‘Is he hurt?’ she asked.
‘No, Ma, he’s just shocked. But he thinks he’s near te death.’
Me ma laughed an said, ‘It’s a pity he’s not!’
‘Yeah, Ma, it serves him right.’
Then I heard him comin up the stairs, an he was moanin, ‘Sally! Sally! Are ye there, Sally?’
The man was helpin him up an sayin, ‘Ye need a strong sup a tea, very sweet, wit lots a sugar fer the shock. Don’t underestimate shock, it can kill ye!’
I started te laugh, an me ma was pinchin me te stop, but she was laughin, too. An I started laughin harder, an I was afraid, cos I knew he’d kill me. But I laughed even more. An when his head appeared aroun the banisters wit the man helpin him, he was annoyed cos we hadn’t rushed down. Tears were comin down me ma’s face, an Jackser said, ‘Are ye’s fuckin laughin?’
‘No, Jackser!’ I shouted. ‘We were cryin! An we were afraid te come down in case ye were dead.’ Me ma snorted an ran back inta the room, an I ran after her.
Jackser looked very suspicious, but he sat at the fire, suppin his tea an smokin his Woodbine, an talkin te me ma about death. ‘Ye never know the hour or the day,’ he kept sayin. ‘I’ve an awful fear about dyin, I have, Sally. Jaysus, I have te take care of meself!’
Me ma sat the other side of the fire. Her eyes were closin an she was dozin off. She just kept murmurin, ‘Hm, Hm,’ te keep him quiet. I lay on the bed wit Charlie’s head in me lap, an I was strokin his long curls. His eyes were open, but he was relaxin an enjoyin the peace. Just listenin te Jackser talkin quietly.
The next day we took off fer the convents. Jackser had a lump on the back of his head, an he kept gettin me te feel it. ‘Is it big? Can ye feel it?’ he kept askin me.
‘Yeah, it’s huge, Jackser!’ I kept sayin.
‘I coulda been kilt, ya know! Tha was a close call.’
‘Yeah, ye coulda been kilt,’ I kept sayin. An was very disappointed he wasn’t. I was thinkin, me ma was right, the bad live longer.
We got goin without any fuss this time. Jackser pedalled us up te Drumcondra, an as we flew past the Bishop’s Palace, he said, ‘There’s no point in goin in there. Them rich bastards would give ye nothin.’
‘But he’s a bishop, Jackser! He’s a very holy man,’ I said. ‘He’s supposed te give te the poor!’
‘Wha have they ever given you?’ he said. ‘It took someone like me te take youse in an give ye’s a home! Listen te me an ye won’t go wrong. I’ll teach ye everythin there is te know about life.’
We pedalled up the back entrance te the convent. We came along a dark road surrounded by a high wall, wit trees on our right an green fields on the other side, wit vegebales growin in some parts an cows grazin in others. There was a little lodge house fer the farmer an his family. I could see the childre from the convent playin in the fields. They were wearin pinnies over their frocks, an I wondered if they’d like te swap places wit me. We cycled past the childre’s buildin an came aroun te the women’s part. Here the women worked in the laundry an never saw the light of day. We saw a coupla them comin outa the big buildin an goin inta the yard. They were carryin buckets an wore wellingtons, an berets on their heads. Their hair was cut very short an was stone grey. They stopped te stare at us.
‘Yer mammy nearly ended up as one of them,’ Jackser said. ‘An you’d a been put away like them childre round the corner. Ye should remember how lucky ye are!’ he said te me. I felt me heart begin te ache an wondered why God doesn’t listen te me. If me ma was in here an I was wit the childre, then Jackser couldn’t get his hands on us. Then I looked at the women fer a long time, an I pitied them. They were locked up, an I wondered why we went on livin. I was feelin old, even though six is not supposed te be old.
When we got aroun te the front of the convent, we walked down te the grotto, where there was a statue of St Bernadette prayin te Our Lady. Jackser took off his cap an held it between his hands. ‘Get down on yer knees an say a prayer,’ he said te me. ‘Let the nuns see ye prayin. They might even give us a drop a soup if ye impress them. Ye never know,’ he said, ‘we could strike lucky an even get a bit a dinner.’
I was prayin hard wit me eyes closed, hopin we’d get a bit a dinner an Jackser would stay in good form, when suddenly he shouted, ‘Fuck me! Wha’s tha?’ an a tramp came outa the bushes behind us an crept up te Jackser.
‘Have ye got an aul smoke?’ he said te Jackser. An the man was weighed down wit coats an trousers an jumpers, an he was wearin three hats. An he was holdin everythin together wit a rope tied aroun his waist.