Lying and Kissing(14)
Obviously, this was insane. Obviously I had to say no. But I remembered how he’d made me feel. Not just the all-consuming lust, but that sense that I was waking up after three years asleep, that he was real and was making me real again. I’d give anything for another taste of that.
I’d been staring at Adam’s desk as I thought. Now I lifted my eyes to his face. “What if he finds out? What if my cover’s blown?”
“Then he’ll kill you,” said Adam simply.
It felt like freezing water was sluicing up my spine. But, at the same time, I felt the ghost of Luka’s hand on my chest, pinning me to the wall. His other hand, exploring me. A flame sprang into life at my core, black as night yet furnace-hot. I could barely breathe.
I was terrified and yet turned on. And some indescribable third feeling, a mixture of the two.
“How long?” I asked. “How long would I be with him?”
“Until we find out how big this deal is,” said Adam. “We don’t have jurisdiction to arrest him ourselves. But, once we have evidence, we can pressure the Russians to act.”
My legs felt as if they were going to give out, so I flopped down into the chair again. I couldn’t meet Adam’s eyes anymore, the twisting heat inside me out of control. God, did Adam know how I felt?! It must be written all over my face. Certainly, he must have figured out what happened in Luka’s bedroom.#p#分页标题#e#
“Arianna,” he said softly. “This is one of the hardest things an agent can be asked to do. I don’t do it lightly. But Malakov is a difficult man for us to get close to. He doesn’t trust anyone...except maybe you.”
I nodded.
“If you say no,” Adam said, “I swear to you, it won’t affect your standing or whether I send you on future field ops. You have a choice.”
I could feel Luka’s hand on my thigh, his fingers toying with the waistband of my panties.
“Take some time,” Adam said. “Think about it.”
I didn’t need time. There was only one possible choice.
“My answer’s yes,” I whispered. “I’ll do it.”
A half hour later, Adam called in Roberta. He asked me to wait in the hallway while they discussed my reassignment. While they discussed me.
It turned out that the soundproof walls at Langley aren’t all they’re cracked up to be.
“Are you out of your goddamn mind?!” yelled Roberta. “She’s a languages geek, not a field agent!”
She’d always seemed so proud of my skills. It didn’t feel that way now.
“She’s smart,” said Adam calmly. “She’s resourceful. She handled herself well at his house.”
“She could have been killed! If he’d seen her messing with his laptop—”
“He didn’t. And anyway, it’s her choice.”
Roberta’s voice rose further. “You don’t know her like I know her! She’s got issues!”
“Do you think I’d be suggesting this without having read her file?”
“That’s not the same as knowing her! She has flashbacks! Nightmares! She can barely get in a goddamn car, Adam!”
Hot shame flared in my cheeks. I hated being a mess. I hated still feeling like a teenager.
“She’s CIA,” said Adam. “She’s done her training. She wants to do field work. And Malakov wants to fuck her. That’s good enough for me.”
“You know that kind of field work needs a certain kind of woman,” snapped Roberta. “Arianna is not it. Get Nancy!”
I jerked at that. Nancy? They’d put my best friend on this, instead of me? My stomach tensed up. Nancy was the best. That showed how hard Roberta thought this mission would be. Maybe I should back out. Let Nancy have it. She was the mature one, the together one.
But then I thought of her seducing Luka, effortlessly and professionally, and...part of me didn’t want that. Am I jealous?! That’s insane!
“Nancy’s in Venezuela,” said Adam. “And Malakov doesn’t want that sort of woman. He wants Arianna.”
“You can’t do this, Adam! Why do you even want Malakov so badly? Let the Russians handle him!” Their voices were getting louder. I winced. I hated hearing them fight.
I heard Adam’s chair scrape the floor as he stood. “You need to back off. That girl works here and right now we need her and she’s stepped up to the plate. The only one who’s not on board here is you!”
“I’m the only one who’s thinking straight! Arianna is—” She must have realized she was shouting, because she lowered her voice.