Recognizing an opening Patrick said, “Lucy, tell us what happened before you moved to Divine.”
Chapter Eight
Patrick understood how Lucy felt, as she looked between the two of them, and recalled having a similar talk with her in February. She sighed and then nodded. “I was engaged when I lived in Temple. Chuck’s family was well-to-do. Being from a middle class family, I knew I didn’t come from the background they’d expected, but I’d hoped in time I’d win them over. I was willing to change to make him happy.”
Beck grunted. “That doesn’t sound like the Lucy I know.”
“Stupid, I know. I soon discovered making his mother happy was an impossible task when she took me shopping as an engagement gift. She said that I’d need clothing for social functions.”
“I thought you enjoyed clothes shopping,” Beck said.
Patrick grunted. He didn’t like the idea of someone trying to make her over. “Sounds like a Trojan horse to me.”
“I love shopping, normally. I was uncomfortable but Chuck insisted that if I went along with it, she’d have one less thing, namely my appearance, to complain about. I gave in but inside I rebelled, thinking that she should accept me the way that I was. She took me to an exclusive boutique in Dallas and picked clothing in styles I never would’ve chosen for myself.”
“Trying to make you over into someone you’re not. I’m relieved all of this is now history,” Patrick murmured, hoping to ease the telling.
“Not half as relieved as I am. While I was trying them on she criticized my height, my weight, my hair, my shoe size, my dress size, giving all kinds of helpful advice. In between critiquing each new outfit she’d chat with the saleslady in private. I didn’t realize what she was doing until I got everything home. She’d had the saleslady trade out the clothing that fit to a size smaller. Her passive aggressive way of forcing me onto a diet plan. I found out she’d also gotten me a membership at a gym. My school schedule didn’t work for the personal trainer she’d hired and she told me I should just quit that ‘tacky trade school.’”
Patrick grinned when she growled softly at the memory.
Beck chuckled. “Now that sounds like the Lucy I know.”
Lucy smiled even as she crossed her arms in front of her and rubbed her upper arms, a self-protective gesture. “I’ve always felt overweight and awkward since I hit puberty. Her actions and words solidified the criticism and I felt lower than dirt. Chuck was sympathetic, or so I thought. And I hung on because I thought that as long as he liked the way I looked everything would be okay. One long weekend, we took a camping trip to Big Bend, one of my favorite places in the world.”
“You enjoy camping?” Beck said, looking incredulous.
Lucy rolled her eyes and elbowed him in the ribs. “Yes, jerk, I love camping. Anyway, we hiked on a trail to a scenic vista located in the Chisos Mountains. The Window. Have you heard of it?” Patrick nodded and Beck shook his head as she continued. “During the entire hike, he told me his mother was trying to help and I should be grateful. And that perhaps she was right about everything, especially my weight.”
“I hope you told him to kiss you gorgeous ass and kicked him to the curb,” Beck growled.
Lucy shook her head. “I was still stupidly loyal at that point. I love being in the outdoors and I did my best to not let his words get me down, thinking that he was having as much pressure from her as I was. At the end of the trail there’s a drop off of several hundred feet. I was scared but at the same time exhilarated, and I wanted to get as close as I could. Up until that point I’d felt safe.”
“Felt safe? What’s that supposed to mean?”
Beck’s words mirrored Patrick’s own thoughts. “Why didn’t you feel safe?”
Lucy looked down at her hands and then said, “He held my hand when I asked him to, while I leaned out and then he said, ‘Don’t lean out too far or you might pull us both over. Mom was right about that trainer.’ And I just...” Her hand trembled when she rubbed her forehead and was lost in thought for a few seconds.
“That son of a bitch,” Beck growled, his hands curling into fists.
Patrick sensed that there was more to the story. “What else did he say?”
Lucy looked up at him and opened her mouth, then closed it and shrugged, avoiding his gaze. “Just more of the same stupidity. I realized that I was fooling myself to think he truly accepted me the way I was.
“The hike back to the Lodge was awful. Chuck got mad because I had nothing to say to him and what should’ve been a careful uphill hike suddenly became a test of endurance. Midway back, when I realized that he was trying to prove his point, I slowed to a more normal pace. We were in a wild area where hikers need to stay in pairs but he moved on and returned to the Lodge without me. During the hike back I came to the realization that I needed to end it. I was naïve to think I could satisfy them.”