The thing was, Drake hadn’t initiated anything intimate with me, which led me to think that, yes, he never would. It was a sobering thought, but one I had considered before. This time, though, it dug deeper into my heart.
Strolling about, I lost track of time before I had found myself staring at a beautiful cliff that had an olive tree five feet away from the stomach-clenching drop.
I wasn’t sure why—I truly wasn’t—but there was a curious side of me that wanted to see, to check it out what it was like to be at the tip of it, hanging on the balance. My life could be fatally gone in the blink of an eye. With one wrong move, I would be gone.
The wind softly greeted my face as I closed my eyes, savoring the moment just for another second when I heard my name.
“Lily!” Drake’s incensed voice boomed throughout the valley of mountains that surrounded us. “Don’t move!” he bellowed, running towards me.
“I’m fine!” I yelled back, wanting to ward him off, but he was unstoppable.
Before long, he quickly took me away from it all, securing me right underneath the olive tree I had admired moments ago.
“Have you lost your fucking mind?” He was red with fury. “Were you … Were you trying to kill yourself and the baby?” he rushed out, as if he couldn’t fathom what was going on with me.
“What?” His question made me reel back, offended. “I wouldn’t kill my own child! I was just admiring the view. God! Don’t say such hurtful things. You know I would do anything to protect our baby.”
He was cupping my face, evident fear in his eyes. “I thought I was going to lose you. I—” he halted speaking, bringing me into his arms and hugging the life out of me with my bump nestled between us.
“I wasn’t going to commit suicide. I promise you … I didn’t…” I tried to reassure him as I felt the galloping rate of his heart, clearly shaken from my idiotic move. “I’m sorry, Drake. I didn’t mean to scare you like that.”
He remained silent, his hold on me not loosening, still clinging to me as if he was about to lose me if he chose to let go.
“Don’t,” he said with a breathy sound. “Don’t you dare ever do that to me again. I won’t ever forgive you if you decide to do something risky again.”
Pulling slightly away from his arms, I sought his eyes, and what I found there was a man who had truly feared my own demise.
“I’m sorry. I really am…”
“Lily.” He choked up before kissing my forehead, the very first affection he had shown me since he and I had begun this wretched journey of tearing each other apart.
My heart was all over the place, feeling too heady for words by the small token of affection he had granted. Little did he know, he had given me something to look forward to. He had resuscitated my heart, my shredded soul.
Exactly like that, we stood for what seemed like eternity, wrapped in each other’s arms, not sharing words yet profound emotions.
In his arms, I felt the sadness and the bleak loneliness that had marred my soul. In there, secured in his warmth, I felt myself gradually blossom again. Above all, I felt it—I felt hope—rise like a spring flower basked with bountiful sunshine.
It was all I needed. A little encouragement that showed there was something there, that I still mattered greatly to him. Not as the mother of his child, but as a woman. His partner. His wife.
I love you. I wanted to tell him just how much. When the time came, I wouldn’t stop declaring it over and over again, until his ears went deaf from it.
Chapter 24
Lily
A week later, he and I sat at the doctor’s office for a regular check-up, but this time, we would also know our baby’s sex.
Not only did this day mark a celebration, but it was also the very first time Drake and I had gone out to do something together. Granted, it was for the baby; still, it was the closest I had been with him in such a long time. The simple laughs and the very feeling of having him around me took my breath away.
With his hand entwined with mine, all eyes were on the small screen that showed our precious baby. The heartbeat with its loud swishing noise made him smile, and for the first time, I found tears in his eyes.
“Thank you, Lily.” He bent close to my ear, whispering, “Thank you for giving me so much joy.”
I wanted to respond back, but the young doctor had another agenda.
“It’s a boy!” he declared, beaming with the news.
“Did you hear that, Lil?” Drake stood up, wanting a closer look as the doctor pointed out the area that evidently showed the sex of the baby. He was gasping with pride and awe while I watched him with overflowing love. “We can’t wait to meet you, little man. Daddy and Mommy love you like crazy already.”