We walked down the aisle in twos, singin ‘The Bells o the Angelus’, an the doors were thrown open. The church bells rang, an our mammies looked at us wit stars in their eyes. The old women cried an blew their noses in the corner of their shawls. An the traffic was held back while we sang our way across Meath Street from the chapel te the Little Flower dinner house te get our breakfast.
We sat on benches along a big table covered in a white tablecloth, an we were given a big bowl of jelly an ice cream. They put cloths on over our dresses te keep us clean. Then the nun an the teachers came aroun te admire us. The nun smiled an spoke te each child, an admired them an told them their mammies were very good. An then it was my turn. I turned aroun te show her me dress, but the teacher said somethin te her, an she nodded te the teacher, looked at me, an kept goin on te the next child. She smiled an admired the other child’s dress, but she didn’t look at me. I looked down at me jelly an ice cream, an I knew I shouldn’t be havin it. I wasn’t supposed te be here wit the others. I’m just like Hairy Lemon, an people are afraid te go near dirty tramps. I held me head down in shame. I didn’t want people lookin at me the way the nun did.
Me ma brought me te make the collection an visit all her friends. We went all aroun the Liberties, down te the Oliver Bond flats an up te Keogh Square. The babby’s new romper suit was covered in chocolate, an he kept smilin at everybody, cos they were kissin an squeezin him, an tellin him he was gorgeous, an givin him crusts a bread dipped in sugar te chew on. I was admired an patted, an told te twirl te show off me frock. Me ma drank tea an ate cake, an I drank lemonade an ate cake an biscuits. An we did the same thing the next day after the Mass on Sunday. Me ma kept this up fer a week, until me frock was filthy an I was sick of the sight of me veil, which kept fallin offa me head, an then I wouldn’t wear them any more.
9
We’re leavin our house, cos it’s condemned. We’re movin up te James’s Street. We pass St Patrick’s Hospital down the hill an then turn right inta a row of flats wit a wall at the end.
The horse an cart arrives te move our furniture. We don’t have much, me ma says, cos it’s all gone over the years te feed Nelly’s drink. All me granny’s lovely antique furniture, which she got from her mother an father who were French Huguenots an tha had been in the family fer hundreds of years. Me granny had been a Protestant until she married a Catholic.
We have two rooms in our new flat an a separate scullery an bathroom an tilet. We share a landin wit another flat, an an old woman lives in there on her own. Our flat looks a bit bare. We put the wardrobe an bed in the bedroom, an the table an one chair in the sittin room along wit the chest a drawers. We put the chair by the fire, but we don’t light the fire. So me ma sits there until it gets dark an just stares over at the winda, which looks over onta another row of flats. We have gas fer cookin on, but we can’t, cos we don’t have a cooker.
A man from the St Vincent de Paul brought us a cooker. An he gave me a shillin. Me ma told me te go down te the shop on the corner an buy a bottle of milk. So I ran down an left the man talkin te me ma. When I came back, I went te the wrong flat an opened the door. The people were strangers, an I didn’t know where I was. They explained it must be in the next block, but I was worried, cos they all looked the same te me, an it was gettin dark now. So I rushed inta the next block an hurried up the stairs, but I was afraid te turn the handle of the door in case I was in the wrong room again. So I opened the door quietly an saw two people lyin on the floor. I got a shock an ran back down the stairs an onta the street. I was beginnin te cry an felt the fear risin up in me chest, cos I was lost an I’d never find me mammy again. So I went back te the room where the two people were lyin on the floor te ask them where me mammy was. I was sure we were livin there, so I couldn’t understand it. I knocked on the door, but they didn’t answer. So I opened the door an put me head in. They both saw me an jumped up laughin, an then I saw it was me mammy. They told me te go out an play, but I said it was pitch black out. The man was annoyed, an me ma chewed her lip an looked anxious, an then he left in a hurry. The room seemed empty, cos earlier we had been happy.
We have te put a shillin in the gas meter if we want te use the cooker. Tha’s a lot of money, so me ma spares the gas an only uses it te boil the milk fer the babby’s bottle or make a drop a tea. We don’t turn on the light, cos tha costs money, too, so we go te bed when it gets dark.
I look after the babby now an give him his bottle. Me ma doesn’t give me anythin te eat these days, so I share the babby’s bottle wit him. I take a coupla sucks fer meself an give him a coupla sucks. He used te scream an buck himself in me lap, sometimes nearly fallin off. But now he just sits quietly lookin up at me while I have me turn.