Lucian (Filthy Marcellos #1)(34)

"You're really on with this girl, huh? I mean, where does she go when we get here? Straight to your bed. Who did she ask for when she seen me? You. They beat her apart and you held her together. Some might call that a hero."

A deep laugh rumbled from Lucian. "Kind of. Odd, isn't it?"

"She's so head over heels for you and she doesn't even know it, yet."

"Jordyn knows it. I know it. Fight like we're in love. We fuck like it, too. You'd have to be stupid not to realize it."

"Thanks for that," Gio muttered lowly, rubbing at his eyes.

"It's just easier not to label it all right now. With the situation we're in, things like that only make it all the more complicated. Normal things don't happen this fast. I wanted to give her a chance to be with me outside of all of this nonsense and then see how it worked from there."

"How is this normal?" his brother asked. "The way you and Jordyn ended up wasn't normal. Nothing about this is, Lucian. Why do you expect falling love with her to be normal, too?"

"What do you even know about that word?"

"I know I cried all the way to the vet with Cain choking to death on my lap this morning. Wondered what was going to keep me coming home every night if he wasn't there wanting his food and a walk. Maybe it's not the same kind of adoration, but I love that dog. I just do. I did from the moment I found him in that shop. He was mine, you know? He knows it, too."

"Did you just compare Jordyn to a dog?"

Gio's brow furrowed. "Seriously?"

"No," Lucian said, laughing. "Get the hell out, and thank you for picking her up."

Standing, Gio tossed the note Lucian wanted to burn to the couch. "Sure you don't want me to stay for a bit? She was kind of hysterical for a while when we first got here."

"No, uh  …  I think I have some apologizing to do."

And really, Lucian's hands were itching to touch Jordyn just to know she was okay. All the anger he thought he felt for her earlier had disappeared in his worry.

Chances were, his brother did not want to hear what came after that.

As Gio walked past Lucian, he bumped his older brother's shoulder playfully. "So, can we go all out with her now?"

"What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean," Gio said, smirking. "Mom wanted to take her out Marcello-style, but Dad said we had to wait for your okay on it."

"Really?"

"Jesus, I thought your okay was when you brought her to church and then dinner. Clearly I missed something here."

No, Gio hadn't. Lucian was just being a total idiot.

"Got any plans?" Lucian asked.

"Dante bought three private balconies at that opera next month for Mom's birthday. There's a whole before party going on for it, too. A charity thing or some nonsense. Politicians, big profile names, the works."

"That's a while away, though."

"True, but that'd be a public way for the family. For us, we just need to take her out and let her have fun, right? The next morning it'd be splashed all over the society columns. Yours and Dante's birthday party is coming up, too, so that would work."

Lucian considered his brother's offers. "Let me talk to Jordyn first. After today, the last thing she might want is to go public with me at her side."

Gio snorted. "Right. You're fucking hopeless."

Once Gio was gone, Lucian heaved a sigh. Staring around his place, he couldn't help but notice the changes since Jordyn started living with him. Mostly, Lucian's life was in such a constant state of disarray because he was perpetually moving and nothing ever seemed to really get finished.



       
         
       
        

Jordyn started to fix that here and there.

Things had never been more organized. As simple as that seemed, it was huge to Lucian. She cared for and about him without it being asked from her. Jordyn just did it because she wanted to. Lucian still couldn't understand where he'd gone so wrong. How could be have made her feel like she was his whore?

That was a dirty, awful word. Something that was used to describe his dead mother and the relationship she forged with his father. It was also used to shame him because he was a product of them being together.

Lucian would never do that to a woman. It was, essentially, why it had taken him so long to find someone he wanted and could love. The last thing he intended to do in his life was be settled and married with someone he couldn't care about enough to be faithful and loving to. He didn't want another family hidden on the side to make up for what he didn't have at home.

But, he wanted Jordyn. Needed her, too.

