“Not bad for a City Boy,” I nudged Jack as we scrubbed our hands in the freezing cold water to clean the grease off. Joe was nice enough to go through the safety checks on my plane before he climbed into his own, cleared the signals, and started his propellers. He waved as he turned towards the open water, ready to take off. Jack and I watched his plane grow smaller and smaller before we spoke, the unwanted words hanging in the air between us.
Time to bite the bullet, Anna. I took a deep breath. “Jack, I—,” I managed to start.
He cut in. “Don’t leave yet, princess.”
Jack’s brown eyes were full of pain and unspoken emotion and it nearly undid me. But I pulled it together and clasped his hands.
As I looked into his eyes, I said, “It’s been really, really great. These were probably the best few days of my life. It’s definitely been the best sex.” I laughed, but Jack didn’t find it funny. “But you and I both know this—whatever this is—wouldn’t extend past that. I need someone who wants to live life to the fullest, go out into the world and go on adventures with me, not someone who wants to hide out here.”
Those last words came out as a blow, I knew it, but I needed them to sting enough for him to let me go. For me to push him away enough so I could get on the plane.
Jack’s eyes turned cold; clearly the comment hit him like I’d intended. I felt a punch somewhere in my solar plexus at the sight, at the realization that I hurt him. But I took my chance and backed away from him slowly. I had nothing to load up; everything was still in the cockpit. I had my clothes, I had my new float. Time to rock and roll.
Just as I stepped onto the foothold, I made the mistake of looking back. Jack stood there on the dock, pants soaked to the thighs and white T-shirt streaked with grease from the float bolts. His brown, wavy hair was tossed in the wind and mussed from my fingers running through it again and again; I couldn’t help but smile. I leapt down from the foothold and walked slowly to him, prepared to give him one last kiss.
“Anna, don’t go,” he pleaded as he took my face in his hands. I angled myself up on tiptoes to kiss him softly on his bowed, perfect lips. “I love you.”
I hugged him and, as I did, whispered, “I love you too, Jack.” And I did, but I couldn’t stay.
He looked down at me, confused. “I’ll see you next week, right? My regular delivery?” he asked and attempted a wink. I smiled noncommittally and backed away, soaking in the last sight of him. I wasn’t coming back. I couldn’t.
I turned and jogged back to the cockpit, stepped all the way up, and kick started the propellers. The anchor dragged up too slowly for my liking and I watched Jack pace the length of the dock like a caged tiger. His tan skin gleamed and his chocolate eyes looked a little misty, but just as I almost lost sight of the dock, I saw his arm wave in goodbye. A single motion but my heart broke at the gesture.
Goodbye, Jack.
I cleared the water and flew north, away from the cabin, away from Jack, away from my life in Alaska, tears streaming down my face as I left behind the only man I’d ever loved.
Chapter Seven
Jack
The week passed so fucking slow as I waited to hear Anna’s old floatplane fly overhead. Sometimes, I thought I heard the propellers of her plane from the north and I ran towards the front door, out onto the lawn, and peered straight up. Each time, I was embarrassed at the level of disappointment I felt in the hollow of my chest.
I was totally whipped. I knew I’d see her again in just a few days, but my pillow smelled like her, my study smelled like her, and I couldn’t get her out of my head. Hell, we’d fucked on practically every horizontal surface in my house. There was literally nowhere in my house I could look without seeing her, hearing her, feeling her.
Missing her.
I tried to shake off the Anna-induced fog and made one big move, one that would set my course for the foreseeable future. I sent an email to connect with the startup. We scheduled a conference call, outlined my involvement in the company, and I offered my investments with clear expectations. The CEO, a no-bullshit man, welcomed me on board as a consultant. I was back in the game and it felt good. Most of all, though, I couldn’t wait to share the news with Anna. This meant that we could leave Alaska… together. That our paths would be parallel rather than star-crossed.
The day came, finally, for Anna to deliver my groceries. I sat around the living room, unable to even consider work or research. As the afternoon approached, I became downright agitated. I paced like a madman around my house.
Where the fuck was she?
There was no storm, no reason to delay. I nearly worked myself into a frenzy when I heard it—-the faintest sound of a prop engine plane coming from the north. I stood stock-still, just to be sure it was actually a plane before I ran into the yard like a maniac. Again.