The waitress came over an me ma asked fer a pot a tea. ‘An bread an butter, Ma!’ I said.
‘No!’ me ma said. ‘The prices in here are too dear. We’ll get a loaf a bread later an a bit a cheese in the shops. I have te watch the money,’ she said, leanin inta me. But I could see the men were listenin. They never took their eyes offa us.
‘Are you over from Ireland?’ they asked me ma.
‘Yes! An we’re still tryin te find our way aroun.’ The waitress put the pot a tea on the table, an me ma poured it out, puttin plenty a milk in.
‘I’ve got a place across the street. I’m doin it up now if you want to come and take a look. The rooms are big, and the rent is cheap. It shouldn’t take me too long te finish it. Do you want to come?’
Me ma looked at me. ‘Tha would be lovely if we got somewhere of our own. Wouldn’t it, Martha?’
‘Yeah, Ma! Let’s go an take a look,’ I said, delighted. We drank our tea, emptyin the pot, an the men waited fer us an brought us across the street an inta a hall an closed the front door behind us. I looked up at the high ceilins, an the plaster was gone off the walls. An there was no staircase, only a ladder leanin against the landin.
‘Come on!’ the man said te me, pushin me up the ladder.
‘Oh! I’m not gettin on tha,’ me ma said, lookin at the ladder. ‘I’m afraid of me life a heights.’
‘It’s no bother,’ he said, pushin me up the ladder. Then I was on the landin, an the man was takin me arm. I was lookin down at the ladder, an me ma wasn’t comin up. ‘In here,’ he said te me, pullin me inta a room wit only a bed an shuttin the door. I stood lookin aroun, wonderin wha was happenin. An he pulled down his trousers, exposin his horrible hairy arse an the long thing stickin out between his legs. Me heart started te pound, an he grabbed me an threw me down on the bed. An he pulled up me frock an tore me knickers, rippin them offa me body wit one hand, an holdin me chest down wit his other hand. I started te panic an kicked me legs tryin te turn meself. An he was on top of me an tryin te push tha horrible thing inta me. The pain was like a red-hot knife, an I gave a piercin scream. He stopped an grabbed a pilla te put under me arse. ‘Now, now! This won’t hurt you,’ he kept sayin.
‘Let me go! Please, Mister!’ I was whimperin. I could hear me ma askin fer me downstairs, but she wasn’t comin up. The man tried te push himself inta me again. An I started te get sick. But I couldn’t breathe then, cos he was on top a me. An he kept pushin, an the pain, an tryin te get sick. I could feel everythin goin dark.
Then it was light again, an the pressure was gone, an the pain like a knife goin through me was stopped. An the man was kneelin over me an wipin himself wit the blanket. An me belly an between me legs was sticky wit somethin, an it was just like Jackser all over again. I jumped up, feelin a terrible pain between me legs. An I was standin on the floor, lookin fer me knickers an me shoes. I saw me pink knickers on the bed, an I couldn’t put them on, cos they were torn, an I bent down te put on me shoes. I was shakin an afraid fer me life. Cos I didn’t know wha he might do te me next.
Then he went te the door an opened it, an I was grateful te be gettin outa here. An I followed behind him. But he pushed me back, an the other man was outside, an he smiled an came in. I started te make whimperin noises, an I could hear me ma sayin, ‘What are ye doin te her up there?’ An I screamed, ‘Mammy!’ An the man came in, an the other fella said, ‘Don’t worry! I’ll see yer woman downstairs won’t bother you. I’ll keep her occupied.’
I wanted te scream, but I was afraid they would hurt me mammy. Somethin was tellin me not te panic, or it would make things worse an they might harm us. But I had te find a way out. ‘Please, Mister! Don’t touch me! I want me mammy! Just let me go!’ I was tryin te back away from him an make him change his mind about wantin te hurt me. An not get on the wrong side of him in case he turned vicious an murdered us.
‘Get on the bed!’ he said. He was younger than the first man an jumped on top of me an was pressin even harder. The pain was nothin like anythin I ever had before. I gave a piercin scream, an he pushed even harder.
‘Police!’ I screamed, not carin, wantin the pain te stop. He put his hand over me mouth, an I was suffocatin. I’m dyin! It won’t last, I can’t breathe, an the pain is wha hell is. I was flyin through a tunnel. It was gettin darker now, an the noise in me ears, an the terrible pain, an the man’s heavy breathin, an the panic, is goin further away. I’m leavin it behind, an I know I’m dyin. An I don’t really mind, cos then it will be all over.