As he walked into his bedroom, Lucian noticed an opened box on the bed. He picked through the items carefully, noting what they were and some of the dates stamped on tickets and stubs. A thin, gold chain with a cursive S rested at the bottom of the box. The few photographs of a woman with a much younger Jordyn told Lucian these were private, personal things he shouldn't be going through without her permission.

So, he packed them back inside the box and turned towards the bathroom where the shower was running. Jordyn hadn't shut the door. It was a quirk Lucian still couldn't get over since finding her after the beating. It shocked, amazed, and pained him to know she still kept the doors open for him, even if he wasn't there. He had a perfect view of her naked figure through the shower glass.

Water rained down, creating a constant cascade of twisting rivulets over her skin. The usual curly locks of her dark hair was wet and waved, fanned over slender shoulders and covering her breasts. Most of the bruises had faded, though a few of the bad ones around the areas where the studs of the belt had broken skin still remained with a yellowish tint. The cherry blossom tattoo moved with the sway of her body, like living art.

Beautiful.

Bellissima.

His.

She was crying. Soft, trembling cries like that of a kitten were being drowned out by the water. Tears, small and glittering, dampened her lashes and streaked her cheeks.

Lucian hurt so badly for those tears.

Before he even realized what he was doing, Lucian was crossing the bathroom and reaching for the sliding glass door to the shower. Jordyn stopped him. Turning at the sight of him in the space, her hand came to rest on the small inside handle as if to keep him out. It wouldn't have really stopped him if he wanted in.

Droplets of water fell as Jordyn shook her head. "Just  …  don't." 

"I'm sorry," Lucian said, needing to get it out. "I should have listened to you this morning, but I knew what kind of a day it was going to be and brushed you off. I didn't want to fight with you. What I said was true, but I could have said it in a better way."

"Lucian-"

"Just let me apologize, Jordyn. I don't want you to be someone else. I don't need you to be anybody but exactly who you are. Maybe the way I've gone about this whole thing has made it seem like it, but I want you for you. I'm sorry you can't go back. I'm sorry that bastard has taken so much away from you. I'm sorry if you've ever felt alone even once standing beside me. I'll give you everything-anything-to replace what you don't have because that's nothing less than what you deserve. It's not because I'm paying for you, or us."

"I didn't want to go back," Jordyn whispered. "I just wanted the things you couldn't replace."

Lucian nodded, finally understanding that fact. "I'm sorry I didn't hear you when you told me that the first time. It escalated into something different and I only heard what wasn't important. You scared the hell out of me today, sweetheart."

"I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault. I didn't explain to you well enough about what was going on outside of us. Frankly, I've been more concerned and focusing on you to care about any of that. I thought that's what you needed."

"It was," Jordyn replied quickly. "I know I'm safe with you. I do."

"But you need more, too," Lucian said gently. "A life, because you already had one I uprooted you from and it doesn't revolve around me. I can't expect it to, either."

Jordyn sniffed, glancing away. "He knows you have me, doesn't he? That's what that note meant."

"Just means I don't have to keep you hidden anymore. That's all."

"I screwed up going down there."

"No," Lucian rushed to say. "Jordyn, don't blame yourself. You only did what I wouldn't give you. Nothing happened, and you're fine. That's what matters."

"Is it, though?"

"For right now it is. It's a day by day thing, just like it always was."

"I don't want him to hurt me again."

Lucian's heart broke. "He won't. You know I won't let that happen."

Finally, she let go of the inside shower handle. Lucian opened that glass door faster than he thought possible. Not even thinking or caring about the rushing water from the spray, he stepped inside the stall to grab what he wanted the most.

Jordyn.

Instantly, her back was to the wall as he pressed her against it. Lucian cupped her face, kissing her harder than ever before, passion covering every stroke of his lips to hers as their tongues found a familiar, searing rhythm. Water soaked his clothes straight through, but he didn't mind a bit.