Her breathing had turned shallow, and it was then that I had realized mine was, too. I may have been touching her, but it seemed as though all of my senses were on high alert. I could hear the changes in her breathing as if she were exhaling into my ear. I could literally feel the goose bumps on her skin beneath my fingertips, and I could smell her arousal in the air like it was room spray.
I leaned down and gently grazed her lips with mine while letting my hand travel further down her body. With my fingertips, I felt her suck in her stomach and hold it so I stilled my hand. But I kept my lips on hers, slowly breathing in her breaths, and then exhaling into her slightly parted mouth. My eyes stayed open, watching her intently, but hers remained closed. I watched her eyeballs move wildly behind the thin skin of her lids, and her eyebrows rise high on her forehead every time my fingers moved an inch.
"Look at me, Ivy," I whispered against her lips.
Her eyes flashed open and then focused on me. The grey was dark and a dramatic contrast to the red. They were bright and vivid as they stared into my own. I wanted so badly to know what she was thinking, what was going on inside of her.
"Talk to me. Tell me what you're feeling," I whispered desperately.
She took in a shallow breath and then stuck out her tongue to lick her lower lip, licking mine in the process. My dick strained against my thigh in my pants as the moisture of her tongue and her breath left my lip cold, only to be warmed by her mouth again.
"I don't know what I'm feeling," she admitted with hesitant words.
"Are you scared?"
"A little."
"Do you want me to stop?"
"No." Her answer was so fast it didn't give me time to worry.
Relief flooded me as I trailed my hand even lower on her abdomen.
"What am I supposed to be feeling?" she asked nervously.
I gently pressed down with my fingertips just below her belly button, adding slight pressure to define a certain spot. "Do you feel a strange sensation here?" I asked with my palm flat against her stomach and feeling it tighten beneath my hand.
"Yes," she breathed out.
I pressed a kiss to her lips before moving them to her jaw, down to her chin, and onto her neck, pressing soft kisses along the way. I trailed them down to the center of her ribcage, leaving one last kiss in the spot between her breasts. My lips ran gently over her shirt, following the curve of her bra before finding the peak and opening my mouth, clamping my teeth tenderly over that spot that I knew covered her nipple. Her back arched off the table and a gasp left her lips.
"Are your nipples tight, like tiny balls trying to push through your skin?"
"Uh-huh," she answered, trying to catch her breath.
I looked back up to her face and noticed her eyes were closed again, her lips parted, and her cheeks were a soft pink. "Open your eyes, Ivy, and look at me," I ordered in a husky tone, trying to regain my own composure.
She did as I told her to and blinked a few times before landing her eyes on mine. Once I had her attention again, I continued trailing my fingers down her stomach, pulling the sheet down with it, until I reached the elastic band of her underwear. I stopped, needing to stop myself from pushing beneath it and following her directions to stay on top of the material.
"Are you wet, Ivy? If I touch you, will you be wet? Will I be able to feel your desire?" My voice was full of air, coming out in deep pants as I asked her things I desperately needed to know for my own sanity. I had never lost my focus like this before. I had never been so into the moment that I forgot where I was or what I was doing, but Ivy had a way of making everything fade into background noise, only leaving behind the two of us and the acute awareness of her body. She was doing something monumental to me and I no longer cared.
She didn't answer my questions, only panted into the quiet room filled with the soft glow of lighting from behind the crown molding that circled the ceiling. I didn't ask her again; instead, I cupped her over her soft underwear harshly, pressing the heel of my palm in the crevice just above her pubic bone and applying pressure at her covered entrance with my fingertips. I could feel the moisture on the pads of my fingers, soaked through the material of her underwear.
Her breathing stopped, her legs came up as she tried to pull them into her, and she covered her face with her hands. She didn't need to tell me to stop for me to pull my hand away. I wrapped my fingers around her tiny wrists and coaxed her hands from her face, needing to see her.
"Look at me, Ivy. Calm down and look at me."
After a moment of heavy breathing, she finally opened her eyes again but trained them on the ceiling. I watched as a single tear ran down the side of her face. The sight of Ivy crying left me hollowed out and aching. Knowing I had caused that tear to fall from her eye felt like a knife to my chest, carving my heart out and leaving me lifeless.
I leaned my body over hers, cupping her cheeks in my hand while trying to silently convince her to look at me. I desperately kissed her lips, quick yet forceful. That made her look at me and I pulled my face as close to hers without losing focus on her panicked eyes.
"Ivy, you're okay. Talk to me, please. Tell me what's going on. What happened?"
She shook her head in quick, short jerks.
"Did I hurt you?"
"No."
"Then what happened?"
"I don't know. I told you, I can't do this."
I relaxed and pressed my forehead to hers. "Yes you can. You were doing it. You were fine. Just breathe for a second. Take a look around; you're safe here-you're safe with me. I promise, Ivy; I won't let anything happen to you."
"I know. I'm sorry … I just freaked out."
"Do you want me to stop?" God, why did I keep asking that? Even though, I knew why I continually asked. It was because I cared about her wellbeing. I cared about her more than I had ever cared about anyone before.
Her answer stunned and excited me. "No. Don't stop."
"Are you enjoying it or are you forcing yourself to continue. Don't do this if you're hesitant. I want you to enjoy it." I couldn't help but think about her retelling of the last time she had sex when she forced herself to keep going. I didn't want that. Not for her or for me. I would never be able to look at myself again if that's what she was doing.
Her legs relaxed and fell back to the table. "Was I … you know … wet?"
I couldn't help but laugh a little at her. "I think you already know that answer. You ready?" I asked and as soon as she nodded, I quickly moved my hand back to the warm space between her thighs. I kept one hand on her face, keeping my eyes on hers so that I could watch for any hint of her pulling away from me.
I made sure to keep my fingers focused on the tiny ball of nerves, steering clear of the wet spot, no matter how much my mind wandered there. I couldn't afford for her to shut down again. With a little pressure from the tips of my fingers, I began to run in slow, concentrated circles. Her breaths picked up and I noticed her eyes begin to lose focus.
"Don't fight it," I warned, knowing she was close.
I increased the speed and pressure of my fingers, causing her back to arch slightly off the table and her head to tilt back. I felt her left leg begin to pull up as she dug her heel into the cushioned pad. Her breathing changed as well-instead of coming out in short pants, she was beginning to hold her breath and I knew she was right on the edge.
"Cade, I have to pee," she fought back.
"No you don't, Ivy. Stop fighting it."
"No … I really have to pee."
"Ivy, you don't have to pee. I promise. Stop fighting it and let it go. Look at me." I waited until her eyes refocused and then said, "Let me give this to you, please. Stop fighting it." I added a little more pressure to her clit and pressed down on her lower abdomen with the heel of my palm again.
Once again, she held her breath as a slight glimmer of sweat coated her forehead and her cheeks flushed. When her eyelids started to fall, I didn't stop them. I knew she was reaching her peak and would start to come down any second. Once she bucked her hips into my hand, I knew there was no going back.
I watched with immense pleasure, fighting to keep myself from exploding, as her entire body started to convulse and the lungful of air started releasing in jagged, harsh spurts. Her eyes were closed tightly and her brows were pinched together in the middle. Her mouth hung open as she tried to control the shocks that ran through her body. It was the most erotic and beautiful thing I had ever witnessed and an uneasy realization settled deep within me-I would never be satisfied watching another woman orgasm again.