin on yer man’s belly, an tryin te catch his tongue, an tellin him all the horrible things I was goin te do te him, when a crowd of aul ones came runnin outa their doors an dragged me offa the young fella.
They were shoutin at me an blessin themselves an sayin, tha was a terrible carry on, an they’d never seen the like of it in their lives! An they were holdin the young fella te their chests an lookin at him, an fixin his hair, an wipin his snots wit their shawls, an holdin him again. An tellin me I should be locked up! I looked up at them, an I couldn’t understand why they were so annoyed, cos I thought tha tha’s wha ye’re supposed te do! I looked at the young fella, an, yeah, he did get an awful fright, but’s tha’s wha Jackser does te me all the time, I thought! ... So ... I wasn’t supposed te do tha!
I’m after gettin an awful fright, too, cos the mammy came runnin out, an she was terrible annoyed as well. An ye could see the look on her face, like she couldn’t understand how I could be so vicious. ‘I’m not keepin ye’s. Jackser can come an take ye’s away,’ she said te me.
So now I know not everyone is like Jackser. Ye’re not supposed te go mad an hurt people. An not everyone is like me ma. Other mammies don’t let other people hurt their childre. I’ll never copy Jackser again. An I’ll never be like me ma. I’ll be somebody when I grow up. People will respect me.
Jackser came te collect us. He gave me a dirty look an just said, ‘Well, tha’s it then. There’s nothin more I can do fer ye. Go on! Get movin.’ An we stayed in the room, sittin on the bed, waitin fer night an slept. An Jackser came in at night an fell inta his bed drunk. We didn’t see him, we’d only hear him movin aroun. An tha’s the way it is until me mammy comes outa hospital.
17
The new babby is inchy whinchy tiny. Charlie stands beside me, lookin over at him wit his mouth open. He doesn’t know what it is. We watch me ma givin him his bottle. He’s in a little white nightgown, an me ma has him sittin on her lap. An his head an neck is held in me ma’s hand, an she’s rubbin his back. Jackser told us te get away from him, cos we were breathin on him, he said.
The babby brings up a little white stuff from his neck, an Jackser is very worried. ‘Ah, look, Sally!’ he says. ‘Me son is gettin sick. Is he all right, Sally? Do ye think we should get him looked at? He’s lookin a bit dozy, don’t ye think? Will he not drink all tha bottle fer ye? Them hospitals don’t know wha they’re doin. Maybe we should get ourselves a good doctor? Sally! I’m talkin te ye! Are ye fuckin listenin at all?’
‘Will ye stop moidierin me!’ me ma says. ‘Tha’s only wind! Get me tha nappy an borax powder, will ye. I’m tormented wit ye!’ she says te Jackser.
‘You, Mrs!’ Jackser turns on me. ‘Ye heard yer mammy. Run an get wha she wants.’