‘Martha, Sister.’
‘Right, Martha. Like a good girl, will you step out now and get dressed, and these, dear, are pads. You put one inside your underwear, and it will soak up the blood.’ She opened up a package an took out a white long pad, she called it, an it looked like a thick bandage. An put it on top of the clothes she left on the stool. ‘I’ll be back shortly,’ she said, not lookin at me an headin fer the door. ‘So be quick, Martha!’ As soon as she closed the door, I stood up, pullin the plug, an lifted the big soft towel an dried meself. Then I stepped out an looked at the clothes. A big pair a navy-blue cotton knickers wit elastic in the legs. I pulled them on then looked at the white pad an put it on the knickers an pulled them up. Lovely! Warm an dry. Then I picked up a cotton vest wit a frill at the top, it was soft an light as a feather an long. It covered me arse. Then a long dark-green frock, it’s really heavy wit a white frilly collar. It’s a bit long an wide fer me. But it’s grand an warm an clean. An even a coat wit a wide collar an buttons. I put it on an looked down at meself. It was miles too long, but I didn’t care. It’ll keep me lovely an warm. I’m always freezin wit the cold.
I picked up the brown paper bag, an there’s two packages of pads. Southalls it says. Now I have loads a pads. I looked aroun, an me frock was gone. She must have thrown it out. No socks! Ah, well! Ye can’t have everythin. Then she knocked at the door an put her head in. ‘Are you ready?’
‘Yes, Sister, I’m grand now.’
‘Come along so. I must be on my way,’ an she headed off down the passage, an I followed behind her.
When we got outside, I said, ‘Thank you very much, Sister! I’m very grateful te you!’ Then I lowered me head, an I mumbled, ‘I didn’t know wha te do.’
She put her hand on me shoulder an said, leanin inta me, ‘It’s a natural happening, child. It means you are becoming a woman. This is nothin to worry yourself about. It happens to all women of child-bearing years. Pray to our Blessed Lady, she will watch over you and protect you. She’s doing that all the time. Even when you don’t know it. Who do you think led you to me, child?’
I looked up at her then, an she had the most gentle eyes. I looked at her white face, soft an covered in wrinkles. But I knew she was a saint, even if other people tha looked at her only saw an old woman. I won’t ever forget her an wha she’s done fer me. ‘Thanks, Sister. I’m goin te say a prayer fer you, an I’ll light a candle, too.’
She squeezed me shoulder an smiled, sayin, ‘That would be lovely. You do that, child.’
‘I’d better hurry, Sister,’ an I turned an waved back at her an rushed off te get the coal, the pain in me head easin off.
39
We walked down Lord Edward Street an turned right, headin in under the arch tha led inta the Dublin Castle where the Children’s Court was. I looked up at the sign on the wall tha said ‘The Sick and Indigent Roomkeepers Society’. I always look up at tha sign when I pass it goin te the court an wonder wha the Indigent means. It must mean they’re annoyed cos they’re sick an have no money. I don’t blame them! It’s terrible te be at the mercy of the world when ye have nothin an nowhere te go. I was shiverin wit fear. The thought of havin te face the courts an not knowin wha was goin te happen was killin me. I followed me ma an Jackser in the door te the court an turned left inta the waitin room, an we sat down on a bench. Jackser was very quiet, an me ma was like ice, just starin an sayin nothin. I didn’t want te even look at them, never mind talk. Women an childre were millin aroun, walkin up an down, white as sheets, not talkin either. They were mostly young fellas, not young ones like me.
Everyone was listenin anxiously, waitin fer their name te be called. A name was roared down, an everyone jumped. We cocked our ears an looked at each other, the other mammies askin, ‘Who was tha? Listen!’ An the name was called again.
‘Brown! Emmet Brown.’ The man came inta the room, an a mammy jumped up, grabbin her son by the arm.
‘Here! That’s us!’ she said, rushin Emmet outa the room. He tried te pull back, goin white as a sheet, an the mammy pulled him, sayin, ‘Come on! Come on! We’re here, Sir!’ an she followed the man up the stairs. We all sat back, waitin our turn an feelin sick. No one looked at anyone. Me thoughts were on the waitin. I could hear me heart flyin in me ears, an me stomach was heavy, an I felt I was goin te get sick. I couldn’t stop meself from shakin, an I wanted te get up an walk aroun. But Jackser would go mad, so I sat wit me hands clasped together an stared at the floor. More names were called, an new mammies arrived, creepin in the door an lookin aroun the room, their eyes wide an starin, holdin the hands of young fellas, some looked aroun eight or nine years old. An then they looked behind them at an empty spot on the bench an sat down slowly an just stared inta nothin, waitin, their lips movin, prayin tha everythin would be all right.