"If Tony Matteo hadn't given me a job, I'd probably be dead now," I said, looking up at Isabel to see her face pale, a tear rolling down her cheek. "I owe him that, at least."
"Oh, my God," she said. "I'm so sorry, Jake."
"Forget it," I said, refusing to let the emotion build in me. I swallowed it back down as I'd done so many times before. "It's in the past."
"How could she do that to you?"
I shrugged. "I've asked that question so many times. I don't think I'm ever going to get an answer.
"Where is she now?"
"Psychiatric Institute on the edge of London. I'm glad she's not in prison."
"Wow, really? Aren't you angry that she's not been punished?"
"No. She'd have been paroled eventually but she'll be in the hospital forever. And that's for the best because if they ever let her out, I might kill her."
Neither of us said another word until the bus pulled in. I was lost in my own thoughts, remembering so many things at once it was almost overwhelming. "Here it is," I said, standing up and nodding my head towards it.
"What do we do?" she asked.
"We go together," I replied, making a decision that although I didn't know it at the time, turned out to change the entire course of the rest of my life.
TWENTY
ISABEL
I felt so sorry for him, sat next to me on the bus, looking for all the world as if he'd said nothing at all. He looked straight ahead, his hands on his thighs, ready to leap upwards like the Terminator at any moment. I was quiet for a while, not wanting to disturb him. In the car park, he'd looked vulnerable for the first time since I'd met him.
The signs were subtle, flicks of the eyes, the way his lips narrowed as he talked about the past, his brow furrowed. You had to be paying attention to notice it.
I was more than shocked by the story he told me, I was appalled. How anyone could do something like that to another person, I had no idea. I couldn't imagine how angry he must have been, I'd have raged against the world for the rest of my life.
He pulled his phone out when it vibrated. Looking down at it, he muttered under his breath.
"I'm guessing that's not good," I said, nodding towards it.
"Tony wants to know what's taking so long."
"What are you going to tell him?"
"Nothing."
"You've got to tell him something, haven't you? What if he finds out you're on a wild goose chase with me."
"I'll think of something."
His phone vibrated three more times over the course of the journey but he didn't look at it again. "It can wait," was all he said when I asked him about it.
It was late in the evening when we reached Bicester. The bus pulled into the depot and we climbed off. I'd wanted to talk more about his past but hadn't wanted to pester him, not after the way he'd looked in the guesthouse car park. He headed off to the ticket office, leaving me to stand looking at his back while wondering what the hell I was doing.
My life had become that of a snowball rolling down a mountainside, picking up momentum as I went. All I'd wanted to do was get away from a marriage to a man I had no interest in. Then I'd ended up at Gentle Falls, I'd been taken under the wing of Mr Mysterious, a man happy for me to call him Daddy which somehow felt more natural than calling him Jake.
Was it just because he was looking after me when no one else seemed interesting in doing it? I tried to square that with some of the thoughts I'd had about him, the way I'd touched myself while imagining him inside me, the dream I'd had about him. Was it fair to think about such things when I was supposed to be on the way to see Ben?
"I've good news and bad," he said as he turned away from the ticket office. "Which do you want first?"
"The good."
"We've two spaces on the coach to Gladwell."
"Great. What's the bad news?"
"It's not until tomorrow morning."
"Damn it. Do we just sit here and wait?"
"That's an option but there is an alternative."
"Which is?"
"We stay in a hotel for the night. I've enough cash for us both."
"I can't let you pay for me again."
"Yes you can. Daddy looks after his little girl."
My heart skipped a beat when he said that and it was impossible to keep the smile from my face.
"Come on," he continued. Let's go find somewhere."
I was still smiling as I followed him. I'm sure he could have hired a car to get us there quicker. The only reason he hadn't done that was the same reason why I was so glad he was coming with me. He wanted to spend time with me. It was a nice feeling, giving me a warmth deep inside me that was only affected by my self doubt over Ben. Was it right to think about Jake that way? As my Daddy?
Once we reached the hotel, he headed up to the reception desk and I followed him in time to hear him ask for a double room. "Not sleeping on the floor this time?" I asked him as we walked across to the lift.
"Not this time," he replied.
When we reached the room, I headed into the bathroom. I came out to find him with his top off and there was his chest again. My insides tingled at the sight of all those muscles. "What are those?" I asked, walking over to him. I realised as I got closer that he was covered in scars. "How did you get these?"
"Doing my job," he replied, looking down at my hand as we both realised I was sliding my finger along one of the scars on his chest.
I coughed loudly, leaping away from him, looking anywhere but at his body. "I … err … better get ready for bed," I said, pulling back the covers and climbing in.
"Not going to undress?" he asked, moving over to his bed.
I shook my head. "What kind of girl do you think I am?"
"I think you're Daddy's little girl and you should get undressed before bed."
"But I don't want to."
He took a single step towards me, folding his arms as he did so. "I told you to get undressed before bed. You've been in those things all day. They'll be filthy."
I thought about reminding him that he'd had them cleaned for me but decided against it, he looked angry enough without that. I knew I should buy more things but I also knew my father was monitoring my cards and I had no idea how to get round that. I wished I'd brought my suitcase with me but I also knew I'd left it behind to speed up my escape. What a great plan that had been. I was quite the genius.
I looked up at him, thinking he was joking but he was still standing there. "Well?" he asked.
"Well what?"
"Are you going to get undressed?"
"Not with you watching me."
"Fine," he said, looking as if he was wrestling with his decision before crossing to the bathroom. "You've got two minutes."
TWENTY-ONE
ISABEL
I did undress before climbing into bed. I told myself it was because I wanted to but I knew the truth. I was doing it because he'd told me to. Laid under the covers with no clothes on, I felt just as exposed as if I'd been standing naked in front of him. It was much tenser than last time but what had changed, really?
When he came out of the bathroom, he was wearing just his boxer shorts and he looked good, he looked really good. I did my best to only glance at him out of the corner of my eye as he crossed the room and climbed into his bed. "I hope you did what Daddy told you," he said, turning his head towards me.
"I did, Daddy," I replied, lying on my back and feeling my nipples stiffening, rubbing against the blankets while my pussy began to throb with desire. I could throw back my covers and show him my body, beg him to fuck me. Would he do it? Or would he tell me that wasn't how little girls were supposed to talk? Or act?
I closed my eyes, refusing to look at him any longer lest I do something really stupid. This wasn't the plan, this wasn't what was supposed to happen. I was supposed to be running away to the love of my life.
Was Ben the love of my life though? That was the big question. I was torn in two different directions and the crying out of my pussy for attention wasn't helping me to think, nor was knowing that a cock that could solve that problem was a few feet away, hidden from me by a single layer of clothing.
I had been so sure I wanted to go and see Ben before I met Jake, or at least that was what I told myself as I lay there. But was I only doing it because if I didn't then I had no clue what I'd do otherwise? Ben was part of my past and was I just trying to return to my past? To a time before all these problems began.
He'd been the one beacon of light in a shitty childhood. Sure, I'd had money, for the most part. But what good was money when you were stuck at a boarding school you hated? Whenever I came home for holidays, I could tell my father resented me being there. "Why spend money on an education if you're just hanging around the house?" he used to say.