Losing his wife and being left to care for a newborn turned out to be too much for my father, I guess. A few months after I was born he gave me up. That’s how I became a ward of the state.
Over the years I’ve been severely mistreated. I’ve been inappropriately touched, mentally and physically abused, and almost sent to the brink of starvation with one incredibly cruel family I was unlucky enough to be placed with.
Sure not all foster homes are bad. I did, on many occasions, get placed into nice families. The trouble with foster care is, it’s only temporary. Those nicer homes never lasted and I found myself being thrown into other incredibly disturbing situations more than I care to admit. Even at my young age it didn’t take long to distinguish between families who fostered because they cared, and those who did it solely for the money.
The things I’ve been through in my short life would’ve broken even the strongest of characters, but not me. As the years passed and I realised nothing or no one could change my situation, that no one was going to ride in on a beautiful white stallion and save me from the miserable predicament I was in, I began to use my life experiences to my advantage. With every hardship, it only served to strengthen my will to survive.
I have a strong feeling in my stomach all that’s about to change. Well, a hopeful feeling anyway. If my life has taught me anything, it’s that things aren’t always as they seem.
My gaze follows the large M. M. initials that are moulded on the black wrought iron security gates, as they slowly part, allowing us access.
I wonder what M. M. stands for?
My eyes dart everywhere as we travel down the long driveway towards the large white house. This place looks like something you’d see in the movies. Is this really going to be my new home? I can’t contain the excitement that courses through my body as I bounce up and down on my seat.
I’ve been told that jade is supposed to be a symbol of luck. It’s even been said to guard against accidents and misfortune. I never believed that. Look at the life I’ve led up to now.
Maybe I’m wrong.
Maybe it’s actually true.
Maybe it really is lucky.
When the car finally comes to a stop at the entrance to the house, I’m suddenly frozen with fear. I’ve noticed this always happens when I arrive somewhere new. It’s probably because I never know what lies behind those doors. Some of the terrible places I lived in flash through my mind.
Please let this be one of the good ones.
“Are you ready to go inside?” Cheryl, my social worker asks, pulling me from my inner turmoil. She must see the uncertainty in my eyes when I look her way because she reaches across the seat, taking my tiny hand in hers. “It’s okay to be frightened, Jade,” she says in a reassuring voice. “I understand that this’ll be hard for you, but Melody handpicked you out of all the other children in the orphanage. Like me, she can see how special you are.” I feel a smile tug at my lips. Cheryl has always been kind to me.
When she lets go of my hand and exits the car, I do the same. After opening the trunk, she passes me my worn brown suitcase. The handle is broken so I tuck it under my arm. That and the few clothes inside it are my only possessions in this world. I treasure them.
After we climb the front steps and stop at the large wooden door, I notice the same initials that were on the front gate, carved into the rich wood. When Cheryl raises her hand to knock, I inhale a large breath, squaring my shoulders.
I’m a big girl now, I can do this.
An elderly man answers the door a minute later. He’s dressed in a suit. His eyes rake over Cheryl before landing on me.
“My name is Cheryl, and this is Jade. I’m with the Department of Community Services.” He looks down at her outstretched hand, but doesn’t take hold.
“M is expecting you,” is all he says, stepping aside so we can enter. He seems a little mean. It brings all my worries back.
“Wow,” I breathe when we enter the grand foyer of the house. I’ve never seen anything like this before. I still can’t believe this is going to be my new home.
“This way please,” the mean man says. We both follow him into a large room off to the side of the main entrance. My eyes are darting everywhere. “The child is here.”
“Welcome, my dear,” Melody says rising from her desk and coming to stand in front of me. She has a pleasant smile on her face which makes me feel better. She was really nice to me the first time I met her in Cheryl’s office. I think I’m going to like it here.
“Thank you,” I whisper in a shy voice as I bow my head.
When Cheryl prepares to leave a little while later and says her goodbyes, my stomach churns as the butterflies return. I’m going to miss seeing her. I’m suddenly feeling unsure again about being left on my own in this big house.