Me ma says I have te go te school. She holds me hand an keeps tellin me I’ll be grand. The school’s only a few doors down, an I’m back in the school yard before I know wha’s happened. All the childre are millin aroun, waitin fer the door te open. Me ma asks a big young one te mind me, an Tessa who lives across the road takes me hand. Me ma goes off smilin an wavin, an Tessa tells me I’m a big girl now I’m started school, an isn’t it great!
At playtime when they let us out, I try te escape, but the gate is locked. I look te see if the big young one who is supposed te be minding us is watchin, but she’s too busy tryin te placate all the other childre who are cryin fer their mammies. I try te squeeze meself out through the bars, but I can’t get me head out, an I can’t get it back in either! Panic erupts in me. I give a piercin scream, an the other kids come runnin over. They just stand there gapin at me, an some are even laughin. I’ve made a holy show of meself, but I don’t care. A neighbour, Mrs Scally, sees me an rushes over.
‘What ails ye, child?’
‘I want me mammy! Let me out, I want te go home!’
‘Here, don’t struggle. You’ll only make it worse.’
She pushes me, but me head is tightly wedged between the big black bars, an she’s pullin the ears offa me. There’s a big crowd aroun me now, but I can’t see them cos Mrs Scally is suffocatin me wit her shawl. The smell of snuff an porter an sour milk pourin up me nostrils is makin me dizzy.
‘Here, Teacher! I’ll let youse take over. We’re only makin it worse. Maybe we’ll have te get the Fire Brigade. I’ll run an get her mammy.’
‘The bars will have to be cut, or maybe we could grease her head,’ another teacher said.
I lost me mind. ‘No! No! Don’t let them cut me head off! I’ll be good. I won’t do this again! Just let me out!’
The Fire Brigade arrived, an they had te cut the bars te free me. I kept screamin, cos I thought they were goin te cut me head off. The ma brought me home, but she stopped first te talk te the crowd, an the woman from the vegebale shop gave me a banana. She said it was good fer shock. The ma told them all I put the heart crossways in her an I’ll be the death of her yet, cos I was very wild.
4
Me ma an me are rushin down te meet Dickser. Or she is. I’m not, I don’t want te go.
‘Come on, will ya! I’ll be late!’ She grabs me hand, an she sorts of bounces up in the air, but we’re not movin any faster. I want te watch our shadows, hers long an skinny, mine small wit hair stickin out, chasin beside us. They glide up the old tenement houses as we hurry past the street lamp an then swoop down again, dancin before us on the ground as we leave the light behind us. The cobblestones are black an shiny on the road from the cold mist comin in from the Liffey. The chip shop across the road from Fishamble Street is still open. The smell plunges up me nose before we get there. As we hit the shop, I stop te look in at the bright lights. The Italian man wit the big black whiskers an the dirty white apron hands over a newspaper burstin wit chips an a big ray. ‘One an one,’ he shouts happily at the woman rootin in her purse fer the money. Me belly turns te water, an the shop is screamin at me te come in.
‘Ma, Ma! Buy me chips.’
‘No, I can’t. Wha do ye think I am? Made a money?’
We rush on, an Dickser is waitin fer us at the Ha’penny Bridge.
‘There ye are! I thought I’d never get here,’ me ma said, laughin.
‘I was just about te go. It’s freezin here,’ he said, diggin his hands deeper inta the pockets of his old overcoat. It was raggy an torn, an ye could see his hairy legs, cos his trousers was at half mast an held up wit twine.
‘Have ye any money?’ he said te me ma.
‘No, I spent the last of it on milk.’
‘Lend us a shillin. I’ll need tha fer the back lane hostel tonight.’
‘No! I’ve nothin.’
‘Ah, Jaysus! Come on, then, let’s get movin,’ he said.
We wandered along the dark streets, me ma talkin an yer man busy walkin along the edge of the footpath, pickin up cigarette butts. We walked down laneways, an as we turned down a very dark alleyway, Dickser said, ‘Leave her here.’
Me ma said she’d be back in a minute, but I didn’t want te be left behind in the dark, an I started te cry. Dickser came back as I started te run after them. He lifted me off the ground by the scruff of me neck, stranglin me, an carried me back up the alleyway.
‘Stay there! Don’t make a sound. Don’t move,’ he said as he threw me down onta the ground. I hit the back of me head. I tried te get up, but I was spinnin like mad. The ground was goin faster an faster, an me hands couldn’t find the ground te lift meself up. I rolled over on me belly an got up slowly on me hands an knees, an the roarin in me ears slowly stopped. I staggered over te the wall an looked aroun me. Everythin was quiet, an I looked up an down the dark lane, but I couldn’t see anythin.