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Ma, He Sold Me for a Few Cigarettes(185)

By:Martha Long


I started runnin, wantin te see Charlie. In the gate, better close it or tha aul fella will go mad. I banged on the letter box, the knocker’s gone. An Charlie opened the door. He stood starin at me, an I couldn’t take me eyes offa him. I came in slowly. Jaysus! Wha happened te him? He looks like an aul man. His eyes were sunk in the back of his head, an he had big purple marks under his eyes. An his hair was matted, an he was in his bare feet an wearin a pair of short trousers tha looked like they’d belonged te a twelve year old. An the rest of his face was grey. A dirty grey. ‘Where’s me ma?’ he stood starin at me.

‘We’re back, Charlie!’ I said slowly, smilin, tryin te take him in.

‘Yeah!’ he said quietly, turnin his back on me. ‘An ye’s went off leavin me behind.’ An he walked off slowly inta the sittin room. I followed him in. Jaysus, the place is a mess. Porter bottles everywhere. An jam jars wit tea, an plates, an spoons, an filth on the floor walked inta the filthy dirty black floorboards. The smell was terrible. I opened the curtains an the windas te let in the air, an the fuckin chairs was broken an smashed against the walls an thrown in the corner. Christ! Me heart was sinkin down inta me belly.

‘There’s nothin te sit on,’ I said, lookin aroun the empty room wit only the table still standin an dirt everywhere. I looked at Charlie, an he said nothin. ‘Wha happened, Charlie?’ I asked him quietly. He looked away, sayin nothin. ‘Did he go mad?’ No answer. ‘Did he kill ye, Charlie?’

He shook his head up an down. ‘Youse left me wit him, ye’s wouldn’t take me,’ was all he said. He looked like a very old man standin there in the trousers too big fer him, an his legs, ye could only see a bit of them, was like two matchsticks hangin under curtains. An his feet were black. His eyes was dead, though. An his face was all grey an purple.

‘Yeah! It was a terrible thing we did te ye. Leavin ye behind. I should’ve made me ma bring ye wit us. Later, when it hit me, I knew he’d kill you, cos ye don’t belong te him, an he’d take it out on you! I’m sorry, Charlie!’

Charlie stared at me listenin, then he turned his head away, takin in a breath, an said, ‘Yeah! He hates us, Martha. He wishes me ma didn’t have us.’

I shook me head, ‘Yeah, Charlie! Ye’re right. He thinks we’re only the bastards, but who cares wha tha mad bandy aul bastard thinks. Come on, let’s pick up this rubbish before tha animal gets back.’

I started te pick up all the porter bottles, an I headed fer the back door, puttin them in the corner, cos the dustbin was overflowin. ‘Jaysus, he went mad on the drink.’

‘Yeah,’ Charlie said. ‘He brought aul ones back, an they were laughin an drinkin all night.’

‘Wha?’ I said. ‘Here, in the house?’

‘Yeah. One aul one came in already drunk, an she was plastered wit lipstick all over her teeth an her mouth. Jackser wanted me te cook black an white puddin an eggs fer them. But I couldn’t light the gas. An he gave me a smack a the fryin pan, an I woke up lyin at the back door. I was vomitin me guts up wit the pain in me head. Here, look on the top! Ye can still see the sore.’

I bent down, an his head was matted. It was hard, the blood must of caked in an dried it stiff. ‘It bled fer weeks, Martha. An I had a headache all the time, cos I must a touched it in me sleep, tha’s why the sore kept openin.’

‘Go in, Charlie,’ I said, feelin terrible. ‘This is hell. We have te get the fuck outa here.’

‘Ye’re takin me wit ye’s. I’m not stayin no more,’ Charlie said, lookin up at me ashen-faced.

‘Yeah, Charlie. Don’t you worry. Me ma’s takin everyone. We’re goin te get a place of our own an get away from tha mad aul fella.’

‘When?’ Charlie asked.

‘Me ma’s goin te get everyone outa the homes, then we’ll start lookin,’ I said happily, thinkin about it.

Charlie lifted his shoulders te give a big sigh an sorta smiled, then he dropped them again. I was happy te see him liftin up a bit. But he didn’t look well, an it broke me heart.

‘Let’s make a sup a tea, Charlie,’ I said, headin fer the kitchen.

‘There’s no milk, Martha.’

‘Ah, Jaysus, tha’s too bad.’ I was disappointed. An there’s no bread, so tha’s tha then. We’ll just have te wait.

I was lookin at him when I heard the front gate openin. I leapt te me feet, an Charlie was screamin in fright. He was tryin te get up in a hurry. I was already halfway te the door, an I rushed back, helpin him te his feet. ‘Take yer time, Charlie! Sneak through when they’re in the sittin room,’ I croaked, me heart poundin.