When I felt his hands slowly letting go of my hands, only then I felt it. Only then I felt him, that he was done fighting with me. He was done fighting for me.
“What about the baby?” I frantically asked, desperate to hold on to the last straw that was supposed to hold us together.
“I want joint custody the moment you bear our child.”
“I…” I what? I’m sorry? Did sorry even fit to the kind of horridness I had treated him with? No, it did not. “I couldn’t talk to you. I was jealous, and it poisoned everything for us.”
“No, Lil. It was you who poisoned us, not jealousy or anything else. It was you believing you can treat me however you like because you’re married to me and carrying my child. But under no circumstances should a spouse be allowed to feel he or she is better than the other half,” he rasped out with a low, sad timber to his tone, ultimately making me drop my gaze to his lips. God, those lips I couldn’t stop kissing before were no longer mine to kiss.
“Did you have sex with anyone while married to me?” The love, the feeling I thought I had lost for him awhile back, seemed to have found its footing. It was slowly creeping back into my system.
“What does it matter?” he answered incredulously. “It’s not as if you’re suddenly interested in what’s going on in my life. So the question of whether I did or didn’t have sex with another woman is not important.”
“It is to me,” I insisted. “It’s important to me.”
Just as I finished saying that, his cell phone, which was sitting on his desk, started shrilling out of nowhere, breaking our conversation.
Cussing, Drake ran a hand through his hair while his other hand clutched on the small towel around his hips before striding over towards his desk, avoiding my gaze as he took the call.
Watching him from a distance, only then did I fully see what I had carelessly thrown away.
For such a long time, I had loved him from afar. Seeing myself going back to where I had started brought dread to my diminishing hope.
Chapter 20
Lily
The entire time he was speaking on the phone, not once did my gaze wander or waver. It remained securely trained on him, noting every single thing he did. I should have left, but I couldn’t find the power in me to get away from there. I was spellbound by the revelation that this man could still take my breath away.
The question was no longer if I wanted him back in my life, it was how would I get him to love and accept me as he had before?
“I have to be somewhere tonight,” he started while I tried to avoid openly staring at his muscled body. “I need to shower and go through some paperwork before heading out. Did you drive here, or do you need me to have one of the company cars take you home?” He was never nonchalant about everything, making my ever climbing desperation skyrocket some more.
Where was he going? I badly wanted to ask yet knew it wasn’t my place anymore. As a result, instead, I asked, “What time will you be home tonight?”
He paused from scrolling through his phone before giving me a levelheaded look, sending my heart into acute palpitations. “I actually just decided that maybe we should avoid each other for a while. There’s this problem in New York, and I initially wanted to send someone else for a week to take care of it, but after this, I think it’ll be good if I go take care of it myself. It’ll give us space, which you and I badly need.”
He was going to New York for a whole week?
“When do you plan to leave?” What the hell have I done? It seemed as if he would escape as much as possible to avoid me altogether. Did he really despise me that much?
“I’ll be chartering a jet to leave tonight right after the business dinner.”
Trepidation filled me. “Do you ever plan on coming home?” I questioned in a small voice.
He shook his head before releasing a regretful sound. “No, I don’t think it’s wise. For the baby’s sake, I want to keep what little civility we have for one another by staying away. All we’ve been doing lately is inflict more damage.”
“I’m moving out some of my things tonight, then. I don’t think I can be in that house, either.” The house was too big for Skull and I. Besides, if he wasn’t there anymore, I didn’t want to be reminded of how empty my life was without him. The place had once been filled with our love and happiness, and recalling exactly how much love we shared in that place made me sob a little.
“If you think that’s best for you, then I can’t argue with you about that,” he said before strolling towards the bathroom. In less than a minute, he came out donning a black robe that made my mouth water just at the mere sight of him.