‘It has the mange! Now gerra way an don’t be touchin it. Ye’s’ll catch it! I’m waitin fer the animal-cruelty man te come.’
Suddenly there was a roar from the end of the street, an a load a cattle came stampedin down. ‘Hold er! Ho there! Easy now!’ An we could see young fellas wit sticks runnin in an outa the cattle, scatterin them everywhere. The drover was screamin up behind them wit his arms held wide an a big stick in his hand, wellington boots covered in green shit, an an aul coat tied wit string. His hat blew offa his head, an he didn’t stop te pick it up. More young fellas came roarin outa the flats te give the drover a hand. ‘Feck ye’s all, ye’s little feckers. Ye’s are losin me, me animals.’
‘I’m not, Mister! I’m helpin ye!’ one young fella said. ‘Lookit, them young fellas are robbin a cow. They whooshed it up the alley, an they’ll sell it te Mickey the Butchers.’
‘Where are they? Bring it back fer me, son, an I’ll see ye right!’
‘OK, Mister! Wha’s it worth? Half a crown?’
‘No!’
‘Ten bob, Mister.’
‘Five bob an get a fuckin move on.’
An he was off te tell his pals they were in the money. An then the aul one grabbed up her chair an screamed, ‘Mind the dog!’ An she ran inta the hall, sayin, ‘We’ll be all kilt! Is a body te get no rest?’
We grabbed the box an tumbled the dog inta the hall, outa the way of a mad cow tha was rushin towards us. We could see the white of its eyes an the steam pourin up from it an the shit caked on its back – it was huge! The dogs came from everywhere, an they went bananas, bitin the legs of the cows. An the mad cow changed direction at the last minute an decided he wasn’t comin inta the hall. He skidded an slipped, an the drover whacked him on the arse an whacked out at the dogs an looked at us te see if we should be whacked as well.
The cars were all chopper blocked. An we ran out an jumped on the back of a horse an cart, an the horse was rearin an snortin wit all the cars blowin their horns an the cows an childre an dogs flyin everywhere. An the man wit the horse lost his rag an turned aroun an lashed at us wit his whip. A black dog ran under the legs of the horse, an a young fella said, ‘Go on, Nero! Get them!’ an the horse reared up from the fright of the dog. The man jumped down te quieten the horse, but the horse was foamin at the mouth, an the man was in an awful state. An the woman from the shop came out te see wha was happenin, an she still had her fork in her hand, cos she musta been eatin her dinner. An the men came over from the flats te help steady the horse an said it was a terrible conster de nation altogether. An I thought it was like the cowboy fillums! Only they left plenty a shit behind them – even the horse was shittin wit fright.
I had te sleep in the end of the bed last night, cos me ma had a man in the bed wit her. I didn’t like tha at all, cos they were very noisy, an he was tormentin her all night, an they kept kickin me, an I couldn’t sleep properly. His name’s Anto, an he sells newspapers on the street corner. He got up outa bed this mornin, an he left in a hurry. Me ma looked at me an said, ‘He didn’t leave me any money! I was goin te ask him fer a few bob. I’ve no milk or bread! Run after him an ask him fer the loan of one an six.’
Tha’s a shillin an sixpence. So I ran down an shouted, ‘Anto!’ But he wouldn’t answer me, so I caught up wit him on the street. An he said he had nothin. But I said, ‘Me ma needs it te buy bread an milk,’ an he gave me a shillin, but he was very annoyed.
Me ma was disappointed an said, ‘Is tha all he gave ye?’
‘Yeah, Ma! An he wasn’t goin te give me anythin!’
Today, me ma went down te see a neighbour, an she said te me, as she was rushin out the door, ‘You stay here an mind the babby!’
But I said, ‘No! I’m goin out te play,’ an I rushed out behind her an down the stairs. When I got onta the street, I saw all the people lookin up at a winda an screamin. They were pointin an shoutin an coverin their faces wit their hands. An some were gettin weak. When I looked up te see wha was causin all the bother, I saw me babby brother Charlie sittin on the windasill lookin down. I rushed inta the hall an up the stairs. I couldn’t move fast enough – there were too many stairs, an it was an awful long way up. A door opened, an me ma shot out. She roared at me as she galloped up the stairs, ‘I told you te mind the babby!’ I came rushin in behind her as she grabbed me babby brother from the windasill. The cot was in the corner, right beside the winda, an the winda was open. So the babby climbed outa his cot an crawled onta the windasill an was kneelin there lookin down at everyone. He’s barely twelve months old, an we nearly lost him.