Lumber Jacked(14)

I was stunned. I hadn’t realized she was so eager to leave, that so much thought had gone into her master plan. College. Selling her home. Those were big risks for someone with no support system, no family to fall back on. I just assumed she was a twenty-four-year-old girl who dreamed of Big City lights. And here I was, wrong, and quiet as a damn tree stump. I shook my head and cleared the thoughts. I coughed before I finally found my voice; I felt like the World’s Biggest Dick.

“Anna, I’m sorry. I had no idea it was like that. Please forgive me for being such an ass,” I leaned forward and stroked her hand. She jerked it back and I felt a little rubber band snap in my chest, a physical sting from her rejection.

“Yeah, well, what’s your story, Jack? How did a city boy like you end up in nowhere, Alaska hiding from the world?”

Anna’s eyes were lit with curiosity, and I started talking before I could sensor the words. I took a deep breath and decided to tell her everything. I hadn’t cared what people thought before, but now, I wanted Anna to know the truth. Needed her to understand.

“Well, just over a year ago I sold my latest startup and moved up here from Seattle. Made a pretty penny on it but lost most of it on my ex. She told me she was having my baby… but she lied.” I paused and took a deep breath.

I looked at Anna quickly to see if she was smirking because I’d been so stupid to let Victoria take advantage of me, but instead I saw the same regret on her face that I had felt when she told me her story. She wasn’t judging me, not yet.

“Her name was Victoria. We were dating, she got pregnant, and I always wanted to be a father, so…”

“You married her.”

“Stupid, right?” I ran my hands through my hair and plowed ahead with the gory details. “We’d been married almost a year when her ex showed up one day, demanding a paternity test and a hundred grand.”

“Oh, God.”

I grinned, but knew the humor didn’t reach my eyes. “Well, I don’t know if God had anything to do with it, but the test came back and I wasn’t daddy anymore. I lost my baby girl and my wife in one day to some asshole investment broker I’d introduced her to at a corporate party.”

“Jeez, Jack. She was a bitch. I’m so sorry.”

“The worse of it was, I sold my startup so I could be with her and the baby, bought all the baby stuff, even bought a ‘Dad car’ to hold the car seat. I loved that little girl. Her mother was difficult and, to be honest, I didn’t love her like I should have. But I did the right thing. And then I found out… she was sleeping around on me and the baby wasn’t actually mine.” My breath stuttered in my chest and I took a big gulp of my soda to hide my moment of weakness.

Anna’s small hands reached across the green laminate table and she gripped mine fiercely. “Jack, I’m so, so sorry. I had no idea, I’m the asshole for always being such a bitch to you. I can’t believe you never told me, even when I teased you all the time…” her eyes misted over again and I reached over to stroke her cheek.

“It’s okay, really. You deserve to know and it’s time I told someone. I came to the cabin for a quick vacation and didn’t leave. I just fell in love with Alaska, and I haven’t been home since. I keep lying to myself, and everyone else for that matter. I told my family I stay up here because I’m not ready to invest in another startup, that Alaska is just too relaxing. But that’s a lie. I’m just not ready to face my memories back in Seattle.”

The words left my mouth and I felt a huge rush of relief as the truth finally came out. My mother was the only one who knew and I was pretty sure that was why she hired Anna to bring my groceries. Had she been playing matchmaker?

Well, she’s going to be pissed when she finds out the woman of my dreams is leaving Alaska.

Yeah, this woman, this feisty, tiny little spitfire of a woman was the one I wanted.

We sat in companionable silence before Anna sat up a bit straighter, uncomfortable again.

“Jack… why didn’t you ever make a move before? All those times I delivered to you, I knew you were interested. At least in my tits and ass,” she added with a chuckle. “Men are forward up here. But you never did anything. That’s why I assumed you were neutered,” she laughed, but only to cover the insecurity I saw in her eyes.

“You don’t need anyone, Anna. I could tell. You are gorgeous, drop dead gorgeous,” I added as I looked directly into her fiery gaze. “You don’t need anyone to help you fly a plane, unload heavy coolers, chop wood… anything. You’re wholly yourself. And I mistook that for disinterest, so I didn’t make a move,” I finished as I leaned forward in the well-worn booth. “If I’d known how hot you’d burn, I would have dragged you to bed the first time I saw you.”