Ma, He Sold Me for a Few Cigarettes(149)

Jackser roared outa the scullery at me. ‘Tell tha woman te come in fer her dinner. It’s gone fuckin stone cold!’

‘Here!’ me ma roared at me. ‘Give the babby the rest a the bottle, an make sure ye wind her or she’ll get sick.’ I sat on the chair, an me ma handed me the new babby, fixin her back an head on me arm, an I lifted me knees an held her in tight te me, afraid a droppin her. Me ma put the bottle in the babby’s mouth an lifted me arm. ‘Keep the bottle up, an don’t let any air in.’

The babby started te suck an then stopped te look up at me. ‘Yeah! It’s me,’ I said, shakin me head an laughin at her very quietly. She started te suck again, an I looked at her huge blue eyes starin up at me. ‘Ye’re gorgeous,’ I whispered, starin back at her. She gripped me little finger wit her tiny hand, then stopped an went red in the face an gave a huge fart, shittin inta her new nappy me ma’d just put on her. I took the bottle outa her mouth an looked at it. Only one ounce left. She had enough an started te doze off. So I leaned her forward, restin her chin on me arm, an held her belly an started te rub her back very gently, cos her little bones are like matchsticks. An her wind came up wit a drop a milk dribblin down her chin. An I wiped it wit the clean torn aul nappie me ma keeps fer her. An I carried her over te the cot an put her lyin down te sleep. She didn’t stir, an I looked at her. She was like a livin doll. She never cries an only wakes fer her bottle. An she’s nearly seven weeks old. Her name is Sally, after me ma. Pity tha, cos she would’ve been better wit a name like Sofia, like the fillum star.

‘Did ye not tell her yet?’ I heard Jackser shoutin back te me ma as he came inta the room.

‘Ah, don’t be botherin me,’ me ma shouted back.

‘Holy Jaysus!’ Jackser said, lookin up at the ceilin. ‘They’re after us again te get ye te school, or they’re puttin you away, so get yer arse up te tha church at half-eight, first thing in the mornin. An there’s a bus waitin te drop ye outside the school.’

‘Yeah, OK, Jackser.’ I tried te make sense a this. It’s well over a year since I was in tha school, an even then I hardly showed me nose in the door. Maybe only fer a few weeks they sent me there in all tha time. I won’t know where te go or wha te do, an I have no pencil or copybooks. Jaysus! Them nuns’ll kill me. They’re very strict altogether.

Me ma came in moanin. ‘What am I supposed te do wit all them childre on me own? An who’s goin te go fer the messages, may I ask?’

‘Don’t I do everythin fer ye, Mrs? Do ye want them te take tha young one away? Then we’ll be truly fucked!’ Jackser roared, an pointed his finger at me ma’s chest.

‘Ah! I don’t know. She should be able te finish school by now, she’s eleven years old, fer God’s sake.’

I am? When did I get te be eleven? This is the first time she mentioned tha.

I was out the door an flyin fer the bus, up the hill an across the road. Wonder where the bus is? Through the church an out the gate again. Where’s the bus? Ah! Mammy, I’m goin te miss it. There it is! Over by the shops. I flew across the road, not mindin the Morris Minor car tha came aroun the corner. I made it stop, an the man waved his fist at me. I looked again. Ah! Tha’s me ma’s doctor, hope he doesn’t know me.

I made it up behind a gang a kids all squeezin onta the platform, squashin the conductor inta the corner as he tried te hold onta his bell te stop the childre from bangin it. ‘Go easy! Go easy!’ he roared, as everyone tried te make it up the stairs before it filled up an the rest of us got kicked downstairs. ‘There’s plenty a room inside!’

I squeezed inside an made fer the end of the bus, wantin te sit at the back on the long seat where ye could see everythin happenin. ‘Inside now! No more seats upstairs!’ roared the conductor, jumpin on the stairs te block the childre goin up. Everyone banged the bell, hopin te make the driver take off an leave the rest of them still rushin from all directions te catch it.

The bus was full now, an childre were still rushin on. ‘Push up there! Let us on!’ The conductor pushed all the childre havin te stand now down the bottom, an I couldn’t see a thing. The bus was burstin.

‘Geroff the platform!’ screamed the conductor. An pushed even more down.

Jaysus! I’m suffocatin. Then the bell gave three loud quick bongs an another three bongs. An the driver pushed back the little winda behind me back an looked fer the conductor but couldn’t see or hear a thing wit the noise. ‘OK, Tommy!’ screamed the conductor, swingin outa the bar an leanin offa the platform. ‘We’re off!’